Let’s get one thing straight: you are the main event.

Not the toy. Not the moaning. Not even the orgasm.
It’s you—stripped down, locked-in, owning every stroke and sigh while your partner watches like they’ve paid front-row tickets to the filthiest, most intimate show of their life.

And guess what? This isn’t just a porno fantasy. This is mutual masturbation done right—with a little help from your favorite toys and a lot of delicious, deliberate performance.

So whether you’re in a long-term relationship looking to reignite some spark, or just want to make your partner squirm while they’re tied to the bed, here’s your step-by-step guide to putting on a show they’ll never forget.

Why Putting On a Show Works (and Feels So Hot)

There’s something primal about watching the person you’re attracted to touch themselves for you. No pretending. No performative porn moans. Just raw, unfiltered desire in action.

The science of it:

• Mirror neurons in the brain fire when we watch others experience pleasure, triggering arousal.

• Seeing a partner turned on = instant validation and anticipation.

• Performance + control = mental edgeplay. You're the one teasing. You're the one holding the climax hostage.

The Show: Staging Your Solo Act

This isn’t just “babe, I’m horny, look at me.” This is theatre. So treat it like foreplay with flair.

1. Build Anticipation

• Tell them you’re going to put on a show later. Let it simmer. Text them from another room.

• “Don’t touch yourself until you see me do it first” is one hell of a prelude.

2. Set the Scene

• Choose a space where they can watch—chair, edge of the bed, or even on a video call.

• Mood lighting: low lamp, candlelight, LED glow.

• Mirror? Even better. Let them watch you and your expression.

3. Dress for the Strip

• Not necessarily lingerie. Think teasing layers—an oversized shirt, nothing underneath but a waist chain.

• Let them see a glimpse before the full reveal.

Bring in the Toys — They’re Your Co-Star

Vibrators, wands, clit stimulators:

• Use them slowly. Tease, pause, moan, make eye contact.

• Start over your panties. Let the toy hum just enough to tempt.

Dildos, plugs, strokers:

• Use lube. Let your hands glide.

• Go slow. This isn’t a race—it’s a countdown.

Remote-control toys:

• Let them control the pace. Let go, squirm, beg. Make them feel the power even when you're doing the touching.

From Solo to Shared: Involving Them (Eventually)

1. Make it mutual.

• Ask them to touch themselves while they watch.

• Sync your pace.

• Make it a competition. Who breaks first?

2. Invite their hands.

• Guide their fingers over yours.

• Let them take over the toy.

• Whisper, “Use it on me like I just did…”

3. Edge together.

• Build. Back off. Build. Back off.

• Watch them struggle to hold back while you perform.

Why Mutual Masturbation Turns People All the Way On

• It removes pressure—no one has to perform for the orgasm.

• It builds erotic tension: seeing what your partner loves, how they touch, how they breathe.

• It’s intimacy with voyeurism—and that combo hits hard.

It tells you how they want to be touched. How much they crave you.
And when you let them watch you come apart? That’s the ultimate invitation.

The Role of Toys in Relationships

(Hint: They’re Not Competition)

Toys aren’t replacements. They’re enhancers. They:

• Offer new sensations.

• Extend playtime (hello, round two).

• Help people with delayed orgasm, ED, or anxiety.

• Level the playing field between penetrative and non-penetrative pleasure.

Want a tip? Use a toy together the first time before solo play. Show them it’s a shared tool, not a private indulgence.

TL;DR: You Are the Fantasy

Sex toys are great. But the real turn-on? Watching someone they love or lust after unravel in real-time—for them.

Put on that show. Touch yourself like they wish they could. Make them wait. Then let them join. Or beg. Or come untouched.

Because when you’re center stage, moaning their name, legs shaking, eyes locked?
There’s no better view.

About the Author: 

Madhu (she/her) has been an avid reader of all things spicy since her childhood. She writes sassy blog posts and listicles now so that others may benefit from her wholly inappropriate, wholly informative tastes, too.