Think about the last time you masturbated. Your mood, the feeling, the music you'd put on. Now, what if you were to do this with your partner?

Your partner is right there, touching themselves as you touch your own self. You keep eyes on them and move your hands over your sweet spot. Or, how about having your partner’s fingers inside you as you move your fingers around them? Uff, it’s getting too hot for me to handle.

What we just visualized are actually two flavors of mutual masturbation : and trust me, they're both finger-lickin' good. First up, you've got the classic side-by-side action - masturbating together, vibing off each other's energy. The second is, cranking it up a notch by simultaneously stimulating each other’s genitals.

Let us talk about the first thought in your mind - why bother with just masturbation when you're both in the same room? There’s so much more you can do, right?

Firstly, it's like a crash course in your partner's pleasure preferences. You get a front-row seat to witness how they like to be touched.

Second, it’s one of the most intimate things you can do as a couple. You see, masturbation has always been a behind-closed-doors affair, a solo act. So, to actually let someone else view you while you touch yourself becomes an act of vulnerability. You are literally sharing something that has always been only meant for you.

Also, there are other cherries on the top! No worries about STDs crashing the party, painless orgasms and a chance to explore beyond the boundaries of traditional penetration.

Now that I’ve given you so many reasons to give mutual masturbation a shot, I’m not going to leave you at just that. We’re going to also see how to make this HOOOOOOTTTERRRRRRR!

1. Don’t just sit, set it :

The light, sound, smell, taste and touch around you counts. Hit play on that killer playlist, beats that make you want to dance in your undies. And oh, don't forget the scented candle - it's not just about the glow; it's about infusing the air with a scent that whispers, "Tonight's gonna be off the charts." Dim the lights for the mood. It all counts!

2. Look me in the eye!

Things take a spicy turn when your partner locks eyes with you. You feel confident and vulnerable at the same time. The room starts heating up as you focus on someone else and you feel the focus on you as you do something that you usually, only privately do. And hey, if you're feeling extra adventurous, throw a mirror into the mix! Soak in the view of yourself and your partner as you lock eyes via a mirror, while getting a view of your bodies too.

3. Get Kinky :

I will always say this everytime I write to you - go all out on the kink! Picture your partner leaning in and commanding, “You can look, but hands off, baby.” Take it up a notch by laying down the law: "Eyes on me, no distractions."  Imagine that you’re super close to an orgasm and your partner denies it.

(Of course, a quick disclaimer: Always lay down the ground rules for your kinky endeavors upfront. Otherwise, denying someone an orgasm might just lead to you never seeing them orgasm anyway.)

4. Sex toys, obviously!

Seriously, I can't sing the praises of sex toys loud enough. You can have a display of sex toys right in front of you, right from Salty to Taco. As both of you move sex toys around yourselves (after you add our amazing lubricant to the scene, obviously!), the moans in the room will keep getting louder and louder. And you know what the best part is? Assured multiple orgasms in the same amount of mutual masturbation time!

5. Pick the phone up :

While this is a great tip for all long distance relationship couples (or if your friend with benefits has now moved across a border) - this works great even for someone in the same city. Imagine the thrill of denying yourself the pleasure of someone you usually have on speed dial for a quick makeout session.

As your hands touch yourselves and the phone is on speaker, slowly describe what you’re wearing and how you’re taking it off. Talk about how you’re touching yourself, and how you feel while touching yourself that way. Give commands that can turn the heat up, directing your partner's every move.

But, hold on, the show doesn't start when the call connects. Lay the groundwork with teasing texts and steamy snaps hours before you actually get on a call. Now, isn’t that a wonderful way to spice up the usual ‘meet me in 10’ routine?

6. Take your time :

Solo sessions are, more often than not, a race against time—quick, efficient, and done. This might be because you have other things to do, or your mom might come in or maybe because the goal is only to pleasure yourself and climax. But, when doing it with a partner, take it slow. Savor each moment. Let your partner see and feel you. Allow your gaze to meander, appreciating the curves, the contours, and the desires on their body. Remember the purpose : it’s not just a climax, but sultry, unadulterated fun!

7. Make your own porn show :

Time to turn up the heat with your very own X-rated production. Documenting the raw, unfiltered sounds of passion—moans, heavy breaths, their hands moving around their / your body can be really freaking hot. And here's where it gets even hotter: the playback. The lights low, the atmosphere thick with anticipation, and your recorded passion serving as the backdrop for your next rendezvous. It's like your very own custom-made erotica!

But, I can’t emphasize enough on this - take all precautions super seriously. While it’s not impossible to keep your videos safe - it’s a risk in this heavy digital world.

8. Sensation play :

I’m a sucker (yes, pun intended) for stimulation in any and all different ways. Let your partner run ice on your body (or hold it on the same spot until you can take it, hehe) as you touch yourself. You can blindfold your partner (check out this really cool Tie to help you from That Sassy Thing), make the touching themselves a bit hotter, and longer - and whisper filthy stuff in their ear. Your imagination is the only boundary, really!

Ahh, after penning down all the tips, I have a tinge. Brb besties, need to go and make my mutual masturbation call. Hoping that you're picking up your phone and calling them up right away as well :)

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About the Author 

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.