Dearest horniest readers, we know you’ve been watching those steamy Bridgerton scenes or let’s be honest, any sex scene, and you’ve been wondering and pondering the age old question: “Am I good in bed?” Ahhhh, the question that stumps us all because no matter how much your partner or partners reassure you, this nagging doubt will never leave you. Because the truth is, only YOU can answer it. With a little help of course, and that’s where your trusty ol’ Aunt Sassy comes in.
Now, before we go in any deeper, a little bit of a heads up: while being good in bed can mean knowing when to lick, how to finger, where to kiss, etc. etc., it takes something extra special to truly wow someone and make sure that both you and them are having the time of your lives! So, what’s that little extra? It’s you. Yes, you and how you take care of yourself and how connected you are with your body because that determines how well you connect with someone else. See, that’s why the “Am I good in bed?” question is only one you can answer!
So, let’s dive in between the sheets and get down (and dirty) to it.
1. How healthy are you?
No, we’re not asking if you’re strong and can flip your partner in one swing or flexible and can do sexy splits…we’re genuinely asking about your health. Are you fit? Are you active outside the sheets? Are you eating well? And again, this isn’t to imply you have to beef up or eat salads forever but, are you taking care of yourself? Because no matter how good your technique may be in the bedroom, if you’re not looking after yourself outside of it, it’s definitely going to show up in the bedroom. And Aunt Sassy isn’t exaggerating here! Your health affects your blood flow which is really crucial for erections, arousals and even how good your vulva feels!
Now, we all know that health doesn’t only mean physical. There’s the mental component too. And it is a well known fact that anything that makes you feel not great about yourself–anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, a low self-esteem–can lower your libido, the sex drive that is oh-so-important to your o-oh-ohhhh’s! It also keeps you distracted from being present in bed and truly enjoying yourself.
So go on and take care of yourself, do whatever you need to do to feel your best and hey, while you’re at it make sure to focus on your hormones and getting their balance right too, because if those hormones aren’t raging the right way, you won’t be either!
2. How present are you?
Sex is a gift that can only be a powerful present when you are truly present. What we’re trying to say in all our sage wisdom is that you can only enjoy a moment when you’re truly in it–physically, mentally and most definitely, sexually. Only when you are in the moment can you truly see what’s turning your partner on, what’s making them moan, sigh in sweet pleasure, what are you doing that’s making them want more of you? And of course, you can always ask but here’s a secret, it’s a lot sexier when you read their body and let their reactions guide you to the right direction. And the best bonus? Being truly present will not only make you good in bed but it will make you feel sooooooo good in bed too! Because when you’re focussing on what’s happening, you’re enhancing all that pleasure you’re feeling!
3. How well do you know yourself?
Before jumping into bed with anyone, it’s important to be in bed with yourself. Alone. That’s right, take some time out to explore the wonderland that is your body and get to know what you like and especially, love, during intimacy. It’s only when you know yourself sexually that you can help someone else get to know you sexually. Making the whole experience pleasurable for everyone involved. And of course, if you’re having a little difficulty, our diverse range of massagers are ready to help you connect with yourself better! Women experiencing vaginismus have particularly loved LIT–our suction massager that has empowered them to revel in the throes of pleasure without any hint of anxiety!
Remember, being good in bed isn’t just about what you give. Intimacy is about giving and taking and often, we overlook the taking part when we are reviewing our performance. It’s not only important to be a good giver, it’s equally important to be a good receiver! Communicate with your partner on what you want and exactly how you want it and watch the experience transform into something transcendental!
4. How confident are you?
Confidence is always sexy, but here's a secret: real confidence doesn’t come from having great abs or looking like a supermodel. It comes from self-acceptance. Because when you’re comfortable in your own skin, when you accept yourself for your beauty, booty, and flaws, you radiate an irresistible vibe!
Of course, in this Instagram era, self confidence is tough. Everyone struggles with something they don’t love about themselves, whether it’s physical or mental. So here’s a small tip from your confident Aunty Sassy: everytime you find yourself talking down to yourself, ask yourself, if my friend was feeling like this, what would I say to them and how would I say it to them? More often than not, we are much kinder to our friends than we are to ourselves. And remember, at the end of the day, a body’s main job is to keep us alive. So if you’re alive, your body is already killing it!
Alright, dearest horniest readers, by now, you know that being good in bed is a full-body, full-mind, full-you experience. And here's the best part: there’s no fancy trick you need to learn. Being an amazing lover is an evolving, playful, sexy journey that you’re already on!
So, here’s your new mantra: Get to know yourself. Own your desires. Show up with confidence, love, and a playful spirit. And when it comes to your health, your mental space, and your connection with your body—treat them like the sexy assets they are. Take care of them, because when you do, you’ll show up in the bedroom like the badass lover you’re destined to be.
And finally, the answer to the dreadful question, “Am I good in bed?” Well, once again, that’s only something YOU can answer. Aunt Sassy’s just here to cheer you on.
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About the Author
Vidisha is a screenplay writer who also loves writing the occasional blogs. She's smitten by all things funny, sassy, and creative. And has the penchant for cracking the odd joke. She also wrote this bio.
