Your crush has called you over for a coffee. After hours of flirty convo and sneaky hand touches, things are getting seriously steamy. He leans in for the kiss and you're all in. It’s a fireworks-exploding-in-your-head kinda kiss. He asks if you wanna enter the bedroom, and you are grinning thinking about how badly you have been waiting for this moment.

Things are HOT, both of you are hungry for each other. You’re not stopping the kisses even as you strip. You're SO ready to take it to the next level. But hold up, there's a tiny hiccup – you're wet, but not quite enough for a smooth entry.

You’re thinking, "No biggie, I've seen this in porn – saliva to the rescue!" Sorry to put the brakes on your sexy time, but girl, you need to pause. Using spit as lube? Big No. Let me spit on why this is a terrible idea :

1. What’s the problem with Spit?

Saliva feels like a natural way of lubrication, but trust me, it’s the worst idea ever.

First off, using your partner’s saliva as lube is basically playing STI roulette. If your partner, by any chance, has an active herpes lesion in the mouth, it could easily give you genital herpes. The herpes in the mouth can be present with sores or blisters, but don’t get mistaken, it can also be chilling in your mouth without any symptoms at all and be an invisible threat.

And babe, that's not the only STI you could catch. Using spit can also spread gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV, and a whole lineup of other STIs straight to your genitals.

And that’s not all. Even if you dodge the STI bullet, you can still catch a nasty vaginal infection. This happens because the bacteria in your mouth are super different from the bacteria in your vagina. Saliva is packed with bacteria and enzymes that break food down, and when these bacteria reach your vagina, they disturb your vaginal microbiomes. This creates the possibility of catching a bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection.

And even if we ignore the whole STI and infection nightmare, spit is just not cutting it as a lubricant. It’s actually more watery than slippery. It dries faster than you blink and will not last long enough to decrease the friction during penetration, which means you’re still gonna end up with irritation

Okay, we geddit. No saliva. So, you're thinking, "Maybe I'll just grab some coconut oil. I mean, I read somewhere online that it's a decent lube alternative."

Hold up, babe! Sorry to rain on your steamy parade again, but here’s a reality check: most of those so-called "good" lube alternatives you find on the internet are actually doing more harm than good. So, before you reach for that coconut oil, let’s talk about why it’s not the savior you think it is.

2. The trouble with oils :

Any kind of oil - whether it’s mineral, coconut oil or olive, can mess with or break down latex condoms. This means higher chances of pregnancy or contracting an STI. Yikes!

And, there's more. Using oils down there can lead to a yeast infection. And let's not forget, oil is a nightmare to clean off your sheets and can even ruin your favorite toys. So, oils are definitely not your friend in the bedroom! 

3. Well, vaseline would be okay, right?

Nope! You might think Vaseline is a good idea because it’s slippery and stays on the skin for quite some time. While that is true, we don’t realize that vaseline is made from petroleum jelly, which is an oil based substance. So, it brings all the oil-related problems we just talked about – weakening or breaking of condoms, damaging your toys and turning your sheets into a greasy mess.  It’s great for your lips, babe, but let's keep it there.

4. Fine, can I then use some lotion atleast?

All lotions are packed with some kind of chemicals or perfumes or both. Your vulva and vagina are super sensitive, and exposing them to these ingredients is a big fat no.

Now that you know what to avoid, here’s what you should be using: an actual proper lubricant, duh! I highly recommend going for a water-based lubricant to avoid all the issues we just talked about. There are tons of options out there, but let me spill the tea on my fave - DTF water based lube gel. It was the first lubricant I ever tried, and I’ve never looked back. I’ve recommended it to my closest friends, and I’m recommending it to you too!

And there are tons of reasons why I recommend this India’s first all-natural lube! It's specifically designed to tackle all the issues we talked about. All the ingredients are plant-based, and you can check the entire list on the back. It’s pH balanced for your vagina and has zero artificial flavors, fragrances, colors, or dyes. It’s 100 percent pure body love!

But what about your hot, steamy moment that we had paused? You’re already with your crush in the bedroom, and don’t have DTF with you. What do you do now?

Well, try taking penetrative sex off the table for this time. Oral sex is a lot of fun, and so is just playfully kissing and making out like teenagers. Pick up the sex toy on your stand and go crazy. Hopefully, you will still have a great time and make sure to keep a bottle of the lubricant around for the next time. Besties - the viberator and the lubricant, and you and me :)

Also check out our blogs on - what is sex drive and different sex positions

About the Author:

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.