Remember that one unforgettable night or that partner who rocked your world in bed? What lingers in your memory from those encounters? When I started thinking a little about this, I realized that most of the ‘best I’ve had’ was not on how the whole' in-and-out' routine went, but for how their tongue rolled around me. The sheer intensity and the red hot passion that comes with oral sex actually made an experience reach the roof!

That is how much importance oral sex can hold. And yet, we whisper about it. Today, let’s crank up the volume. Whether you’re a rookie or a pro, here’s a friendly guide by That Sassy Thing that’ll help you be the one they think of when asked for their ‘best in bed’.

1. Keep Going When They're Done

When your partner  with a vulva has that toe-curling moment, there's no need to call it a day. In fact, why not kick things up a notch and see if you can give 'em a second dose of fireworks? You’re sending them a message, ‘the party is just getting started baby!’ If your partner has a penis, very lightly stimulate the shaft with your hand or mouth for just a very tiny bit longer. Stay in the moment, there’s no rush to exit.

2. Heat Things Up... and Then Cool 'Em Down

When you're diving into some oral action, pop an ice cube in your mouth to add a cool sensation. Move around for a bit, but don’t stop just yet. After the icy thrills, switch gears and introduce some warm water into the equation. Turn the heat up, keep it up, then cool it again. Find your own drill, or not ;)

3. Other erogenous zones might be missing you

Yes, your tongue is busy but your hands are free! Don’t be afraid to let them wander. Maybe play with their nipples? Give their anus some light strokes? Let’s always keep ‘the more, the merrier’ in mind (and handsss). 

4. A little face-sitting

Ask your partner to press their vulva / penis against your eager lips. This is a playful twist on face-sitting, but without all the sitting. They can then rub your face against themselves, control the pace or adjust the angle to hit that sweet spot. Plus, your hands are now free to squeeze their thighs or even touch your own self!

You can take this one step ahead. If your partner consents, watch them masturbate. They’ll show you what buttons to push and which high notes to hit. 

5. Keep It in the Groove

When you're the one doing the giving, it can sometimes feel like you're navigating uncharted waters. So, find a pace that feels just right and stick to it as you kick things off. Once you've got that sweet rhythm going, you will start feeling confident enough to add some twists and turns. 

6. Jazz Things Up with Some Toys

By now, you might think that I give this tip for anything and everything, but it’s a wow trick, always! Imagine stimulating their clitoris with the LIT intimate massager from That Sassy Thing while you move your tongue around it. Imagine Flex personal massager penetrated inside them while your tongue does the other job! You’ll do yourselves a huge favor by getting a sex toy to join you even while you give oral, trust me. 

7. Switch It Up 

Changing positions can help you explore new territories and ignite fresh sensations for sex, and this bit is no different. Try the Kivin method, which is when your partner's laid back, and you're approaching from the side.This approach brings a brand-new angle, amping up the vulva action and exploring more sensitive zones. Or, you can go for one of the classics : the ‘sit on my face’ way. This style gives an advantageous angle, plus easy access to your partner’s body. Your imagination is the limit, really!

8. Lift the Hip 

All you need is a comfy pillow like UP to slip beneath their hips. This nifty move creates a slight tilt, gently lifting their hips upward, which, in turn, encourages their legs to open just a smidge wider. And guess what? It also unveils a little more of the enticing territory around the anus.

9. Mirror Magic

Place a mirror in a position where the receiver is able to see only their vulva / penis area in the mirror, but in complete focus. They can then look at the mirror and see how your face (and tongue) roller skates across their genitals. A visual stimulus will take the oral game to a new direction.

10. Yes, I gave you all very sexy tricks but remember: safety first, buddy!

A common misconception is that oral sex is a safe haven when it comes to Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), but the truth is a little different. While the risk of transmission is lower compared to other forms of sexual intercourse, let's not forget – oral sex is still, well, sex.

Gonorrhea, genital herpes, and syphilis, can hitch a ride during oral escapades. So, how do you use protection for oral sex? It’s very simple, make a DIY Dental Dam! 

Now that you have these tricks in your pocket, go get your head back in the game *iykyk*

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About the Author 

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.