Sending a screenshot of your chat to the same person instead of your girl gang? Awkward. But mentioning sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to someone you’re hoping to get down with? That's a screenshot awkward level x 100.
I totally get it. Sex is supposed to be all about fun and pleasure, but talking about it can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield, thanks to all the taboo surrounding it. But hey, take your pick: one uncomfortable conversation now, or waking up tomorrow with a fiery reminder of last night's escapades in the form of an STI?
"Some people say, 'Wow, those conversations are so awkward. I'm like, yeah, but sometimes getting naked with somebody for the first time is really awkward," says Dr. Evalene Dacker, an Oregon-based sex educator. "The more that we prep for it, the less awkward that's going to be."
So, fear not! Aunt Sassy is here to save the day with some killer tips to make those conversations a breeze.
1. The prime time to chat about STIs is before the clothes start flying. Sure, you can bring it up later, but why not lay the groundwork before things get too steamy?
Think of it like this: it's much easier to set the stage for open, honest communication about sexual health and boundaries before you're tangled up in the sheets. After all, who wants to pause the action for a serious talk when you're already in the heat of the moment (ofcourse, remember that it’s never too late )? Let's keep things smooth sailing from the get-go.
2. Talk to them, don’t just tell. Bombarding them with a laundry list of questions and demands? Yeah, not the most inviting vibe. Instead, try another way. Open up the conversation with something like, "Hey, how do you feel about us getting tested for STIs together before we take things to the next level?" Include them in the conversation. Show that you care about their feelings too. Ditch the ultimatum tone and opt for a more collaborative approach. Trust me, they'll appreciate being part of the discussion rather than feeling like they're being ordered around. Communication is key, my friend, and a little charm goes a long way.
3. One way to talk about STIs is kicking off a conversation by diving into your overall sexual history. Start off casual, like asking about their go-to protection methods - condoms, dental dams. Then, smoothly transition into the nitty-gritty of STIs. Ask about their testing routine, like when was the last time they got checked or if they typically do it after welcoming new partners into the mix.
4. Talking about STIs can be a tad uncomfortable. (Even though it shouldn’t be, that’s just how we’ve been raised.) Here's a sneaky little trick to break the ice: start by sharing your own sexual health journey. Drop something like, "Guess what? I got tested for STIs last month, and phew, all clear!" Then, casually slide into the question, "When was the last time you got tested?" Sprinkle in a funny story about that one time you freaked out about an STI scare, only to realize it was just a false alarm. By being open and chill about your own experiences, you're setting the stage for a safe and judgment-free conversation. Trust me, when they see you handling this topic without awkwardness, they'll feel more at ease too. It's like creating your very own STI-free comfort zone.
5. Arm yourself with facts about STIs and don't be afraid to whip them out when the conversation calls for it. There is a lot of misinformation and stigma around STIs, which is what creates panic, anxiety, fear and shame. Be prepared to tell them how most STIs are a piece of cake to treat, especially when caught early. Talk to them about how early treatment means they're less likely to cause any long-term health hiccups. If they are scared, let them know how STI tests are quick, simple, and usually painless. And hey, if they're not keen on chatting about STIs with their regular doc, no biggie! Clinics are always there to save the day. Getting your facts right can make you tackle any STI-related convo like a boss, and also help the person you’re hooking up with feel better
6. Here’s the most basic, non-negotiable ask - agree to stay safe. One wild night of fun is not worth everything that an STI brings. Be upfront with your partner about making safety a top priority. Let them know that you're not just looking out for yourself, but for both of you. Because let's face it, sex is a heck of a lot more enjoyable when you know you're both playing it safe.
By now, I hear what you’re thinking. It's one thing to talk this talk, but does anyone actually walk the walk when it comes to discussing STIs? Well, I did a little digging and chatted with some cool people to find out. Get ready for some juicy insights!
Priyanka, Bangalore :
“As someone who's no stranger to the hookup scene, I've noticed a little somethin'-somethin' about regulars: we're not afraid to dive into those awkward conversations about STIs. Nope, not one bit. We understand that the risks are real, especially when it comes to hooking up with new partners so frequently. When you're in the game as much as we are, you quickly learn that being open and honest about sexual health is just part of the deal. And you know what? We're pros at carrying the conversation smoothly, whether we're the ones initiating it or someone else brings it up.”
Aashi, Coimbatore :
“If a potential partner didn't bother to ask about STIs, I'd be raising an eyebrow. I take my health seriously, and that includes looking out for my partners too, even if it’s a one night thing. So, if someone can't be bothered to have a simple conversation about sexual health, it’s a huge red flag. Period.”
Darshan, Mumbai :
“I met this amazing girl at a club about three months back. When the conversation turned to STI testing, I didn't bat an eye before asking—and she didn't hesitate to get it done. Talk about a match made in responsible hookup heaven.
But then, things took a bit of a twist. Something funky popped up in her test results, and the doc suggested we wait a month for a retest. Normally, I'm all about playing it safe and waiting for the all-clear. But with the chemistry we had and the time we'd already spent together, I'll admit, I had a bit of an urge to throw caution to the wind and dive right in—of course, with protection.
She was the one who pumped the brakes, insisting we wait for the results. And you know what? I respected the heck out of that. So, we waited. And waited. Nearly two months later, we finally got the green light - and let me tell you, folks, it was worth the wait.
There's something incredibly satisfying about getting down and dirty with someone who values safety and responsibility just as much as you do. It's like a whole new level of intimacy.”
STI talk might not be the sexiest topic, but it's definitely one of the most important. As we navigate the wild world of dating and relationships, let's make sure we're not just swiping right, but also swiping smart. From honest conversations to regular check-ups, let's commit to keeping our love lives safe, steamy, and oh-so-satisfying. And hey, if you're feeling inspired, why not make a date with your doctor for that next check-up? Your own health and all your hot future hookups will thank you for it!
And for those moments when you're prioritizing both pleasure and safety, why not explore our latest range of sex toys and water-based lubricant gel? Our carefully curated selection is designed to enhance intimacy and pleasure while prioritizing your sexual health. Whether you're indulging in solo play or enjoying intimate moments with a partner, we've got something to ignite the spark in every encounter.
Now that you've learned how to discuss STIs with your partner, why not further broaden your understanding? Explore our blogs on topics such as 'Dangers of Unprotected Sex' and 'Is masturbation healthy?' to deepen your knowledge and embark on a journey of sexual exploration.
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About the Author :
Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.
