In the iconic film "Mughal-e-Azam," there is an insanely sizzling and famous scene during the song "Prem Jogan Ban Ke." In this particular moment, Madhubala and Dilip Kumar find themselves seated across from each other. Salim, portrayed by Dilip Kumar, deftly moves a feather across Anarkali's face. No words are exchanged, only soft and sensual glances. This scene has transcended time to become one of the most iconic portrayals of sensuality in Indian cinema. It stands as a testament to the remarkable power of the eyes, showcasing how they alone can convey the most profound sentiments without uttering a single word. In today’s lingo, we could call those the ‘fuck-me eyes’.
In Ted 2, if you remember the scene with the waitress, Ted says, “Oh my God, John, did you see that? She was totally giving you the ‘fuck-me’ eyes”. And then he goes on to explain how some women have those eyes. Classic Ted, right? But if you ask us, it's not just women.
Anyone can unleash that gaze, that look that pierces your heart and flips your excitement and seduction levels into overdrive. It's a universal language.
In the book ‘The Art of Seduction’, author Robert Greene writes that eyes are a crucial part of the basic qualities of creating the illusion of charisma. “They reveal excitement, tension, detachment, without a word being spoken. The demeanour of Charismatics may be poised and calm, but their eyes are magnetic; they have a piercing gaze that disturbs their targets’ emotions, exerting force without words or action,” he notes.
These aren't just random observations or everyday chit-chat. Even science is nodding along, acknowledging the critical role eyes play in the grand scheme of seduction. According to several scientific studies, mutual gaze has been linked to the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone" or "bonding hormone," which is associated with social bonding and attachment. Evolutionary psychology suggests that certain behaviours, including the use of seductive gaze, may have evolved as adaptive strategies to attract mates and ensure reproductive success.
Oh, and BTW, we also have a term for this - the copulatory gaze. According to the Social Issues Research Centre’s Flirting Report (yeah, it’s a real thing), “the characteristic features of the human flirtation sequence include what ethologists call the 'copulatory gaze' (intense eye contact), the smile, body synchrony, female coy looks and head-tossing, and male chest-thrusting”. Looks like mother nature is the ultimate match-maker. I was reading something a couple days ago and found out that the custom of veil has been adopted in so many cultures, just because eye contact can have an immediate, intense impact.
Even if we're not the iconic duo of Dilip Kumar and Madhubala, the sheer intensity of a deliberate eye contact has this undeniable ability to stir something deep within. Back in our college days, decoding interest was as simple as deciphering the language of glances. The way someone looked at you spoke volumes, and in those moments, it felt like you could practically feel the spark in the air.
Eyes in the bedroom
All this talk about the power of eyes in expressing interest and flirting leads me to ponder another dimension – the allure of those same seductive eyes in the bedroom.
A friend recently shared a revelation with me, saying, "I used to shy away from making eye contact during intimate moments. We were both on the reserved side, opting for dim lights whenever things got steamy. However, my partner decided to do a bit of research or perhaps sought advice from friends. In the middle of making out, he whispered, 'Babe, look into my eyes.' The profound gaze worked like magic. I felt so hot at that moment, and now having sex while looking into each other’s eyes is our favourite thing to do”. Another friend tells me that even when fully clothed, the intense and sensual gaze from her partner has the ability to make her feel naked, as if bared to the core.
It's no shocker that many of us might overlook the sheer prowess of those hot glances in our most intimate moments, especially considering how a significant chunk of us still prefers to "do it in the dark" or hasn't quite grasped the full potential of intense eye contact. One of my guy pals spills the beans, saying, "Eye contact during intimacy feels like diving into vulnerability, and honestly, sometimes the intensity is a bit much for me." On the flip side, a girl friend confesses, "I've got my fair share of body insecurities, and locking eyes with my partner during sex feels like unleashing a tidal wave of intimidation." Well, maybe the whole eye-contact thing isn't an immediate match for everyone's taste. And this is where mastering the art of making comfortable, meaningful eye contact comes into the picture.
How to make comfortable eye contact
Honestly, it is not rocket science, but it can be like one of those essential skills — akin to opening a bank account, that nobody teaches. Just as people have diverse comfort levels and unique backgrounds influencing their perceptions, the same holds true for locking eyes during intimacy. Cultural norms add their own spicy flavour to this mix. Different cultures, different rules. In western cultures, while direct eye contact is encouraged, Eastern cultures prefer to keep those eyes hidden.
First things first, think of it as a dance. Don't start with the full-blown tango but begin with a little two-step. Ease into prolonged eye contact with short, meaningful glances. As things heat up, choose those tender moments – holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a quiet conversation – to initiate the eye lock.
When those eyes meet, let go of distractions and be fully present. It's not a solo act, it's a duet, and you're both the stars. It is very important to read the room. Adjust the intensity of your gaze based on the situation. Sometimes a more intense, passionate gaze may be appropriate, while at other times, a softer, more tender look is fitting.
And remember, consent is your trusty sidekick. If your partner's vibe seems off, respect those boundaries. Observe the body language, communicate openly and ask them if they are comfortable in the situation. You cannot take consent for granted. If you're unsure about your partner's comfort level with eye contact, encourage open communication. Check in with them and express your own feelings to create a space for shared understanding. In the end, it's about creating comfort and shared joy with your partner.
Let these tidbits guide you on the thrilling journey of seduction through those smouldering looks and have passionate, honest and sizzling sex. As the saying goes, ‘the eyes, Chico...they never lie”.
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