“How I love the way you take your T shirt off”

“Oh, how your body feels against mine right now”

“I want to feel your cum all over my face.”

Started feelin’ hot and heavy already, didn't you? And that’s just from reading these lines. Imagine hearing this from your partner, while you’re naked and all over each other. What will that do to you?

Understanding Dirty Talk:

Think about why the lines you just read turn you slightly on. Or why does a scandalously steamy scenario playing out in your mind make you feel something? Our brain is truly the most powerful sex organ - and dirty talking i.e. using words to turn someone on, is its ultimate foreplay. A few cheeky words can get your brain firing on all cylinders, priming you for some serious action.

The benefits list of dirty talking is really long. As you dish out your dirtiest desires, you're tuned into your partner's turn-ons. If you see someone getting turned on by something you said, chances are they'll love it in bed too. If they're not feeling it, then it's probably not their thing. You can use these cues to figure out what really revs your partner’s engine.

The more you get into a sexy talking groove, the more you start getting comfortable in the act itself - making your moments wayy hotter.

Sexy talk is also about being totally present in the moment. Sometimes our mind is still wondering about how we look naked or what's for dinner. But when your partner whispers sweet (or spicy) nothings like, "I love licking you here," - you're naturally forced to feel that sensation on you.

Building Comfort and Communication:

Dirty talking isn't just about being cool with the idea of doing it. Imagine this scenario: your partner really likes using the word ‘pussy’ or ‘fuck’, but that triggers the angry feminist in you. Total buzzkill, right?

To dodge such moments, you can kick off the negotiation in simple ways - “I like being called my little girl or baby when it’s gettin’ spicy. How about you? Got any favorites?” or "You know what gets my heart racing? A vivid description of doggy style done just right. What does that do for you?”

There’s also a fun game you can actually play to explore this. Grab your partner and whip out a list of your body parts. Then, get creative and jot down all the slang words you can think of for those parts. You know, like ‘penis’ could be cock, weiner, dick, and so on. Now, here comes the fun bit : Each of you gets to mark what you're totally into and what's a total turn-off. This will create your own sexy vocab together. Plus, it's a solid way to identify the sweet middle ground for both of you!

Another smooth move to slide into dirty talking is to start with sexy talk on whatsapp. Once you've exchanged naughty chats, diving into dirty talking won't feel half as nerve-wracking. It's like testing the waters with your toes before taking the plunge.

And here’s the last crucial reminder: While verbal consent is key, don't sleep on the non-verbal cues either. Pay attention to subtle signals, like body language. There's a fine line between playful banter and stepping into coercion territory, even with your words.

Exploring the Power of Words:

Once you’ve your partner’s consent, it’s time to spill every detail with gusto.

Remember that words have immense power. Each alphabet describing what you’d like to do can get the brain more and more aroused. So, paint a vivid picture. Don’t just say, “I am gonna spank you.” Talk about how you will start off by caressing their butt, feeling every curve, every inch of skin under your fingertips. Then, talk about how you will move your hand in a teasing motion, and then deliver the spank.

And here's another pro-tip: Instead of just dishing out your desires, throw in how it actually makes you feel. When you say you can't wait to be spanked, talk about how each spank leaves you breathless, hungry for more.

To understand how you can talk better, you can also look for inspiration. If you're hitting up the porn scene, aim for the ethical and feminist stuff to keep things respectful. Here’s a blog I’ve written for you on Ethical Porn alternatives to the mainstream stuff. Additionally, you can also check out erotic fiction. Reading how others spin their steamy tales can spark your own creativity.

Finding Your Dirty Talk Style:

Just like there's no one way to have sex, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to dirty talking either.

You could be the romantic type, whispering sweet nothings. "You're the only one I'll ever want.” Showering your partner with compliments and affirmations is a beautiful way to show love and appreciation as you get intimate.

Or you can be playful and alluring. "I'm dying to see what's under that t-shirt." That’s a cheeky way to add a bit of fun and excitement to the mix.

Then there's the dominant side, the one who takes charge with instructions like, "Put your fingers here and your tongue there."

Another way of dirty talking can be the one that likes your partner's responses. “What would you like me to do baby?” and wait for your partner to lovingly tell you what they like.

