It’s tough to imagine a life without porn, and in a good way. It's like a rite of passage, right? That instant surge of excitement, that knowing smirk creeping onto your face.
But what if I tell you that there are huge problems with something that pleasures you? What if I tell you that it’s harming you, and a lot of other people?
Let the murky waters harsh reality check begin.
What's the problem, you might ask? Just take a quick peek at mainstream porn, and you'll see a laundry list of issues staring right back at you.
First off, let's talk about one of the major problems : the way it treats women. Porn often caters to the male gaze, reducing women to mere objects performing solely for the pleasure of men. It is often directed by men and frequently demeans women. It perpetuates a dangerous cycle by normalizing violence against women, packaging it as entertainment and selling it as an arousing fantasy. Porn eroticizes the very acts of violence women have been victimized by. There are countless studies that highlight how porn plays a huge role in normalizing violence against women.
And seriously, how much of that stuff even looks genuine? From the longest erections to ridiculously oversized penises, and women cut up to look like dolls - it's like watching an act. This sets wildly unrealistic standards for both men and women, leaving us with a lifetime of body image hang-ups.
Mainstream porn doesn't just stop at distorting bodies; it dehumanizes them too. It bulldozes over individuality and adds a crappy reason to take punishment. In a nutshell, it's like serving up a downgraded version of the beauty and complexity of human sexuality.
The problem doesn’t stop at what you see on screen - it goes deeper. Behind the scenes, there's a dark underbelly of unethical behavior. There are allegations of sexual assault running rampant on porn sets, where the line between fantasy and reality gets dangerously blurred. Actors have come forward with chilling accounts of being coerced into doing things mid-action that they never even signed up for.
And just when you thought that’s too much, there's more. It takes a serious toll on the physical health of the actors. Take Danny Wylde, for instance, who had to bid farewell to his career in the adult film industry after battling priapism—a condition triggered by erectile drugs. Imagine being stuck in a never-ending cycle of medical emergencies, with the looming threat of losing the ability to get it up altogether. And the industry doesn't even bother with health insurance. The actors are left to fend for themselves, paid per scene like it's some kind of twisted freelance gig. It's a precarious tightrope walk, where one wrong move could spell disaster.
So yeah, when it comes to the realities of the porn industry, the plot thickens—and not in a good way this time.
Now, where do we even begin with solving this tangled web of problems? That's where ethical porn swoops in. But before we dive into its heroics, let’s break it down and understand what ethical porn actually is.
Ethical porn is inclusive sex, where performers are the top priority. There’s complete respect for boundaries and consent. No means no, end of story. None of that last-minute, middle-of-the-scene trickery.
Ethical porn platforms also put their money where their mouth is, ensuring performers get their fair share of the pie. Forget exploitation, these platforms prioritize fair compensation through revenue-sharing models that give performers a slice of the action.
Now, how does ethical porn tackle the myriad of issues we've been chatting about? What makes it so darn good? And what else does it have up its sleeve for you?
Let's start with the big question in your pretty mind - if violence and aggression is the problem, does it mean that ethical sex will only be ‘vanilla’? Spoiler alert: not even close. Healthy aggressive sex is totally on the table—as long as it's consensual. However, it ensures that aggression isn't the only thing on the menu; there's a whole lot of before and after too.
There’s another interesting side point to it : because ethical porn is democratized - it evolves and experiments with a lot of different kinds of kinks. It's like the rebellious cousin of mainstream porn, exploring kinks that would make the mainstream blush. It also crushes the myth that women can't enjoy sex as much as men. These women are fierce and unapologetic, flipping outdated gender norms on their head.
It also says a wonderful lovely hello to diversity. Ethical porn showcases bodies of all shapes, sizes, and textures. Cellulite? Stretch marks? Bring it on! This refreshing dose of reality not only makes us feel good about our own bodies but also challenges societal beauty standards with a big, bold middle finger.
And body autonomy, baby! There are no demands to "lose weight" or "shave your pubic hair." Nope, the actors call the shots, embracing their bodies exactly as they are. It's a powerful statement of self-love and acceptance that resonates far beyond the screen.
You also see angles that mainstream porn doesn’t even think of. It’s not robotic graphic closeups of genitals banging into one another. So, what does it show instead? Imagine this: instead of focusing on the genitals during an orgasm, the camera zooms in on the person's face. See how much more relatable and, well, human that feels?
Now, what about the off screen bit? Let me tell you one of the most beautiful things - how ethical porn producers are rewriting the script on industry norms. One of the biggest problems of the mainstream industry is having very young actors who end up encountering porn producers due to financial pressures and then are stuck in the business for a long time. An ethical porn producer will open the eyes of any beginner and talk to them about the lifelong consequences of porn, ensuring they're confident in their choices.
All these on and off-screen goodies can dial up your satisfaction meter to eleven. Ethical porn puts genuine pleasure front and center. It's like a smorgasbord of desires and experiences, showcasing a kaleidoscope of sexual preferences that'll make your head spin (in a good way, of course). With diverse stories and performers, it's like a crash course in understanding your own desires and boundaries. Think of it as a self-discovery masterclass, where each scene opens up a world of possibilities. And the best part? You can enjoy it all knowing that no one is being exploited for what is pleasuring you.
So, where’s it heading now? Another super super cool bit about ethical porn is that a lot of times, the actors get artistic liberty. This means that they do what they feel like doing, but there’s a camera. The filming process becomes part of the thrill, adding an extra layer of titillation to the experience.
Now, I'm pretty sure you're already sold on making this orgasmic switch, but just in case you need a nudge in the right direction, here's where you can find it:
And there’s no way I can forget OnlyFans. This platform has flipped the script on adult content creation, empowering creators to set their own boundaries and monetize their content on their own terms. It's like a digital revolution of pleasure. So go ahead, explore these options, and remember to tip generously.
Babe, let’s get one thing straight - I'm not here to turn you into a saint. I just want you to be as amazing as you are and not compromise on it only to go watch some porn. If the performers feel good, I’ll feel good, you’ll feel good. And isn’t that what sex is about?
Also don't overlook the power of sex toys in enhancing pleasure. Male stroker massagers and female vibrators can revolutionize your sexual experience, offering new sensations and heightened arousal. Incorporating these tools into your intimate moments can amplify pleasure, deepen intimacy and promote sexual wellness. So, why not complement your exploration of ethical porn with the delightful addition of sex toys, and elevate your satisfaction to new heights.
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About the Author :
Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry
