“Bro, my vibrator has changed my life!”
“Please, get one. You’ll thank yourself for it!”
“It’s the best money I’ve ever spent.”
- Literally me, in every single conversations with my girlfriends, and with all of you
I mean, sure, I usually come from a place of toe-curling pleasure, and last night was a total rollercoaster ride! But, there's more to this steamy story than meets the eye.
Amidst the conversation of sex toys and the fireworks they bring, we sometimes overlook the secret sauce – the deep, meaningful connection they have with your mind, soul, and sanity. And nope, I'm absolutely not pulling your leg on this!
The relationship between sex and mental health
There’s a sizzling connection between gettin' busy and your fabulous brainwaves. First, the obvious: sex is like a ticket to happiness, and honey, that's a journey you wanna take for the sake of your mental mojo!
But let me convince you a little more by dropping science bombs. When you have an orgasm, your body's like a chemistry lab on a wild spree. It's tossing around hormones like confetti at a party. We're talking oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins – all hormones that are directly linked to your happiness. The more you summon these magical moments, the happier you become.
Yes, time to update your mental health playlist now!
Breaking stigma: Normalizing the use of sex toys for mental wellness
“Oh, a little helper? Why? Problems in bed?”
“There’s no spark in your relationship kya, is that why you had to do this?”
“Shush, promise you won’t tell anyone about my vibrator?”
We’re constantly afraid of being judged and shamed for using sex toys. They are seen as a threat to a guy’s manhood (or the failure of it). Exes have disregarded or judged our fetishes and kinks.
When we make space for these conversations, and talk openly about our pleasure, we can zap that shame and guilt. It brings a healthier attitude towards your own needs and desires.
And it's not just about smashing shame, honey. We're breaking the chains of isolation , simply by realizing that we’re not alone in our desires, or our struggles. We celebrate diversity, by recognizing that there is no one-size-fit-all manual to this realm.
We can collectively redefine intimacy, to a canvas larger than the night sky. We start finding our people, our community. And guess what? In the bigger picture, these awesome thoughts start creating a healthier environment for the next gen, where discussions around pleasure and mental wellness will be embraced from an early age.
Sure, we've got some ground to cover on this journey, but guess who's got the power to start this revolution? You and me.
Reducing stress and anxiety
By now, you know the drill : more pleasure equals fewer worries. But there’s another wondrous way in which it frees us.
We worry about ‘being amazing’ in bed, or ‘the best they’ve had’ or even the worry of not being in a perfect shape. In the midst of these feelings, we forgot to have, (yes, you guessed it right) fun!
This is where sex toys can swoop in to save the day. They help reduce this performance pressure, since they boost pleasure for both partners. Buh-bye, performance anxiety.
Empowerment and Self-Exploration
Sex toys help you discover new turn-ons, understand what’s pleasurable to you, and open new doors to your sexuality. It's like a metaphorical representation of ‘looking inside yourself for answers’.
You start understanding your body like you understand your favorite playlist. When you know the ins and outs of our body, you start appreciating every inch.
Our chill buddies also give you the comfort of exploring your body at your own pace, as slow or fast as you like. It also helps you understand your boundaries - makes you realize what you’re okay with and what you aren’t. They become your safe space, and don’t judge you at all.
But wait, there's another bonus! These toys are not just for the buzz, they make you think about the links between your body image and sexuality. It’s like a ‘know-how’ turbo boost - a crash course on sexual literacy, empowering you with knowledge about anatomies and pleasure.
Boosting Intimacy and Connection
So by now, your toy has touched you in places nobody has ever gone - but have you thought why nobody ever even thought of going exactly there? That’s because you never told them. And it’s not your fault, you didn’t know what you exactly liked.
However, sex toys can help you discover these exact stimulation points that work best for you, which you can communicate to your partner. You can guide them through your body like a roadmap. This leads to a boost in the communication, and thus the connection you have with your partner.
Oh, but that's not all these saucy sidekicks do! They're like conversation starters on steroids. “What’s the wildest way you want to use this toy in?”
And the conversations aren't just about spilling the tea on kinks and cravings. It can also be establishing boundaries. You create a non judgemental space between the two of you.
Let's not forget the superpower these toys have in breaking the humdrum routine. It shifts the focus from performance to mutual pleasure. The result?
A stronger emotional bond, shared memories that'll make you smile like a kid in a candy store, and more playfulness than a basket of puppies. It's like a laughter-filled adventure that leaves you and your partner high-fiving the universe!
Improving Sleep and Mood
Have you ever noticed how you sleep better after a fireworks-worthy moment? How you doze off within minutes of getting on the bed?
Why does this happen? It’s because when we climax, we produce prolactin - the sleep inducing superhero. This hormone paves the way for a slumber so deep and calming, you'll wake up feeling like you've been on a dreamy vacation.
So, your favorite toy is quite literally, your ticket to the best snooze ever! What more is an incentive big enough for you to purchase a new toy and include it in your night-routine!
"Hold up, mindfulness and orgasms? Do those even go together?"
Mindful masturbation isn't just about reaching the finish line – it's about savoring every moment of the delicious journey. It means to move beyond ‘just a quick session’ to greater understanding of our bodies, pleasure and relaxation.
This actually sets the stage for better sexual experiences and also enhances your self-care game.
Now, let's talk tactics, shall we? Mood-setting, focusing on your breath like you're practicing for a sexy yoga class, and well, drum roll, please... sex toys!
When you invite these playful pals, your focus sharpens on every sensation. They provide a platform for exploring a range of sensations, fostering a greater awareness of one's body and its responses. They're like your pleasure professors, teaching you the art of taking it slow, being in the moment, and indulging in every delightful touch.
By exploring different rhythms and levels of speed, you're painting a canvas that's as unique as you are. They also ramp up arousal by directing focused attention to your chosen zones, cranking up the intensity of the entire experience.
It's like creating your very own masterpiece of mindfulness and arousal.
The next time I hit you up with that full-volume "Get a vibrator!" message, trust me, I’m not hyping it up for no reason. Nope, there's some serious wisdom behind my advice. Who knows, your therapist might just send me a thank-you card for this genius idea!
About the Author
Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.