Usually, everytime that I write to you - it's all about the fun stuff : why your clit needs sex toys, those hot new positions to try, and why owning it in bed can be such a turn-on. But today, I want to talk to you about something else. Today, I want to talk to you about a conversation that is tough, might not be as juicy and slurpy, but trust me - it’s something I need to tell you, and something you need to know.

It’s the biggest struggle my friend deals with every single day. And it might just be the toughest battle someone you care about is fighting, too. We’re talking about endometriosis. So, what is it? Endometriosis is essentially when the lining of your uterus decides it’s time to grow and get outside its designated area, crashing the pelvic zone like it owns the place. It sets up shop on your ovaries, fallopian tubes, and all those other essential spots. This brings so much havoc and chaos in your life, that you wouldn’t wish this on the worst of your worst hated list.

Symptoms of Endometriosis

Endometriosis doesn’t play nice at all. First on the list: unimaginable pain. I’m not talking about regular ol' cramps. This extreme pain usually hits before your period and hangs around for days on end.

Then there’s the bleeding - spotting between periods or super heavy flows that might just feel like a horror movie. But of course, that gets waved away too. “Oh, it’s just hormones acting up!” Um, excuse me?

And don’t even get me started on what it does to your pleasure. Pain during or after sex is a massive red flag that’s hard to ignore. This isn’t just a little discomfort; it is a total buzzkill. I mean, if your whole body is going through hurricane level havoc inside, you’re not going to feel like kissing someone, are ya?

On top of all this, there’s pain during bowel movements or peeing, often misdiagnosed as something like an STI. Oh, and let’s not forget so many bonus rounds that came in without any warning : fatigue, diarrhea, constipation, bloating, and nausea or even fainting. Yep, it’s a whole mood, and absolutely the worst worst worst kind.

Diagnosis of Endometriosis :

Getting diagnosed isn’t a quick stroll in the park - it’s more like a long, winding road trip with no GPS. On average, women wait a whopping seven to ten years  for someone to finally say, “Hey, this is endometriosis.” Yup, you heard that right. Between doctors brushing off symptoms as "just bad periods" and the ongoing stigma around women’s health, it's like trying to solve a mystery no one even believes is real.

But wait, there’s one more challenge attached! Endo symptoms love to play dress-up as other conditions, making it tricky to spot. And, spoiler alert, there’s no easy-peasy test for it. It’s usually a whole saga of steps: doctors quizzing you about your pain, checking for cysts and scars, countless tests and then, for the grand finale, a surgical procedure that lets them actually look inside your abdomen.

Treatment for Endometriosis :

When it comes to treating endometriosis, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but there are plenty of options to explore. Treatment typically starts with pain management through over-the-counter pain relievers, which can help ease those nasty cramps. And if things get super serious, doctors might recommend surgery to remove that pesky endometrial tissue or even a hysterectomy for a more permanent fix.

But, why am I telling you all this?

You might be thinking, “Okay, if there are solutions, isn’t this something only doctors should handle? Why am I reading this?” Well, it’s a bit of a yes and no situation.

Here’s the deal : women with endometriosis aren’t just battling some annoying cramps; they’re facing years of pain, frustration, and the feeling of being totally misunderstood. The diagnosis, like you heard, is like a wild goose chase – hopping from doctor to doctor and often left in the dark without answers. They hear stuff like, “Oh, it happens to a lot of girls” or “That’s just how periods are!” On those heavy flow days, they’re hit with comments - “Oh, it’s just your hormones acting up!” So many of my girlies don’t even talk about the extreme pain during sex because hey, our lovely ladies do not want to disappoint their partner.

It affects everything -from women’s daily grind to their sexy time and all the moments in between. That’s why you and I need to talk about it. That’s why, we need to hear them :

Avantika, Kochi :

"I remember when it all started - my periods were crazy heavy and painful for 12 years. I was battling heavy bleeding, iron deficiency, and more, all on my own. It seriously messed with my entire body and mental health. In the last three years, the pain became unbearable, making it hard to function. After years of advocating for myself, I finally got diagnosed with endometriosis.

What frustrates me most is how just like me, women’s pain gets dismissed. We’re told to just suck it up or that it’s 'normal period pain.' This mindset delays diagnosis for years - not just treatment but even recognizing what we’re going through. That disregard can steal years of your life, and it’s infuriating."

Vinal, Kolkata :

"I feel this constant guilt for wanting to protect the intimacy I have with my boyfriend, so I often stay quiet about the pain during sex. Most of the time, I find myself going through the motions, forcing my mind to focus on anything but the discomfort that’s taking over. It’s as if I have to detach my mind from my body just to push through, and that emotional distance leaves me feeling even more isolated. It’s tough to connect with my partner when my body seems to be waging a war against me, making every moment of intimacy feel like a struggle rather than the closeness I crave."

Krisha, Mumbai :

"I’ve missed so much - school, college, work, and social events - all because of my symptoms. It’s heartbreaking to be that person who’s always unwell. I recently had to skip an event I was super excited about because I got too sick. During a family holiday, I was hit with such excruciating pain that we had to miss an entire day of activities. Honestly, more than the pain itself, I hate missing out on doing the things I love with the people I love.”

Ojaswita, Delhi :

"Since I started to understand my body and the world around me, I’ve always dreamed of being a mom. But now, the worry of infertility looms over me every single day. I scroll through social media and see reels of children, and it hits me. I feel defeated, wondering if I’ll ever experience that joy. The thought that my body might not let me bring my own child into this world is a heavy weight to carry. I long for the chance to nurture a little one and create a family filled with love, yet the uncertainty of my condition makes that dream feel so far out of reach."

Saroj, Mumbai :

“I crave intimacy, but my body just won’t cooperate. It’s such a struggle. I feel like I’ll let anyone with me down, and that’s honestly the hardest part. That’s why I haven’t even thought of being with someone for a long, long time. I want to share that closeness, but my body’s rebellion creates a barrier that feels impossible to overcome. I do not want to be a burden.”

Aashita, Ahemdabad :

“I miss the thrill of spontaneous sex. Now, every moment feels like it has to be meticulously planned around how my body is feeling, and even then, it’s still a gamble. That carefree connection we used to have has vanished, replaced by this constant calculation. I have to check in with myself to see if it’s a ‘good pain day’ before we can even think about making out. Endometriosis has stolen the spontaneity from our relationship, leaving me with this nagging fear that even if I feel okay, the pain could crash in at any moment. I just want to enjoy the moment without all this worry!”

Breaking the ‘shush’ around Endometriosis :

But what can you do? Babe, a lot! First things first, level up your knowledge game. Dive in - read up, listen up. Understanding endo makes you the ultimate support squad for your friends. Or your friend’s friend. Or your future flatmate. Or your friend’s mom.

We also gotta remember that a person is SO much more than just their pain. Endometriosis is just a chapter in their story, not their whole life. Your girls are filled with dreams, laughter and fun. While you’re their shoulder, don’t forget to also be their hype squad.

And most importantly - let’s turn down the whispers and crank up the volume on these convos! Tell your friend about endometriosis. If they meet someone who’s struggling, they can drop some knowledge and help that person get the early diagnosis they deserve.

Tell the girls in your life to recognize that they don’t have to just brush off their pain as ‘normal’ stuff we all deal with. It’s time to break that cycle! Share these women’s experiences with someone. Just talk about it, and talk about it a lot! 

Also, check out our blogs on Understanding slow sex and beginners guide to pegging to improve your knowledge of sexual health.

.About the Author:

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.