The slow and minimal living trend is blowing up everywhere - think slow design, slow food, slow fashion. Slow living. It's happening for a damn good reason. We’ve become so fast as a generation in the recent few years, that we’ve forgotten how to just breathe. Slow down. Savor life a little more.

So, what am I here for today? I’m writing to tell you that sex isn't far behind! I’m spilling the tea on why good slow sex is exactly what you might need right now.

What is Slow Sex?

Alright, imagine this: you're in the middle of a hot moment, but instead of rushing to the finish line, you’re taking a detour through every single scenic route. That's slow sex, baby! It's slamming on the brakes and soaking in every. single. second.

Think of it like this: less Usain Bolt, more Beyoncé's slow jams. It’s about creating a deep, soulful connection that’s more about trust than the thrust. Forget the usual spotlight on the genitals; we're talking about appreciating every inch of your partner, mentally and physically. It's intimacy on a whole new level, where the journey is just as thrilling as the destination.

Benefits of Slow Sex

Alright, so you might be thinking, "Why slow down? My sex life is already fire with all the kinks and quickies." And you’re totally right - no shade on that! But stick with me for a second. Sometimes, slowing it down can flip the script in the best way possible. 

Let’s look at a few physical perks first :

Slow sex is your VIP pass to a world of magical new sensations. When you take it slow, every touch, kiss, and caress becomes an electrifying moment. It’s like uncovering new dimensions of pleasure you never even knew existed. Each slow, deliberate move makes your senses tingle, creating an experience that's not just hot, but mind-blowingly intense.

Plus, here's the cherry on top: slow lovemaking isn’t just a momentary thrill. Because it’s such a holistic experience, it leaves you with a deeper, richer, and longer-lasting feeling of satisfaction. It feels like you built something between you and your partner. Your happiness? It sticks around after the fun’s over. It’s like the ultimate afterglow that keeps you smiling for days.

Slowing things down can also seriously up your orgasm game. If you are, by any chance, a heterosexual couple : Guys are kinda hardwired to procreate, which means they tend to hit the finish line a bit too quickly. And yeah, that can be a bummer if you're not quite there yet. But here’s where slow lovemaking swoops in like a superhero. When you slow things down, the whole journey to orgasm stretches out. While slow sex is not just about making the climax last longer - it’s a pretty sweet bonus.

And hey, even if you’re not in a heterosexual couple, this still rocks. Those with female anatomy usually take a bit longer to get aroused and often find it tricky to climax with just penetrative sex. By taking your time, you’re giving your partner the space they need to get fully revved up and reach that sweet, sweet climax without any rush.

And of course, the best best best perk :
Slow sex lets you be fully present with your partner, and take the time to truly appreciate each other. This slow, deliberate pace allows you to tune into your partner's needs and desires, creating a sense of trust and intimacy. By slowing down, you’re not just having sex; you’re actually building a connection that’s strong, meaningful, and deeply emotional.

Techniques for Slow Lovemaking

There are very small, but super efficient techniques that can make you stay in the moment completely, with every fibre and brain cell of your body.

One killer trick: lock eyes with your partner. Seriously, a magical spark ignites when you do this - it's as if you both truly see each other. You'll catch every reaction, see how turned on they're getting, and feel the powerful impact you have on them.

It’s also time to discover your partner’s bod in a way that you usually don’t. Take it slow and explore beyond the usual spots - think fingers tracing delicate paths, playful kisses behind the ears, gentle caresses along the neck, and teasing touches on inner thighs. Treat your partner to a tantalizing dance that sends shivers down their spine and sets their senses on fire. This playful exploration not only amps up the passion but also lets you revel in every inch of their body like uncovering a hidden treasure map. And hey, don't forget, foreplay is your ultimate ally—savor every moment of the buildup!

Another way is, plugging in. It's basically sex without the motion. Sounds intriguing, right? You let your lover be inside you, and don’t move at all. You just keep looking at each other. It’s a new sensation altogether, and will start a slow sex practice, as it allows a deep sense of connection. Your lover is literally inside you. Feel it. Enjoy it. By staying still, you tune into every sensation - your partner's breath, their warmth enveloping you. And when that first slow thrust finally breaks the stillness? It’s like fireworks exploding!

