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When going down isn't so great: What's up dude?

When going down isn't so great: What's up dude?

"What’s up with me? I’m a dude - I should be crushing it in bed, right?"
Oh, we hear you! When things go awry in the bedroom, it’s like your manhood’s been hit with a triple whammy. Patriarchy’s got this gun on your head, “you must be a sex god 24/7” vibe, or you’re toast.

Video gif. A small toddler with wild blonde, curly hair slumps sadly onto the side of a bed and lays her hand onto her arm, clearly sad and tired.

But hey, let’s ditch that nonsense. We’re here to drop that drama and get real. Today, we’re diving into those male sexual hiccups - because it happens to everyone. So, kick back, relax, and let’s debunk the myth that you have to be a bedroom superhero all the time.

Types of Sexual Problems in Men :

  1. Erectile Dysfunction (ED): This one’s got a bit of a rep, so let’s get into it. Erectile Dysfunction is when you’re just not able to rise to the occasion, literally. You’re into it, the mood is right, but things downstairs aren’t cooperating. It’s like trying to start a car on an empty tank. Frustrating? You bet. Embarrassing? Only if you let it be. It’s actually one of the most common sex problems in men, and can happen to anyone.

  2. Premature Ejaculation (PE): Imagine getting hyped for a movie, only for the credits to roll right as the plot thickens. That’s PE - everything’s moving at lightspeed, and you’re hitting the finish line before the race even starts. It’s a total buzzkill, we get it. But hey, it’s not the end of the world. This is one of those ejaculation problems that’s common but often misunderstood. No need to stress, we’ll tell you about all your options in just a bit.

  3. Low Libido: We all have those days where we’re more “meh” than “yeah!”. But if your sex drive has taken a permanent vacation, you might be dealing with low libido, which another one of the typical male sex problems. This isn’t just about being tired or not in the mood, but a chronic lack of interest in sex that can leave you (and maybe your partner) scratching your heads.

  4. Delayed Ejaculation: Here’s one that doesn’t get talked about as much. Delayed ejaculation is when you’re in the moment, you’re there, but you’re not quite there, yk what I mean? You’re enjoying yourself, but the climax seems to take forever. It can be frustrating and can even lead to avoiding sex altogether. Another less discussed male sex problem, but one that’s still a reality for many.

  5. Performance Anxiety: You’re in your head, overthinking every move, and suddenly your body’s just not playing ball. Maybe you’re worried about not being enough, or maybe you’re just putting too much pressure on yourself. Whatever the reason, anxiety can seriously mess with your game, making it a big contributor to male performance issues.

While these are the most common sex problems in men, there are also wildcards - the issues that don’t surface commonly but are very much possible. Take Peyronie’s Disease, for example. This is when scar tissue or a buildup of collagen causes your penis to bend or curve during an erection. It might sound like something out of a weird science fiction movie, but it’s very real and can cause pain, discomfort, and make sex difficult or even impossible.

Causes of Male Sexual Problems :

So, what’s stirring the balls and causing all these sex problems in men? Let’s get down (hehe) to it:

  • Stress and Anxiety: Stress is that uninvited guest who crashes every party and ruins the mood. When you’re stressed, your body goes into overdrive, pumping out cortisol - a hormone that can zap your energy and tank your sex drive. And anxiety? It's stress’s sneaky sidekick, making you overthink everything until your body decided, "Nope, not today." This deadly pro max combination is a massive trigger for many male sex problems.

  • Health Issues: Your physical health and sexual health are linked like peanut butter and jelly - one can’t really thrive without the other. Conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and even obesity can all have a direct impact on your sexual performance. These health issues mess with blood flow, hormones, and nerves, which are all key players when it comes to keeping things up and running and preventing male erectile disorder.

  • Medications: Ever read the fine print on your medication? It’s full of all sorts of side effects that nobody really talks about. Whether you’re on meds for depression, high blood pressure, or even allergies, some of them can make things go south in the bedroom. We’re talking lower libido, trouble getting an erection, and other fun stuff you didn’t sign up for. These medications can add to sex problems in men, affecting performance in your bang bang.

