The female G-spot is like a perpetual debate. Does it exist? Is it a myth? Everyone's got an opinion backed by studies or pure scepticism. But while people are busy settling this age-old question, let's put the spotlight on something you might not have heard much about, or what might be a whole new world for many of you—the male G-spot.
Now, if you've been in the dark about this particular pleasure point, like me, don't fret. It's quite common, especially among cis-het men, to have little awareness of it. And let's be clear: simply desiring a bit of extra pleasure in your 🍑 region doesn't suddenly redefine your sexual orientation.
I was once seeing a bisexual man who had quite a bit of experience. One day, he told me about the male G-spot, and pardon my ignorance, I almost thought he was kidding. He explained that he discovered it during one of his encounters with another man and how it was an exciting revelation. Naturally, I wondered, do straight men have a chance of never finding it?
Many straight men haven't explored the male G-spot. Well, there's this prevailing misconception that prostate play is solely for gay or queer men, often through anal stimulation. But here's the reality check: Anyone, irrespective of their sexual preferences, can and absolutely should explore prostate pleasure. And you know what? It doesn't always entail delving into that particular area, and it's certainly not exclusive to queer experiences.
So where is the male G-spot located?
The "male G-spot," also known as the P-spot, resides within the prostate gland. This walnut-sized gland, highly sensitive in nature, sits behind the penis and has a plethora of nerve endings, making it an exquisite target for pleasure. While it's most easily accessed through the rectum, it responds wonderfully to delicate stimulation, whether by fingertips or purpose-built devices like prostate massagers (often referred to as male G-spot vibrators).
Contrary to popular belief, accessing the prostate isn't as daunting as it may seem. Wondering about its depth? Well, it's approximately three-quarters of a finger length inside the anus and has a texture akin to a walnut. Once you locate it, you'll encounter a gentle resistance and a surge of heightened sensitivity that reverberates throughout your body. Trust me, you'll know when you've hit the jackpot (as told me by my male friends who have explored it).
Despite popular interest, the topic of male multiple orgasms has received surprisingly little scientific attention. The role of ejaculation and the physiological changes during the refractory period in inhibiting multiple orgasms have rarely been studied. Therefore, there is also a significant lack of reliable and scientific information on prostate stimulation.
“The scientific study of orgasm has always been challenging,” says Dr R. Levin, a researcher at the University of Sheffield in the United Kingdom. “Those induced by prostate stimulation have been ignored. We have just started the journey on its discovery road.”
How can you explore G spot?
Well, fingers are definitely one way, but if the thought feels a tad intimidating, there are so many avenues, like male G-spot vibrators (which, let's be real, can simply be any gender-neutral vibrator—no judgement here) or dildos. They provide a straightforward means to access your prostate, especially if you're doing it on your own. With a variety of shapes and sizes available, opt for one that's gently curved and offers a secure grip. Of course, don't discount the good ol' finger—whether it's yours or a partner's, it's equally effective in hitting the spot.
Our insertion-based vibrators like the Flex internal and external massager and Candy mini handheld massager can be used for backdoor fun. Given Flex's slender massage head, it's easier to explore penetration in a non-intimidating way. It's designed to deliver targeted stimulation. The Candy Massager comes with an ergonomic grip. This will make sure you have complete control over insertion and it won't get lost inside.
Of course, we highly recommend the use of loads of lube (our DTF lube is all-natural and water-based, compatible with Flex & Candy massager). In terms of safety and hygiene, please make sure you wash the toy after using it anywhere else inside or on the body.
Doing it with a partner
When exploring a prostate orgasm with a partner, communication is your best friend. Start by discussing boundaries, comfort levels, and any previous experiences. Trust and consent are key here. Use plenty of lube—seriously, you can't have too much. Go slow and steady; the prostate is sensitive, and rushing can lead to discomfort. Try different positions to see what feels best. And don’t be afraid to laugh! Exploring new territory should be fun, not stressful. A thoughtful partner can bring a new dimension of connection and intimacy, so keep an open mind and enjoy the journey together.
Doing it on your own for the first time? No problem, you’ve got this! First, set the mood and get comfortable. Relaxation is important, so take your time with some deep breaths or a warm bath. Use a generous amount of lube and start with gentle, exploratory touches. Whether you're using a finger or a prostate massager, go slow and listen to your body. Experiment with different angles and pressures to find what feels best. And hey, this is your time—there’s no rush. Enjoy discovering what works for you and remember that patience and practice are part of the process.
Based on various articles I've read and people I spoke to (since, as a woman, my personal experience is non-existent), there are a few key tips to keep in mind for a fun and enjoyable session.
Before you dive into any anal play or mutual masturbation, let’s get the basics covered. Wash your hands thoroughly before and after to keep things clean and avoid spreading any bacteria. After your play session, give your hands another good wash. Starting with a finger is a smart move until you or your partner feels comfortable with prostate play. Fingers are typically smaller and offer more control than toys. For a smooth experience, trim your nails and consider wearing a glove, finger cot, or condom over your finger. Trust me, you’ll appreciate the extra precaution.
Lube up, people! Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't self-lubricate, so lube is non-negotiable for a comfy prostate massage. If you’re using your finger, a silicone-based lube is awesome because it lasts longer and is thicker. But if you’re using a silicone toy, go for water-based lube to avoid degrading your toy. Apply lube around the anus and inside—it’s a perfect addition to your foreplay. When you or your partner feels ready, add more lube to your finger or toy before insertion.
Also, do not forget to wash your toys after a good session before using anywhere else on the body! Why should you wash your prostate toys after exploration? Simple: cleanliness is next to sexiness! Keeping your toys squeaky clean prevents any unwanted bacteria from crashing your next pleasure party. Plus, you wouldn’t reuse a dirty plate, so why settle for anything less with your intimate gadgets? Give them a good wash, and they’ll be ready to deliver mind-blowing fun every time!
Take it slow and start with some external stimulation by massaging the area between the anus and testicles (the perineum). This is a fantastic way to get you or your partner excited before moving on to penetration. Once you begin, ease into it and give the body at least thirty seconds to adjust to the finger inside. After the receiver feels relaxed, start experimenting with different techniques like varied motion, tapping, circular strokes, or applying pressure without moving.
Exploring prostate orgasms can open up a whole new world of pleasure and intimacy, whether on your own or with a partner. Remember, communication, patience, hygiene and plenty of lube are your best friends on this journey. Don’t rush the experience—enjoy the process of discovering what feels good for you. Happy exploring! For more tips on enhancing your intimate experiences, check out our blog on how to be sexually dominating.
About the author:
Disha (she/her) believes she's half therapist because people spill their guts to her with ease. But for now, she's writing sassy pieces on the internet about all things fun and pop culture. With a flair for wit and a curious spirit, she is all about digging into the saucy details of human intimacy.
