Today’s blog advice on how to amp up your sex life with Aunt Sassy : Peg, peg, peg, peg, peg!!!

Butt, what’s pegging, you ask?

Pegging is one of the spiciest sexual rides you can try. It is usually when the person without a dick straps on a dildo and slides into the butthole of someone with a dick.

Butt, why do this?

A. It feels so good for the receiver :

Pegging can make the one with a D feel like they've hit the big O jackpot. Why? Because of the glorious prostate gland, aka the "P-spot." This lil' gland makes that juicy ejaculatory fluid and, when stimulated just right, it can unlock a new level of pleasure. Penetration from behind hits this sweet p-spot, promising an orgasm so intense you'll be seeing stars. The P-spot's got your back here, literally. Here’s a fun blog to learn more about the P-spot.

B. It feels physically amazing for the giver too!

For the giver, it’s a whole vibe too! The base of the dildo can press oh-so-perfectly against your clit, giving the ‘oh-my-god’ sensation. The motion is like the ultimate dry hump, bringing yummy feels. Pegging pleasure is a two-way street, babe!

C. It’s a plot twist : 

Pegging is the ultimate game-changer for hetero pairs. Usually, it’s always the same partner who does the penetrating while the other gets penetrated. But with pegging, you flip that script like the biggest plot twist ever. It's a fresh, thrilling way to connect that’s emotionally and psychologically fab for both of you.

D. Walk in your partner’s shoes :

Hey, lovebirds - pegging isn’t just about the kink, it's a total empathy boost. The one with the D gets a taste of what it’s like to be penetrated, understand why warm-up and lube are key. Meanwhile, the one with the V gets why their partner gets all revved up and speeds up the pace. It’s like stepping into each other’s shoes and feeling what your partner feels - literally!

So, how do I tell my partner that I wanna try this?

Alright, bestie, don’t just whip out the strap-on and go for it when the mood strikes. You gotta plan ahead and ease into the convo. There are chill ways to bring it up without sending your partner into shock mode.

Try something like this -

So your partner's now on board? Yasss! 

But don’t stop there, dive deep into the details. Are you vibing with a passionate, slow-music-makeout sesh, or are we talking straight to the handcuffs? Discuss the positions you wanna try, especially if it’s your first rodeo. And don’t forget the safe word, hun. Communication is key to making this experience amazing for both of you..

Now, what supplies will you need?

First things first, you’ll need the supplies - harness (to strap the dildo on), a dildo, and a TON of lube!

You can snag a harness and dildo as a set or go for individual pieces. I say go for the latter to mix and match your faves. The giver gets to choose the harness style - underwear or strap-on - since they’ll be rocking it. The receiver can pick a dildo they’re dying to get inside them, whether it's textured, standard, or super lifelike.

Also, do not forget lots of lube. Your anus isn’t self-lubricating like a vagina. Lack of lube can cause friction, irritation, and major ouchies. So, grab DTF lube before you start. And whatever amount you think you’ll need? Just double it, babe.

PS : shopping for supplies together? It’s hella fun and a great way to bond. Ready, set, shop and play!

How to actually do it?

You’ve talked it all out, got the supplies, and your setup is on point. What’s next?

First, get turned on! Arousal is key for all kinds of sex, but especially for anal. Do all the hanky-panky you can think of and feel comfy with. Pro tip: wait until your partner has an orgasm before heading to the butt. This leaves the whole body relaxed, making it perfect for butt play.

Now, let's ease into the anal area. Start by massaging around the outside of the butt, gently working the anus muscles. When your partner's feeling relaxed and ready, slide in a well-lubed finger.

Next, gently thrust your finger in and out to gauge the receiver's comfort level. You can also try smaller sex toys or butt plugs for this step. Another option is to use just the tip of the dildo to see how the receiver responds. Check in often and make sure everyone's feeling good!

For the position, a fab way to start is with the receiver on top. This way, they can control depth and speed. And for the giver, watching someone ride them instead of being the one in the one that always rides? Wow.

Hot tip: Don’t forget the dirty talk! Picture saying : “You were born to take my cock,” even if you don’t have one. This is an opportunity to take charge like nothing else, so don’t waste it!