And of course, there are great positions that bring you slowly super close to your partner. Essentially, all you need to do is to find a position that creates a lot of body contact and elevate the eye contact game.

One standout for me? The lotus position. Picture this: one partner sitting, legs folded comfortably, while the other sits on their lap, wrapping arms and legs around them. It’s like a full-body hug that’s all about deep eye contact and serious intimacy. You can just chill together, lose yourselves in each other, maybe rest your head on their shoulder, and steal a few kisses. Bonus: you can totally pull off this cozy setup on a chair too.

You can also try the lazy man style, which looks something like this -

You see how the two bodies are in contact? This allows you to grow closer to your partner.

You can also try any other positions, like spooning or missionary, provided that they keep your bodies close to each other.

Another very interesting trick, and one that I tried very recently, is making out with your clothes on. It makes you giggle and kiss like teenagers all over again. Let there be plenty of light touching.

Enhancing the Experience of Slow Sex

While those tricks can definitely do the job, there’s always room to elevate the experience. Here’s how you can turn it up a notch:

The essence of slow lovemaking is to focus completely on your partner. So, eliminate distractions - stash your phone away, silence reminders, and keep the TV off. Flip your watch upside down to lose track of time. Take care of any other tasks that might pull your attention away, like using the bathroom or grabbing a drink. Take a moment to settle in, relax, and get comfortable before diving in. This helps center your mind and heart in the present moment, fully embracing your connection with your partner.

Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them

We’ve always been taught having a quickie, running to penetration and all of these habits are really hard to break from. But until we let our old habits go, we’d never be able to see and embrace sex any differently. Of course, this is easier said than done

How do you stop obsessing over performance and lasting longer? We've been conditioned to believe that’s the ultimate measure of bedroom prowess, but here’s the real deal: it’s not. The pressure to perform can mess with your head and hold you back from truly enjoying yourself.

So, how do you break free? Start by ditching the goal of reaching orgasm. When you let go of that "gotta cum" mentality, sex becomes just about the sensual, sensory experience you’re getting from it. Suddenly, the pressure fades away, and it’s just about having a blast together. Whether you climax or not becomes less of a big deal - you’ll be too caught up in the joy of the moment.

Ditching the orgasm-focused sex routine opens up a world of new possibilities. You’ll find yourself caught up in the moment, doing what feels right naturally, and truly savoring every second.

Secondly, break away from the porn trap. No, I don’t mean you’ve to stop watching it. But you need to internalize that they’re not exactly focused on romance. Your sex life isn’t a rerun of some scripted fantasy. It’s about exploring your own unique path, trying out different twists and turns that feel good for you and your partner. Embrace what real, intimate connection looks like beyond the screen.

Three, take a chill pill. When you’re relaxed, your partner feels it too, and that vibe sets a beautiful energy between you. It creates an easy, flowing connection.

Now that you’re armed with all this juicy info and pumped for slow sex, I’ve got one mission for you. Just like we’ve been spreading the slow lifestyle gospel in every other sphere, go spread the word about slow sex. Tell your friends, post it on the ‘gram, and let the world know it’s time to breathe and savor this slow and steamy revolution!

Incorporating sex toys, vibrators, and lubricants into your slow sex routine can elevate the experience. Vibrators provide stimulating sensations that complement the slow pace, while lubricants ensure smooth and comfortable interactions. These tools can make your intimate moments even more enriching and satisfying, deepening the connection with your partner.

Also, check out our blogs on premature ejaculation and how to edge like a pro to improve your knowledge on sex

FAQs on Slow sex: 

What is slow sex?

Slow sex is about taking your time, savoring each sensation, and connecting deeply with your partner. It’s less of a race to climax, and more about actually connecting with your partner.

How can I start practicing slow sex?

Start by eliminating distractions, focusing on foreplay, and being fully present with your partner. Embrace eye contact, explore each other's bodies, and take it slow - no rush, just enjoyment.

What are the benefits of slow sex?

Slow sex amps up intimacy, enhances emotional connection, and allows you to experience heightened sensations. Plus, it takes the pressure off performance and lets you fully enjoy the moment.

What positions are best for slow sex?

Positions that allow for eye contact and close body contact, like spooning or missionary, are perfect for slow sex. They let you stay connected and savor every moment together.

About the Author:

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.