If you caught our last blog on boosting playtime, you might be wondering, "What about those of us who just can’t feel it?" And we're talking to you, penis owners. Society loves to paint this picture of men as always ready to go, with phrases like "men just can't keep it in their pants" tossed around like gospel. Men and sex drive are almost considered synonyms. But let’s talk reality—low libido is a genuine issue that many guys face. It's almost ironic to talk about it given the stereotype, but the fact is, some men simply don’t feel the urge. So, if you're one of those guys wondering where your mojo went, stick around—we’ve got some insights just for you. 

Ever wondered why your sex drive might feel like a roller coaster? You're not alone! Male sex drive is influenced by a cocktail of hormones, lifestyle choices, and mental health. Testosterone, the big T, is the main hormone behind your sex drive. When the T levels are on point, you're likely to feel more interested in sex. With age, it is also normal for a guy’s sex drive to decrease, but does not mean that it's a cause to be worried about. 

“Your libido is only a problem if you’re unhappy with it, says Dr. Bradley Anawalt, a US based endocrinologist specialising in testosterone and male sex drive. “If you think you have a low libido (or a high libido) and are bothered by it, that’s when you should talk with a doctor. (Or if your partner is complaining about your lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom)”, he says about men and sex drive. The libido is much more layered and complex than we think it is. In one of our previous blogs, we have shed light on why you might not be feeling horny anymore. Many of those reasons apply to men as well to understand male libido.

"Men often find that their sexual desire isn't just a simple 'on' or 'off' switch anymore, and that's completely normal," explains Dr. Sharon Bober, director of the Sexual Health Program at Harvard-affiliated Dana-Farber Cancer Center writes about men and sex drive. "It's important for men to adjust their expectations about what's 'normal' for their sex drive and recognise that fluctuations are perfectly okay." 

Just because you used to have sex four times a week and now it's twice doesn't mean you should worry right away. And if you're having sex three times a week but hear a friend bragging about daily sessions, don't let it stress you out. First, figure out if it's really a low male libido issue or just unnecessary comparisons. However, if your frequency drops significantly, like from thrice a week to twice a month, it's worth considering why it's happening. Understanding your own patterns is key to addressing any concerns.

Why do men sex drives decrease?

Okay, let's talk about the not-so-fun stuff: why the male sex drive might take a nosedive? Spoiler alert: it's totally normal and happens to the best of us. Stress, poor diet, lack of exercise, and even too many late-night Netflix binges can mess with your system. According to research, sedentary habits and junk food are major culprits for a guy’s sex drive to take a dip. And don't forget about sleep—less zzz's can mean less oomph in the bedroom. Hormonal imbalances, like low testosterone, can also be a factor. So, if your libido is on a low, maybe it's time to check your lifestyle habits.

Psychological Factors

Let’s get real about the mind-body connection when it comes to a guy’s sex drive. Sometimes, it's not just about the physical; your brain plays a huge role too! Anxiety, depression, and even everyday stress can put a damper on men sex drive. Ever felt too stressed or anxious to even think about sex? You’re not alone. 

 In today's turbo-charged world, our sex lives aren't immune to the chaos. This article in New York Times argues we're so caught up in the rat race that cultivating easy-breezy friendships is becoming a necessity—real connections are a luxury we can't afford. Meanwhile, the Boston Review in this one drops a bomb: capitalism's meddling with our sex drive. They suggest that under the pressure of a capitalist gaze, orgasms can feel like a transaction, with women sometimes faking it to stroke egos. It's like our sex lives are caught in a twisted game of reward and performance, fueling stress and killing the vibe. So when real connections are a luxury and intimacy feels like a transaction, that will naturally somewhere kill your desire to have more sex.

Some studies show that mindfulness and meditation can help reduce anxiety and boost the sex drive of a man. “mindfulness improves body image, sexual self-esteem, and genital self-image. On the other hand, sexual shame, sexual anxiety, and the association between alcohol consumption and sexual assault decreased”, the study quotes. 

How to Increase Male Sex Drive

Now let’s get to the point. What are some practical tips that can help improve the male sex drive? 

Regular physical activity has been shown to improve libido (that one was a no-brainer). A study found that men who engaged in moderate to vigorous physical activity had a lower risk of erectile dysfunction and higher levels of sexual desire.

According to another, regular exercise and a healthy diet can give a guy’s sex drive a serious boost. Yep, those push-ups aren't just for show! Eating right, particularly the Mediterranean diet, loaded with fruits, veggies, and lean meats, can keep things firing on all cylinders. Plus, reducing stress with mindfulness and meditation, as we said earlier, can make a huge difference in improving sex drive of a man.

