In a time when we’re celebrating girlhood by embracing femininity, reclaiming the colour pink, and attending Barbie premieres all dressed up, there’s also been increased conversation on the importance of female friendships. These friendships are what allowed some of us to shamelessly embrace girlishness growing up, as we painted each other’s nails and gushed about WinX Club! While a genuinely caring friendship can make anyone’s life better, female friendships occupy a unique space in a culture that often discourages women from expressing ourselves in almost every aspect of our lives, including intimacy. Womens’ friendships challenge patriarchal notions of pleasure that dismiss female desire, by encouraging curiosity and choice. In this piece, your BFF Aunt Sassy is diving into some of the ways that your girl gang shapes the way you engage with pleasure. Also check out our collection of self care products, which has been curated with all that you need for some mind-blowing, toe-curling adventures. We also have gift boxes for you to spice up your bestie’s life!
The way you talk about pleasure
The openness and acceptance with which your gal pals talk about intimacy in their lives can shape how you communicate about it as well. Whether you enjoy dishing out all the details, or are a little more reserved and maybe use awkward metaphors, your vocabulary of pleasure with your friends can translate into your self reflections and conversations with partners. This is significant considering many of us haven’t had access to basic sex education. And most of the media tends to cater to the male gaze, leaving little room for women to think about our own desires. Being sex positive does not mean that you have to share every naughty thought or experience with your friends, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. Chatting transparently about our fantasies, excitements, insecurities, and disappointments around exploring touch, can help us embrace ourselves authentically–in the bedroom and otherwise.
Taking notes from each other
When we share our stories in the bedroom with our friends, we also share knowledge that can enhance our sexual wellness. Whether it’s an unfortunate episode of a urinary tract infection (UTI) that a bestie shares as a cautionary tale of making sure to pee after sex, or sharing notes on different pleasure toys that have been tried and tested, female friendships can provide valuable information that changes your pleasure game. There’s so much to learn about pleasure and while it can be exciting, sometimes it can also feel a little overwhelming. That’s when talking with other trusted women can remind you that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own!
Along with tips from reliable friends, reliable intimate wellness products can also make your erotic journeys so much more fun and safe. Take for instance, our intimate lubricant DTF–all-natural, pH-balanced, and unflavoured, this lube is all about making playtime extra smooth!
Setting healthy boundaries
Our girl gang can sometimes guide us to what’s better for us, and this is why many of us ask them about their opinion of who we’re dating. Friends can support us in setting and maintaining boundaries that honour our preferences, comfort levels, and emotional well-being. This empowers us to take agency of our wants in the bedroom and accept the pleasure that we deserve. Apart from providing dating advice, our friends can also model healthy relationship dynamics, which can help us identify healthy patterns with our partners.
Understanding pleasure can be different
Hearing about different games that our friends play in the bedroom, and what takes them to the peak reminds us that our bodies can enjoy pleasure very differently. When we have limited exposure to unique perspectives in the media, it can make us feel like something is wrong with us, when our experiences don’t fit the mainstream narratives. But talking to our close friends can quickly remind us that pleasure is so much more than what we often see on screens. This can encourage us to feel less insecure about our preferences and performance, and embrace ourselves for who we are. And nothing lights up playtime like feeling yourself! If you’ve been thinking about tinkering with what works for you best, try our personal massager Flex. An intuitive and lightweight massager that bends to your will, Flex can be used for internal and external stimulation, offering you the best of both worlds!
Aunt Sassy hopes this piece reminded you of your girlfriends and all the naughty and heartwarming conversations you’ve had that have brought you closer. Continue to cherish these friendships and as always, wishing you the best of pleasure!
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About the Author
Anna (she/they) is queer and neurodivergent. They have always been curious about pleasure and conversations around it (and wanted to found a condom company when they were 12, because of Global North misinformed panic that the climate crisis is a consequence of overpopulation–they’ve learnt better now). They wish to contribute to a world where everyone can enjoy access to pleasure, safely and shamelessly.