Another way to amp up pegging? Add in BDSM and some more power play. Close your eyes and imagine a blindfold while you’re being pegged, or some restraints! Just remember, maybe save this for when you’ve both got some experience under your belt. Stay spicy, but stay safe babe.

REMINDERS :

A. Never forget the aftercare -

Aftercare is crucial for all kinds of play, especially pegging. For many receivers , it’s the first time something is entering through their rear end, it’s a completely new experience, something their body has never felt before, emotionally or physically. Always check in with your partner to see how they're feeling and if they enjoyed the ride. Ask if they'd like it different next time - harder or slower? And hey, grab them a glass of water too.

If your partner’s booty is sore (which I hope isn’t the case if you’ve used enough water based lube gel), getting an ointment that heals tissues faster is a good idea.

B. It’s not how it looks in porn.

You stumbled upon pegging in porn, huh? While I’m glad that you found some inspiration to give it a shot, stay away from using porn as a manual on how to do it and how it would make you feel.

Porn will never show you the real deal: the foreplay, the buildup, the lube stash, or the crucial communication. Trust me, skipping these steps is a recipe for disaster and major discomfort. Plus, they’re actors - pros with tons of practice. Not to forget, porn only dishes out selective snippets, not the full story. Your manual should be this guide and not the dirty cinema :)

C. No, it doesn’t make you or your partner gay :

Let's bust this myth once and for all: pegging has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. The fear that if you want to receive anal might mean you’ll want an IRL penis very soon or are already on the path to being gay is outdated and just plain wrong. Wanting to explore anal play, whether you're giving or receiving, has nothing to do with your identity. It's about pleasure, trust, and having a damn good time. So, shake off those misconceptions and dive into what feels right for you and your partner. You do you, boo!

D. A D for the first time?

Alright, first-timer : guys have been using their junk forever. For you, strapping on and stepping into a new role might feel a bit strange at first. But guess what? Practice makes perfect! Try wearing your harness solo, move around a bit, make sure it fits just right. Getting comfy with your gear beforehand means when you’re ready to peg, you’ll feel like a natural. Own it, experiment, and enjoy the ride.

E. Hygieneee :

The chances of poop making an appearance are super slim. Poop hangs out in the colon, and you have to voluntarily push it out from here. The action's happening in your anal canal. A little residue from your last time is likely though, especially if you skipped your prep.

So, here’s what you do: take a shower a few hours before to freshen up. Try using a jet spray close to your backdoor,  fill it with as much water as you can, and once you feel you can’t hold the jet spray anymore, let go! Repeat this until you feel squeaky clean. This rinses out any leftover bits and leaves you feeling fresh for your pegging adventure. Hygiene? Check

F. The STI risk :

Pregnancy is usually not a risk, but the STI’s will never leave our ass. This is because STIs can spread through body fluids and even skin-on-skin contact, depending on the kind of STI it is.

Play it safe: if you haven't had a recent test, slap a condom on that dildo. Switch the condom up if you switch roles, and always give the harness a good wash after each use.

Before I say tata, I want to share what a pegging tidbit I found on Reddit: “Now, I don't know if I would dare say that most women do, but a decent percentage do and it's certainly a much greater percentage than most people think. How does it make me feel? Well multiple ways, I would say powerful, that’s easily the most accurate way to put it. I also enjoy the sense of equality in it, I get to make him have a taste of what he makes me feel in bed and he gets to feel what it's like to be in my position. I love how genuinely vulnerable it makes him feel, so I enjoy the power trip in it.”

At the bottom of the day, remember this: your booty, your call. Pegging might sound thrilling and wild, but if it’s not your jam, that’s totally cool. No pressure. There are tons of other ways to explore pleasure and give it too. Do what feels right for you.

And if you do decide to give this a shot, I hope you have fun. It can be a really life-changing thing in your relationship. It’s a journey that can shift how you see yourself, your partner, and sex itself. Go, make butt-tastic memories together!

Also check out our blogs on - sex drive and different sex positions.

About the Author:

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.