Fun fact - did you know your gut health and sex drive are interconnected? There are various studies that explore that a healthy gut microbiome, which includes a diverse range of bacteria, can positively impact sexual desire and function.The gut microbiome influences hormone levels and emotional well-being, both of which are crucial for a healthy sex drive of a man. 

An additional strategy is consumption of fermented food–they bolster libido-supportive microbial diversity. So consider adding foods such as kimchi, pickles, and those vinegar-soaked-veggies to your diet.

In a nutshell, hit the gym, eat your greens, and take some chill time. Your libido will thank you!

But what if you’re doing all these things, and it is still not working out in your favour? We suggest you speak to a doctor and take medical intervention, if it is hampering your life.

Medical Treatments and Interventions 

They say that those market pills and tonics help in increasing guys’ sex drive. Science has a mixed response to this. An article in Harvard Health says these might just be marketing promises designed to sell you things.

For example, a 2015 review of top-selling supplements for men's sexual health, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, found little or no evidence to support claims they could improve aspects of sexual performance.

However, medications such as sildenafil (Viagra) and tadalafil (Cialis), falling under Phosphodiesterase Type 5 Inhibitors (PDE5i), are used to treat erectile dysfunction and have been shown to improve libido. 

Another medical intervention is the Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT): TRT is often used to treat men with low testosterone levels, which can contribute to low libido. TRT improves sexual function in men with hypogonadism.

For men whose low sex drive is linked to psychological factors, sex therapy can be beneficial.

Lifestyle and Relationship Tips

What else can men do to improve their sex drive? One tip is to also find new meanings of intimacy with your partner and experiment. The trivialities of life can even make sex feel like a task. 

Dr. Sharon Bober, director of the Sexual Health Program at Harvard-affiliated Dana-Farber Cancer Center suggests focusing on the non-physical side of sex. "Sex and intimacy can mean many things as you age, and focusing more on romance and re-engaging with your partner is a good way to help reignite the sexual spark for both of you”. 

Sara Hunter Murray, a relationship therapist and author of the book, “Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships”, says that men also want to feel desired, as opposed to the conventional opinion. 

“One of the things that stood out very strongly to me throughout my research is that men want to feel desired — they want to feel wanted by their female partner. It’s surprising because it goes against conventional wisdom. We’re so used to seeing women’s bodies being the object of desire. But men were really saying how important it was to feel that those rules were reversed at times. They wanted her to give them a compliment, flirt, seduce or initiate sex.” So talk it out with your partner, if you feel that this might reignite some spark. 

Plan fun dates, communicate openly with your partner about your low sex drive and what experiments can you do in the bedroom to take things on an exciting level. If your partner is understanding and open, I am sure they'll understand and help you find ways to deal with this without any judgement. If you think things are going beyond repair and your sex life is also affecting your relationship, do consider going for therapy. Trust me, there is no shame in it and it's quite common these days.

So first things first – you’re not alone. Low libido is common, and stressing about it only makes things worse. There are plenty of ways to boost your libido, and seeking professional help is always an option. So, don’t be shy! You deserve to enjoy all the pleasure life has to offer.

In addition to lifestyle changes, incorporating sex toys and a male stroker massager can also help boost libido and enhance sexual experiences. 

Also check out our blogs on - what is sex drive and different sex positions

FAQs on male sex drive

What is male sex drive and how is it different from libido?

Male sex drive is the desire for sexual activity, while libido is the overall sexual desire or urge. Basically, they’re the same thing but sometimes used in different contexts.

Can stress really affect a man's sex drive?

Absolutely! Stress can mess with your hormones and mood, making it hard to get in the mood.

Are there any medical treatments for low male libido?

Yes, there are treatments like hormone therapy and medications. Always talk to a doctor to find the right option for you.

How does age affect a man's sex drive?

As men age, testosterone levels drop, which can lower sex drive. But staying healthy can help keep things going strong.

What lifestyle changes can improve a man's sex drive?

Eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and reducing stress can all boost your sex drive. Healthy habits make a big difference!

Is it normal for men to experience fluctuations in their sex drive?

Totally normal! Sex drive can vary due to stress, health, and other life factors. It’s just part of being human.

About the author 

Disha (she/her) believes she's half therapist because people spill their guts to her with ease. But for now, she's writing sassy pieces on the internet about all things fun and pop culture. With a flair for wit and a curious spirit, she is all about digging into the saucy details of human intimacy.