I recently watched a movie called Mrs featuring Sanya Malhotra that everyone's buzzing about on Instagram. Yeah, the one that's the Bollywood version of the amazing Malayalam film The Great Indian Kitchen. Both films do a stellar job of showing the everyday grind women face in patriarchal setups and how far we still are from genuine gender parity.

Without spoiling too much, there's this scene where the lead actress is talking to her husband about sex. She's exhausted from all the mechanical sex and blurts out, "Meri koi desires nahin hai?" ("Don’t I have desires?"), and the dude just shrugs it off. Like, seriously? This is all tied to her working non-stop, trying to win over her new family.

Now, some might be all, "What does sex has to do with equality?" Well, dear, it has everything to do with it. It’s about respect. When you respect the woman in your life, you care about every aspect of her well-being, and that includes her pleasure.

Let’s get one thing straight: a woman's orgasm isn't a bonus feature; it's a basic human right. When a relationship consistently overlooks female pleasure, it's not just bad sex; it's a symptom of a larger power imbalance.

In India, this issue is even more layered. We live in a society where sex is often shrouded in secrecy and shame, especially for women. The idea that a woman should openly express her desires or prioritize her own pleasure is often seen as rebellious or even immoral.

But think about it: how can we talk about gender equality when women aren't even allowed to enjoy their own bodies? How can we break down patriarchal structures when women are taught to prioritize everyone else's needs before their own?

Why Owning Our Desires Matters

We're supposedly living in an enlightened age, but gender equality? It still feels like a distant galaxy. Word on the street is, it's going to take another 131 years to get there. That’s like, five generations of waiting for basic fairness. Seriously? Someone needs to hit the fast-forward button.

This is not only about boardrooms and equal paychecks (though, hello, those are still major issues) – it's about the whole shebang – feeling safe walking home at night, having control over our bodies, and, yes, even enjoying a fulfilling sex life without shame or stigma.

Ask yourselves - how much of what we do is dictated by societal norms. From how we dress to how assertive we are at work, there are invisible lines we’re constantly told not to cross. And when it comes to sex? The double standards are enough to make you scream. Men are encouraged to explore, while women are often shamed for even acknowledging they have desires.

How many times have you faked an orgasm just to get things over with? Or did you feel too awkward to tell your partner what you really want in bed? We’ve all been there.

But what if we started prioritizing our own pleasure? What if we saw self-love, exploration, and open communication as essential parts of our well-being?

Accelerating Action - What Should Be Done?

The World Bank says closing gender gaps in earnings could lead to a $160 trillion increase in global GDP. That’s not pocket change, people. When women are empowered, economies thrive. It's not just the right thing to do; it's the smart thing to do. Tea Trumbic, the lead author of the World Bank's "Women, Business and the Law 2024" report, emphasizes the urgency of reforming laws and policies to empower women, highlighting that increasing women's economic participation is crucial for amplifying their voices and shaping decisions.

So, how do we speed things up? How do we go from waiting for our great-great-granddaughters to enjoy equality to actually experiencing it ourselves?

First, we need to talk about money. Or rather, the lack of it. According to Focus 2030, official development assistance directly contributing to gender equality actually decreased by 5% in 2022. Seriously? It's like the world is saying, "Yeah, gender equality is important, but not that important." We need to put our money where our mouth is and invest in programs that directly benefit women and girls.

Second, we need to challenge the status quo. That means calling out sexism when we see it, supporting female-owned businesses, and demanding equal representation in all spheres of life. It also means having those uncomfortable conversations about sex, pleasure, and consent.

And third, we need to empower ourselves. That means prioritizing our own well-being, setting boundaries, and refusing to apologize for being ambitious, opinionated, or sexually confident. UN Women's "Gender Snapshot 2024" highlights that women still do an average of 40 hours of unpaid work per week. Let's start by reclaiming some of that time for ourselves.

That's where the conversation about pleasure becomes radical. It's about accepting our bodies, our desires, and our right to experience joy without guilt or shame. It’s about dismantling the idea that women are only valuable for their roles as wives, mothers, or caregivers.

We need to #AccelerateAction, and that means tackling everything from boardroom bias to bedroom boredom. It’s not just about equal pay, it's about equal play. When women reclaim their desires and prioritize pleasure, it's a power move that challenges the patriarchy head-on. Studies show a clear link between sexual satisfaction and overall well-being, meaning that empowering women to own their pleasure isn't frivolous, it's fundamental. As Katherine Rowland's research suggests, a lack of desire often stems from feeling unequal in relationships, highlighting that pleasure can be learned and is rooted in social power. 

How the Sexual Wellness Industry Is Changing the Game

Here's where it gets interesting. There's a whole industry out there that's starting to flip the script: the sexual wellness industry. We're talking sex toys, lubricants, and educational resources – all designed to help women take charge of their pleasure. And in a country like India, where sex is still such a taboo topic, this is kind of a big deal. By creating products and resources that cater to female pleasure, they're helping women explore their sexuality and take control of their own experiences.

How can you get in on this revolution? Start by ditching the guilt and embracing self-love, even if it means adding a little something extra to your routine if your partner isn't quite hitting the spot. In a culture where women are often taught to prioritize everyone else's needs, this is a radical act of rebellion. Spark conversations with your girlfriends – share those toy recommendations. We get so many reviews from girlfriends buying toys and vibrators for their female friends and honestly, it fills us with so much joy! You don't even have to wait for a man!

When in a relationship, communicate your needs to your partner. It might feel awkward at first, but trust me, open communication is a game-changer. In a society where female pleasure is still a taboo topic, these small acts of self-love and open dialogue are powerful ways to chip away at the patriarchy, one orgasm at a time.

Of course, a vibrator isn't going to solve systemic inequality overnight. But it can be a tool for self-discovery, empowerment, and also, some much-deserved fun.

So, the next time you hear someone dismiss the importance of female pleasure, remind them that it's not just about sex; it's about respect, equality, and women owning their own bodies and desires. Gender equality isn't going to happen overnight. But by challenging the status quo, supporting each other, and demanding change, we can create a world where our daughters – and granddaughters – won't have to wait another century for what they deserve. 

Author Bio:

Disha (she/her) believes she's half therapist because people spill their guts to her with ease. But for now, she's writing sassy pieces on the internet about all things fun and pop culture. With a flair for wit and a curious spirit, she is all about digging into the saucy details of human intimacy.