Dear 16 year old me,
Hey you, yes, you! It's me - well, technically, it's you - but from the future. This might feel surreal, but there are so many things I want to tell you. So, sit down and take this in. I hope my note to you brings back a couple of laughs, some comfort and a little bit of clarity.
The biggest struggle right about now is to accept yourself for who you are. I know how much time you spend worrying about how you look. I know how heavily it weighs on your mind. You scrutinize every little thing - your weight, your skin, your height, your hair. You wonder why you don’t look like the models in magazines, the actors in movies, or even some of your friends. But babe, there is no perfect body. And the people you’re comparing yourself to? They’re probably struggling with their own insecurities as well. You’re not alone in this battle, and the truth is, it’s a battle you don’t even have to fight. My love, you’re so beautiful, and sooner or later, you’re going to realize it.
Life’s too short to obsess over thigh gaps and flawless skin. And I know, that in the moments you finally start loving yourself a little, just enough to be able to wear a dress you like, there will be people who slutshame you. Honestly, fuck what they say. Wear that crop top. Put on the slutty deep neck dress that you’ve always had your eyes on. Don’t deprive yourself of the joy in everyday things.
Oh my god, I have so much to say to you. Where do I even begin? Everything you're going through right now, every challenge, every doubt, every awkward moment that feels like it’s never going to end - it’s all going to make sense one day. But before it does, you’ll have to weather a few storms.
Let’s talk about some of those storms. I wish I could tell you that the pressure to fit in will magically disappear. The truth is, it doesn’t - but your perception of it changes. You’ll eventually learn that you don’t need to conform to anyone’s expectations. You’ll realize that the things that make you feel different are actually the things that make you powerful. Your quirks, your weird sense of humor, your unique interests - those are what make you, you. There will come a time when people admire you for exactly those traits, and you’ll wonder why you ever wanted to hide them.
I know there are days when you feel like you don’t belong, like you’re playing a game where everyone knows the rules but you. I remember feeling that way so vividly - those late nights wondering if you were ever going to figure it all out. But here’s the secret that no one tells you at that age: nobody has it all figured out. Not then, not now, not even later. I still don’t have so many answers, and that’s okay. Life isn’t about having all the answers anyway. It’s about finding joy in the journey of figuring them out.
And friendships, oh my god. Some of those friendships feel like they’re going to last forever, and maybe they will. But don’t be surprised if some of them don’t. People change, you’ll change, and sometimes, you’ll grow apart. It’s life. But for now, I want you to dot points on a map to all your close friends’ homes. Binge watch movies with them cause they know that caramel flavored popcorn is the only popcorn you’ll ever like. Friendship is one of the most precious gifts life will give you, so give that as much time as you can.
And let’s talk about love - because I know that’s on your mind A LOT. First crushes are intense, aren’t they? Oh boy.You’re convinced that your first love story is basically out of a Karan Johar film. I know all your Sanjay Leela Bhansali set shaadi kind of dreams with you know who I’m talking about. But spoiler alert : Your love life is going to be more like a series of messy, hilarious but all beautiful bloopers. And amidst all that, I want to tell you this : love is not about finding someone who completes you, because you are already complete. It’s about finding someone who complements you. And it’s okay if you can’t don’t understand this right now - we’ll look back on the times you dressed up to impress a boy and spent nights wishing he’d text back and write the wittiest replies just so he doesn’t leave - and we’ll laugh on those moments together.
You will make mistakes in love, and that’s okay. You’ll have your heart broken, and you’ll break a few hearts. But you will eventually learn your lessons : Don’t ever lose yourself trying to please someone else. Don’t rush it, don’t force it. And I mean that for everything. When it’s right, you’ll know.
The worst storms might be the nights you spend crying alone in a room. Everything would seem to be going wrong.You will feel like a comedian who has completely forgotten his punchlines, with a whole bunch of eyes staring at you. At that time, in that second, don't freak out. Remember, you're a writer. You're not supposed to be funny anyway. I know that sometimes, the world is a cruel place to be in. But sweetheart, I've seen a boy pick up an injured pigeon and fix his cut wing. You just have to wait, We're both so close to sunrise.
Talking of sunrise makes me think of all your dreams and ambitions. You have these big, wild dreams inside of you, don’t you? Sometimes they feel a little too big, like maybe you’re reaching for the stars when you should be aiming a bit lower. Let me tell you something: no dream is too big. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true. The world is full of possibilities, and I’m saying this after seeing it and not from an instagram quote. You are full of potential. There will be times when you feel like giving up, when the obstacles seem too big, and when it feels like you’re taking two steps back for every step forward. But here’s the thing: progress is progress, no matter how slow. Keep showing up, with the glitter in your eyes.
I think by now, you’d be thinking, “yeah yeah, all of this is fine - but what does the future hold? Am I still with the boy I keep dreaming about? How close am I to my goals?” Well, I won’t spoil all surprises for you. You could be anywhere right now. You could have become an astronaut who made it to some planet twice already or at a cafe that you started with your friends. Things are going to turn out in ways you never expected. There will be some wild surprises, a few “what the heck just happened?” moments, and plenty of laughs along the way. Life’s got a weird sense of humor, and you’ll learn to laugh with it.
But one of the most important lessons I’ve learned through this funny ride is this: happiness is not something you find; it’s something you create. It’s created in the little moments - the days you spend singing with your lil’ sister, eating vada pav with your friends. It’s in the moments of long scooty rides at night and waiting for a movie to cost 100 bucks in the theater before going to watch it. It’s in selecting your friend’s outfit for her first date and the late night phone calls talking to her about how it went. It’s in the college canteen.
I know this might have started to bore you by now, and you probably want to rush to that cool party. But one last thing : Please know that you don’t need to be more of anything. Not more talented, not more popular, not more successful. You are enough simply by being you. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll start living your life with the freedom and confidence that comes with self-acceptance.
Don’t worry so much about the future. It’s going to unfold exactly as it should. You’ve not already crossed moments that you'll call the best. You’ll grow, you’ll evolve, and you’ll thrive. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Be patient with the process. And always, always trust that you’re on the right path, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
With all my love and belief in you,
You, 10 years from now
About the Author:
Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.
