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Lingerie and Sex: 5 women on the kinda lingerie that gets them going

Lingerie and Sex: 5 women on the kinda lingerie that gets them going

Ah, the bra-shopping escapades—the rite of passage that can be as awkward as your first attempt at mastering a trending Instagram Reel dance. Picture this: as soon as you hit puberty, your mom, armed with good intentions and perhaps a questionable size choice, throws you into the wild world of bras, declaring it's time to "dress your age." I remember a friend was secretly suffocating in an ill-fitted bra for weeks that her mom chose for her, before finally confessing she could no longer breathe. Thanks to the taboo around talking about all things intimacy and the female body.

Now, if the basic undergarment struggle is real, imagine the chaos when we upgrade to the fancier, sassier sibling—lingerie. Pronunciation debates aside, it's a maze of questions: How do you buy it? When do you wear it? And, for those under the watchful eyes of nosy parents, where on earth do you hide it? I still recall the scandal that unfolded when a friend's mom found her lacy, red secret weapon in her cupboard. It was all things drama.

Yet, amidst the bra-buying fiascos and taboos, the stats spill a different story. Despite the chaos and judgments that may come their way, women are boldly embracing their sexiness, making the lingerie market in India skyrocket. The India lingerie market size reached US$ 4.9 Billion in 2023, according to a report by the International Market Analysis Research and Consulting Group (IMARC). It also predicts a huge leap to US$ 8.2 Billion by 2028, with a growth rate of 10.9% from 2023-2028. Looks like the lingerie revolution is not just a trend; it's a full-on sensation!

If you ask me, the right lingerie isn't just about looking good; it's about feeling unstoppable in the game of intimacy. For some, lingerie becomes the unsung hero of desire and the silent partner in passion. But also, it is a way to channel your inner goddess and embrace self-love. It's not just about what's underneath the fabric—it's about the confidence it weaves, because, let's face it, confidence is the sexiest outfit. At least this is what I understood after talking to some women from different walks of life.

We're about to spill the tea (or should we say lace?) with these five women who are here to share the deets on the lingerie game that's got them feeling themselves.

M, 29, Photojournalist

I bloomed very late in life, in terms of my sexual awakening. Initially, when I started wearing bras, I remember it was all about those cotton bras – not even black, just plain white and skin-coloured ones dictated by my mother. She had me wearing those until I ventured into the working world. As I observed friends and colleagues in the office discussing lingerie, I couldn't fathom why people splurged so much on these fancy undergarments. Prices starting from 2 to 3k for one bra seemed extravagant.

In 2020 during the lockdown, my curiosity got the better of me. I decided to dive into the world of sexy lingerie, selecting a gorgeous Burgundy bralette with lace that I still treasure. Putting it on was a revelation – I felt beautiful and sexy, gazing at myself in awe for a good 15-20 minutes. It was more than just a garment. it exuded empowerment and a sense of freedom. I am a plus size woman and it took me a lot to find that sense of acceptance and self-confidence, and lingerie definitely helped. I also realised that as a big woman, you will be sexualised in anything you wear anyway, but I wear it for myself.

I was intrigued, and so I captured my newfound confidence in pictures and posted them on my personal Instagram account. The feedback was positive – those images made me feel good about myself. That was my epiphany and I understood why women invest in lingerie. It's not just about enhancing the beauty of a woman's assets; it's about feeling good. For me, lacy bralettes became a personal favourite. I wear them not for anyone else but to revel in my own beauty and power.

For me, lingerie evolved into more than a personal indulgence. It became a prop in my boudoir photos, a stage for self-expression. 

S, 28, Lawyer

I'm not one for fancy lingerie. My preference leans toward the functional, basic ones. What makes it special is the shared inside jokes between me and my partner about lingerie. For example the ritual of gifting each other underwear in the same colour. It's a subtle secret, an intimate connection known only to us, and that adds a spicy touch to our relationship.

