It took me long enough to have this moment of clarity about what pleasure meant to me, and where does it merge with my sexuality. For many others, they would either take a lifetime and finally pay attention to their bodies, or never reach that point at all. This especially holds true in India, where years of sexual repression are closely knit with the patriarchal forces and misogynistic conditioning in play. Essentially, female pleasure was never in question because it was continuously denied as a concept, act, or idea. A classic example of this can be the usage of the colloquial phrase, ‘walk of shame’–which describes the journey back home for a vulva-owner the morning after sex. Pop references managed to throw around the lingo so casually that in the process it became normalized for many to actually feel sinful or distraught, specifically after one-night stands. Whatever happened to our share of pleasure?
Male dominance over the bodies of vulva-owners and the sheer mysticism surrounding female sexuality have contributed to the skewed representation and scanty narrative around the catchphrase, ‘what women want’. Instead of bridging the communication gap, this idea has been posed as a challenge, building up different notions about how people with vulva would want to be pleased in bed. “Just ask what they want”, someone would say. Trivial much?
When sexual subjugation has been the reality for many Indians with a vulva, the trauma aside, it can distort the ways they view their body, sexual acts, pleasure, and intimacy, in general. If they themselves don’t know what they want or like, how would they tell you?
Growing up as a ‘typical Indian girl’ with traditional references clouding my judgment and free will, viewing myself as a sexual being was out of context. In the pretext of ‘values’, we often censor the word sex from the female vocabulary till they are married (with or without consent) and from there, heteronormativity pushes forth the agenda of sex for penetration (and, procreation). All this while, a ‘good woman’ is the one who is modest, innocent, and preserves their ‘purity’ for ‘their man’. My foremothers too believed that, and so did I for the longest time. And, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Liberation came much later, but there was some realization in my case―that I can (dare to) think about what I desire or please. Even though I had heard all about female-first brands, it was imperative for me to know if they’re safe. Of course, given the fact how anything to do with your pleasure has been projected as threatening or detrimental, my first instinct was to safeguard my body. That’s when I finally laid hands on two beautiful creations: OG and Lit. The name is as fierce as their looks, and the two colors, a bold pink and sea green pop out loud in a world that propagates shame and masking of our true selves. At first, my mother investigated what these massagers would do, and that led to a rather interesting inquiry. It was enlightening for both of us to know how far we’ve come in the struggle to establish bodily autonomy, given my privileged upbringing. My friends too have been fascinated with my growth as a sexual person, though idealistically I would want them to be as in touch with their sexuality, at their own pace.
Lit reminded me of a mini telephone receiver and righteously so since never have I ever had such a healthy communication with the entirety of my body. I trust Aunt Sassy (and probably the only aunt who I can) when they say, “S*cks, but doesn't!”. It easily fits in my hands, and because of its one-of-a-kind suction superpower, I could even go hands-free! The tingling, the wriggling, and the squirming―I had a gala time with the five-speed mode giving me the control of the pace I want to set.
OG truly is the most gangsta’ of ‘em of all. The subtle color and soft feel of this body massager can soothe you aesthetically, but don’t judge a book by its cover! The pulsating, rhythmic, and soul-stirring vibes relax all your sore spots and take you to the seventh heaven with 10 different frequencies (literally). Whether you want to go to town like Kween Doja or move your body like Beyoncé―with a press of a button, you can do all that and more!
The question remains, “Are these two safe for use?”
Long story short, YES FAM! They used body-safe medical-grade silicone + ABS plastic, and are splash-proof (Lit) and water-proof (OG). Just plug it with the USB provided to you, follow the instructions in the artsy manuals you get along and wait till the red light turns into a green signal (Waddup Squid Game reference!). And, you know who’s OG & Lit’s bestie? Sassy’s very own DTF: Sexual Lube is the perfect accompaniment with your solo unwinding or partner play! Take a pump, or two, or more and your huha would hip-hip hoorah!
With a slow but gradual progression in mainstream Indian media too, films and OTT content such as B.A. Pass, Lipstick Under My Burkha, and Made in Heaven, we can see the baby steps taken towards more pleasure-positive storylines for female characters. As this happens, we can also open our minds to the welcoming change that is owning our sexuality, being good to our bodies, and enjoying the space we take up―one stimulation at a time!
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About the author
Anuja Razdan (she/her) is a student/mental & sexual health advocate based in Delhi-NCR, who is currently pursuing her Masters in Psychology from Savitribai Phule Pune University. Being a queer cis woman who is aspiring to practice as a psychotherapist in future, she hopes to essentiate a queer affirming, intersectional feminist, pleasure-positive and kink allied approach towards mental health—on a personal & professional level. All-in-all, she’s your quintessential dog lady with a blue typewriter, living three blocks away, probably writing about you.
