If you're asking this, you're already doing something right.

Not “how do I stop it?” or “why is this happening?” but how do I support my child?

That instinct—to protect, not panic—is everything. And this blog is here to help.

First: Being Queer in India Isn’t Always Safe

Yes, homosexuality isn’t illegal anymore. But social acceptance? That’s still a long way off. In Indian homes, queerness is often met with silence, shame, or pressure to conform.

So if you think your child might be queer, don’t rush them to come out. Instead, make sure your home is a place they don’t have to hide in.

You Don’t Have to Know Everything—Just Be Willing to Learn

You're not expected to know all the labels. You probably didn’t grow up with the words your child has. That’s okay. What matters is your willingness to ask, read, adapt, and listen.

Start with, “I don’t know everything, but I love you. And I’m learning how to support you better.”

Want help? We created an entire masterclass on Gender & Sexuality with the brilliant educator Apurupa Vatsalya. It's gentle, real, and rooted in everyday Indian life.

Teach Love Early. And Teach It Loud.

Kids don’t become queer because they learn about queerness. But they do grow up feeling broken, ashamed, or alone if no one tells them it’s okay.

Normalize differences. Teach them that families come in all shapes—two mums, one dad, chosen families, trans uncles, siblings, and dadi-like elders who nurture. Read books like:

• All About Families by Felicity Brooks

• My Shadow is Pink by Scott Stuart

• The Boy and the Bindi by Vivek Shraya

Normalize Queer Joy at Home

Think about this: we celebrate straight love stories without even thinking. Heterosexual love is so normalized, it’s the default.

So why not also normalize queer stories?

Talk about Indian queer icons. Share myths like Ardhanarishvara, or characters like Shikhandi, who defy binary gender roles. Bring them into your stories, your bookshelf, and your casual conversations.

Because when your child sees queerness as part of your world—not an awkward exception—they feel safer being themselves.

Book Recs for Curious Parents & Growing Teens

For Parents:

•  Shikhandi: And Other Queer Tales They Don’t Tell You by Devdutt Pattanaik

•  A Guide to Gender by Sam Killermann

•  The Queer Parent Primer by Lotte Jeffs & Stu Oakley

•  Seeing Like a Feminist by Nivedita Menon

For Teens & Tweens:

•  The Boy and the Bindi by Vivek Shraya

•  Gender Swapped Fairy Tales by Karrie Fransman

•  Pet ny Akwaeke Emezi

•  You Know, Sex by Cory Silverberg

•  Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag by Rob Sanders

Let Art and Culture Do the Talking

Art is how we unlearn shame.

Expose your child to theatre, comics, drag performances, zines, indie cinema, and creators who talk about queerness in Indian contexts.

Don’t wait for “the big talk.” Let culture start a hundred little ones.

Call Out Bigotry—Especially If It’s From Family

You can’t claim to be a safe space and laugh at “chhakka” jokes.

If your child hears you staying silent when relatives spew bigotry, they’ll assume it’s unsafe to be honest.

Yes, it’s hard to challenge your elders. But your child needs to know that they don’t have to fight this alone. That their parents have got their backs.

Don’t Enforce Gender Stereotypes

Let your kids wear what they want. Cook, dance, climb trees, play dress up. Clothes and hobbies don’t have gender—we only think they do because we’ve been told so.

Stop telling boys not to cry. Stop calling girls bossy.

The less you box them in, the freer they’ll be.

Let Them Ask Questions—Even the Big, Scary Ones

And it’s okay if you don’t have to have every answer. You can accept that you don’t know everything. Express that you’re glad your child asked. And then find out together.

The End Goal? A Home Where They’re Loved, Loudly.

Whether your child comes out at 14, 40, or never at all, your job is to make sure they know:

They don’t have to hide at home.

You love them because of who they are—not despite it.

They never have to earn your support.

And if the world outside is cruel, noisy, and unsafe, at least your home won’t be.

About the Author: 

Madhu (she/her) has been an avid reader of all things spicy since her childhood. She writes sassy blog posts and listicles now so that others may benefit from her wholly inappropriate, wholly informative tastes, too.