Honey, you can also switch between these styles depending on your mood and what floats your boat in the moment. You're not locked into being just one type of dirty talker. Today, you might feel dominant, but tomorrow, you would want to hear your partner's responses. And this versatility is the best way to embrace ever-evolving desires.

Incorporating Dirty Talk into Your Relationship:

Now that we're on board with how important it is, let's also nail it well. 

One killer move is saying your partner’s name. This has the power to make your partner feel that both of you are in this moment together, it’s not just them.

And here’s Aunt Sassy’s favorite tip: let your sexy talk hit all the senses. Describe what you’re feeling - “Your body feels so incredible against mine.” Talk about how things look - “Your lingerie looks so hot but I can’t wait to tear it apart because underneath is even hotter”. Mention the lingering scent of their perfume or their natural fragrance, adding an extra layer of sensuality to the experience. And don’t forget about taste. Tell them how you could devour them for every meal. And that sound? The smack of your hand against their butt? Pure music to your ears.

Navigating Boundaries and Comfort Levels:

Getting the hang of dirty talk doesn't happen overnight, so cut yourself some slack, okay? First things first, ditch the pressure. Dirty talk is like a mixtape of understanding—language, consent, what you and your partner dig and so much more. So don't stress if you don't have all the right words by day two.

Rather than dodging the awkwardness in the beginning, own it. Getting too hung up on sounding perfect can squash your mood. Just roll with expressing your feelings to your partner, even if it gets a bit clumsy. Awkward and silly? Totally normal, and honestly, kinda cute.

And here's the golden ticket: communicate. Bring it up over lunch the next day. Ask your partner how they felt about it, what hit the spot—or missed it. Communication is key, my friend. Everytime, Everywhere.

Exploring role play and Fantasies:

Just when you think you’ve understood the power dirty talking has, you’ll realize that it is also the secret sauce that brings all wild, impossible-to-act-out fantasies to life. You can describe what you’d do if you two were on a deserted island. Tips for phone sex include creating any elaborate scenarios and talking about them, in and out (hehe).

Dirty talking actually gives wings to all kinds of role-play adventures. Whether you’re a doctor or a prisoner or a couple sneaking out of a party - what you say in these moments make the picture feel real. These words are the magic ticket that transports you into each role-play world you've dreamt up.

You now know how to make your next ride - whether it’s an after-office quickie, long hot shower sex or your fantasy - an unforgettable one.  The next time you’re all over each other, skin touching skin, just remember - there’s more to do with your tongue than just lick! 

P.S. Incorporating sex toys can add even more excitement to your experience.

FAQs on Dirty talking:

What is dirty talk, and why is it important in a relationship?

Dirty talking is using explicit words to amp up the sexual excitement before and during the action. It's got plenty of perks, but the top ones are boosting pleasure and building comfort with your partner.

How can I initiate dirty talk with my partner?

Communication and consent are your BFFs here. Chat with your partner about your interest in sexy talk outside the bedroom first. You can kick things off with something simple like, “I really enjoy dirty talking while making out. How does it make you feel?” This way, you're opening the door to this conversation without pressure.

What if my partner is uncomfortable with dirty talk?

Sometimes, the discomfort comes from societal taboos around sex. Saying certain words out loud can feel awkward or shameful. Have an open chat with your partner to understand what's making them uncomfortable. If they're still not into it, respect their boundaries and don't push it. 

Are there different styles of dirty talk?

Absolutely! You can be romantic, playful, dominant, or the one seeking responses. We all switch between these styles depending on our mood, our partner, and our evolving desires. So, mix it up and find what works best for you both!

How can dirty talk enhance intimacy in a long-distance relationship?

Long-distance relationship sex is perfect for reinventing what "sex" means to you. It helps you see the deeper purpose behind it, expanding its definition beyond just penetration or physical presence. This adds a whole new layer to your intimacy.

What if I feel embarrassed or awkward when talking dirty?

Babe, lots of new things feel awkward at first. But trust me, you'll only get better with practice. Plus, those awkward moments will turn into funny, goofy sex stories to laugh about later. So, just roll with it!

Author Bio :

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.