It took on a different significance during a phase where penetrative sex was difficult for me and I was suggested to turn to lingerie because it could help me feel more comfortable, and it did help! While it may be a mere garment to be removed, it serves as a catalyst for engaging conversations with my partner. Personally, I feel that its impact may not be groundbreaking in the realm of sexual pleasure, yet it contributes to creating an atmosphere of intimacy and playfulness.

When my partner is in the office and wearing matching underwear gifted by me, I love teasing him. It’s our little secret joke. I love how his voice changes on the phone when I remind him of that. These small details then become a delightful precursor setting the stage for more intimate moments to unfold between us.

P, 41, Homemaker

In the cocoon of my small town existence, where the TV and magazines like Grihashobha were my only windows to the world, the concept of fancy lingerie felt like a secret. I stumbled upon it through an article in one of those housewife magazines, suggesting the kind of lingerie that could capture a husband's attention. Intrigued, I braved the judgmental glances at the nearby shop, where I discovered a plain black bra adorned with lace at the corners. Little did I know I would get so fond of those.

That unassuming piece of lingerie transformed me into a confident woman in my intimate moments, leaving me feeling like an actress in movies. The positive reactions from my husband fueled my curiosity. I wanted to explore more. I began pushing boundaries, even requesting my husband to bring back fancy lingerie during his work trips. From the classic black to the ones with ribbons and drawstring, from corsets to the sultry bodysuit, I've tried most of them now.

I love the ones with drawstrings because it extends the teasing time and adds an extra layer of suspense. It gives me a sense of power. Even after having two kids and being married for 15 years, when I wear a newly bought piece of lingerie and appear in front of my husband, I feel 21 again!

H, 35, Teacher

I have had serious body-image issues, and If I am being intimate with someone, wearing good lingerie is important for me to feel confident. If it is not daily wear, it needs to be glamorous. I like lace, lycra. I am also fond of stockings. One of my ex-boyfriends was a huge Marvel fan, so I once tried a Black Widow inspired bodysuit kinda lingerie, and he just went crazy. I prefer the classic Red and Black colours. Just pair any of these with a red lip, and you’ll be the sexiest thing walking on earth.

I mostly buy lingerie from stores, because options are limited online and it can also have size issues. In stores, fellow women suggesting me what to wear with a shy, telling smile on their face and really coming together to ensure I buy something that flatters me the most; is very cute.

T, 31, Consultant

My lingerie journey started with a sports bra that my mom got for me when I was a teenager. The kind of changes my body was growing through at that time, especially growing breasts, made me feel uncomfortable. I also realised that the sports bra wasn’t a good fit depending on my body type. It took me a while to figure out what kind of lingerie works for me. When I decided to try something sexy, I bought an underwired one with lace and see-through fabric. It looked nice, but it wasn't very comfy. I learned that I prefer a mix of comfort and glamour.

One time in a local market in Noida, when I was around 22-23 years old, I chanced upon this short sexy negligee for 100-200 rupees. I was very intrigued and bought it. I felt beautiful in it, even though it wasn’t very expensive. Now things have changed.

Now I always shop online to keep things discreet because going to a store can feel a bit intimidating. Sometimes, the salespeople can be creepy, especially when you want something sexy. So, online is my safe spot. I have explored beyond regular lingerie, trying out satin night dresses and translucent outfits that could pass as dresses to wear under coats on date nights to add some extra spice.

It's not just about looking good; it's about feeling confident. Wearing something like this shifts the energy, even if your partner hasn't said they want you to wear it. But when they appreciate it, it adds to the whole experience. I feel more desirable and that gives me a sense of power.

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It's not just about the lingerie, it's about the feeling it gives you. Slip into those lacy wonders not for someone else, but for the sheer joy it brings you. If you do decide to flaunt it, trust me, it's a game-changer for both of you. And if you haven't taken that plunge yet, let this article and varied perspectives I shared nudge you in that direction.

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About the Author 

Unnati is your friendly neighborhood wordsmith, doubling as a classical music enthusiast. She's into all things gender, pop culture, and cinema. Oh, and don't be surprised if she drops some political wisdom – she is heavily into national politics and current affairs too. With a liberal arts background, she brings that extra flavour and nuance in her writings.

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