I’m so over the endless flood of articles on “The Best Positions to Blow his Mind” or “How to Give the Ultimate Blowjob.” Like, no thanks, buddy. What if I just want to please my gorgeous, sexy woman?

If you're like me and officially done with the straight heteronormative playbook, this one’s for you - an unapologetic manual for women who want to worship their queen just right.

Here’s your spicy to-do list for tonight and, oh yeah, tomorrow too ;)

The Velvet

A sits snugly on B’s lap, close enough for teasing kisses and whispered filth. B lubes up their fingers, makes a V-shape with their first and middle fingers, and slides them slowly along the sides of A’s clitoris and vulva. Long, steady strokes, building heat and tension until A is squirming and moaning for more. Of course, make A beg for more as much as you want, and slide your fingers in if both of you wanna :)

The Acrobat Special

A lies on their back with legs up and over B’s shoulders. B leans in, pressing A’s legs back behind their ears, letting your pelvic bones grind against each other for maximum friction. It’s like an all-access pass to that sweet spot with no legs interrupting the action!

The Kneeling Melt

A kneels and leans back against B, who works their magic by fingering or teasing A’s clit from behind. No eye contact? No problem - it cranks up the focus on the moans, the movements, and every little shiver of sensation. A can press back fully into B, closing every possible gap and making it feel like you’re practically fused together. 

The Side Hustle

Get side-by-side, face down, and let the grinding begin. A slides their hand under B’s vulva, while B does the same for A. Start slow, feeling each other’s heat as you thrust into their hand. The rhythm builds and the pressure mounts. It’s dirty and so freaking hot. Want to take it up a notch? Lock eyes while you grind - give each other grins or whisper the thoughts in your head while looking at them. 

The Showstopper

A and B take opposite ends of the couch, leaning back on the arms for a mutual show. As you both get yourselves off, there’s an incredible high mix of watching and being watched. It’s a little bit of performance and a little bit of voyeurism. Bonus: You both get to touch yourselves exactly the way you like it - which doubles as the sexiest tutorial ever.

The Hot Web

B’s sitting in a chair, and A straddles them, facing each other. You start with a slow, passionate makeout, letting that tension simmer. Then, B can slip their fingers inside or A can start grinding against B, letting your pubic bones meet in a rhythmic, sensual way. 

Cosmic Ride

A, you kneel over B’s shoulders, slowly sinking down until your ass brushes against their chest. B’s tongue goes straight to work on your clit while you take control, grinding and moving at your own pace. You’re in charge of the rhythm, letting B pleasure you as you find your own groove. Trust me, this’ll have both of you in an orbit.

Dominance Game

B, get on all fours, and A, straddle their hips, taking the reins. As you tug on B’s hair, let your clit grind against their tailbone. You're in charge here, teasing and building the pressure until it’s almost too much to handle. The perfect mix of domination and pleasure will have both of you on the edge besties.

The Counter Serve

A sits perched on the kitchen counter, legs dangling or wrapped around B. Now, B’s right at the perfect height to deliver a menu of sensations: slick fingers, a juicy oral, and the precision of any of your favorite toys. 10 extra marks if A props her feet on B’s shoulders, adding chef’s kiss intensity.

The Steamy Grind

Kneel facing each other, thighs pressed together, bodies locked in close. Slowly grind against each other’s thighs while your lips are locked in a heated kiss. The intensity of the eye contact, combined with the slow, deep rhythm, is bound to do something so incredible to every hair on your body.

Strap-On Blow Job

A strap-on BJ isn’t just hot, it’s a full-on power play scene. A gets on their knees, locking eyes with B as their mouth teases and worships the strap. B gets a raw, unfiltered visual of A going all in. While B doesn’t feel the toy itself, the pressure against their genitals can be mind-blowing.

Now, A can multitask: slip a hand under the harness to stimulate B’s clit, add a vibrator, or even do a little manual penetration. Trust me, this one’s a scene straight out of your wildest fantasies!

Strap-On Missionary

Missionary gets a sizzling upgrade with a strap-on and baby, it's just as tender. A straps in with a harness and dildo, while B lies on their back, legs wide and welcoming. A slides on top, face-to-face with B, locking eyes as they guide the toy in.

And if you want a little more, A can reach down to tease B’s clit or adjust the angle with a pillow under B’s hips for deeper, mind-blowing strokes.

The best part? Strap-ons aren't limited to missionary. Flip the script with classics like 69, doggy style, or even cowgirl. Versatility can be sexy AF.

Hot Reminders:

Nothin’s hotter than honesty

Look, the hottest thing you can bring to the bedroom isn’t lingerie - it’s communication. Before diving into anything spicy, check in about your STI history, desires, boundaries, and mood.

Make it flirty. Instead of a formal chat, try: “Hey, wanna play a game of ‘Tell me what you’re into’?” Honest convos build trust, and trust makes everything.

Slide into the Lube Game

Lube is the secret sauce to taking things from mmm to OMG. Add five drops (or fifteen) and watch the sparks fly as every touch, and grind gets supercharged. It’s not just about the extra pleasure (which, duh, is amazing); it’s also the real MVP for keeping things comfy and avoiding those microtears (ouch!). Basically, if you’re not lubed up, wyd? 

STIs aren’t Unicorns

Contrary to the myths, sapphic sex isn’t a magical bubble free of STI risks. They can creep in via oral sex, shared toys, hand-genital action (if there are cuts/sores), or even skin-to-skin contact. I’m not saying this to freak you out though  - it’s just a reminder to gear up!

Make regular testing a ritual. A couple outing to the clinic, in our opinion, is very demure, very mindful. Put on dental dams as a barrier between body fluids and skin.

Your toys work hard too, so treat them right. Clean ‘em with the neat massager wash like you mean it.

No one wants free STI bonuses with a great time!

Keep Tabs on Your Bod, Bestie 

Regular checkups can catch anything suspicious early. Notice anything off - unusual discharge, discomfort, or changes? Don’t play detective; just see your doc.

I’m honestly living for writing these big fuck yous to the male gaze manual. Now it’s your turn to take these ideas, bring them home to your bae, and turn up the heat on your terms. 

Also, check out our blogs on Understanding slow sex and what is a kink and its types to improve your knowledge of sexual health.

About the Author:

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.