  • Lifestyle Choices: Your body is like a reflection of how you treat it - so if you’re puffing away on cigs, chugging drinks, munching on junk, and dodging the gym, don’t be surprised if things aren’t popping off in the bedroom. Smoking, for instance, shrinks your blood vessels, while too much alcohol can mess with your nerves and slow you down. And that junk food? It’s more likely to leave you feeling lazy and low on energy, contributing to male sex problems.

  • Emotional Baggage: Carrying around emotional baggage is like dragging a suitcase full of bricks - it’s only a matter of time before it slows you down. Whether it’s past trauma, relationship drama, or just feelings you haven’t dealt with, all that stuff can creep into your sex life, making everything from getting in the mood to performing feel like an uphill battle.

Symptoms of Sexual Dysfunction :

Your body will send you some not-so-subtle signals that ejaculation problems are around the corner. You might notice your erections aren’t as firm as they used to be, or maybe they’re tapping out halfway through the action. If your morning wood’s gone MIA, that could be a red flag too, hinting at some nerve or blood flow issues. On the flip side, maybe you’re finishing way too quickly, like blink-and-it’s-over fast, leaving both you and your partner a bit dazed. Whatever the case, if things start to feel more like a confusing detour than a smooth ride more than once in a while, it’s probably time to hit up a doc and get the scoop on what’s going on.

Season 1 Doctor GIF by Friends

When to Seek Medical Attention :

Alright, so when do you go from “this is annoying” to “I need to see a doctor”? If these sex problems are sticking around almost everytime things get steamy and mess with your quality of life, it’s definitely time to make that appointment. There’s no shame in reaching out for help - in fact, it’s the smart thing to do.

Treatment Options :

Now, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of how to tackle these male sex problems. And my pretty boy, don’t worry, there’s more than one way to fix things.

If ED or PE are totally harshing your vibe, don’t sweat it. There’s a pharmacy aisle full of options like Viagra, Cialis, and some new stuff that might suit you better. These bad boys boost blood flow and slow down the sprint to the finish line, giving you the control back. But honey, please check in with your doc first!

But it’s not all about pills - sometimes the real fix is in your head. Therapy can seriously flip the script if anxiety, stress, or relationship drama is behind your sex struggles. And don’t sleep on couples therapy either—it can help if your relationship is part of the issue, or even causing the issue in the first place.

Season 2 Episode 12 Nbc GIF by Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist

Also, making a few tweaks to your lifestyle can have a huge impact on your sexual health. Quitting smoking, cutting back on alcohol, eating a balanced diet, and getting regular exercise can all improve your libido and performance. Tackling male sex problems with lifestyle improvements is about feeling good from the inside out.

Okay, I gotta go write another sex ed piece for y’all, but before that, here’s a final reminder : Sexual hiccups happen to everyone, but instead of seeing them as flaws, treat them like little reminders that you’re human. This journey is about reclaiming your power, not proving it :)

Before you go, remember, spicing things up doesn’t have to be a solo mission. Whether you’re looking for sex toys, vibrators, or male vibrators to add a little extra fun to your routine, we’ve got you covered. Shop with us and keep the good vibes rolling!

Also, check out our blogs on premature ejaculation and how to edge like a pro to improve your knowledge on sex

FAQs on sex problems in men:

Are ejaculation problems common?

Yup, ejaculation problems are super common! You’re not alone in this babe, it happens to a lot of guys.

What lifestyle changes can help with male sexual problems?

Ditch the cigs, cut back on booze, hit the gym, and swap junk food for something healthier - your sex game will thank you!

When should I see a doctor about sexual issues?

If your sexual problems are sticking around more than just a one time thing and messing with your quality of life, it’s time to call in the pros.

Can psychological factors affect sexual performance?

Absolutely - stress, anxiety, and even relationship drama can totally mess with your rizz in the bedroom.

What treatments are available for low libido?

From lifestyle upgrades and therapy to meds and hormone treatments, there’s a whole toolkit for tackling low libido. But my friend, check in with your doctor first!

Is it normal to experience sexual problems at any age?

Yep, sexual problems can hit at any age. There’s no need to freak out, it’s just part of being human!

About the Author:

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry. 

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