VDAY SALE | FLAT 50% OFF SITEWIDE
JOIN THE SEXUAL WELLNESS REVOLUTION

Swipe Left on Dating Burnout: How to Cope Without Losing Your Sanity

Swipe Left on Dating Burnout: How to Cope Without Losing Your Sanity

This Dating Sunday—the First Sunday after New Year’s, when dating apps light up like Christmas trees—I reopened Hinge. Fresh out of a situationship with a guy who thought lack of clarity was a personality trait, I was drained. In your late twenties, when you’re serious about finding a partner and craving companionship, every day being single can feel like a wasted one. So, I jumped back in. The first match from a guy came with the line: “Your eyes are pretty, where can I get those?” What does that even mean? Swipe left. The next one: “You’re under arrest; it’s criminal to look this good.” Yawn. Heard that one before. Moving on. Then came: “Hi, I want to be your servant, fulfill all your wishes, and even offer you money.” Hard pass. A few more matches were either dull, lacked decent prompts, or were littered with half-naked gym selfies and hookah-blowing guys. So much for all the stats promising better matches and higher chances of meeting the one on the first Sunday of the year. My Dating Sunday was a trainwreck, and within 10 minutes, I was so over it that I uninstalled the app. Again.

And I know I’m not alone. Chatting with girlfriends, and guy friends, across office chai breaks, Reddit threads, and social gatherings – especially among singles – the consensus is clear: dating apps and dating are exhausting. Even on the apps themselves, I see prompts like, “Tired of reinstalling this. Don’t engage if you plan to ghost.” It feels like we’re stuck in an epidemic of endless swiping, where the illusion of choice leaves us with no one worth vibing with. And if you do connect with someone? You might go on a few dates, only to eventually 

Burnout is real!

Yes, burnout is real, even if it’s not an official diagnosis. According to a 2024 Forbes Health study, 78% of dating app users say they’re emotionally, mentally, or physically drained by the experience. Clinical psychologist Yasmine Saad in this article notes that 3 out of 4 people she works with use dating apps, and a staggering 80–90% report feeling this kind of fatigue at some point.

Years of swiping have left many people feeling jaded – burnout, a term borrowed from workplace stress, now perfectly sums up dating fatigue too. The New York Times, in this article,  described burnout as leaving people feeling depleted and cynical. For some, the only escape is to quit apps cold turkey. For others, it’s about setting boundaries and finding smaller ways to cope.

Abhilash, a 28-year-old UX researcher, has sworn off dating apps for good. “It’s an endless, rotting cycle,” he says. “I log in, swipe, meet someone, and think—‘Hey, this girl could actually be the one.’ But it always ends in disappointment. I even tried attending hobby classes, hoping to meet someone organically, but no one seemed to know what they wanted. I’m not here for casual hookups or temporary connections only to have them ghost me. Honestly, I’m just done starting over every single time.”

After reading endless experiences on Reddit and analysis online, I have come to the conclusion that dating apps are like casinos – designed to keep you hooked, not happily coupled. Their algorithms thrive on endless swiping, serving up just enough semi-decent options to keep you hopeful, but not so many good matches that you actually leave. Think about it: these platforms profit from monthly subscriptions, boosts, and premium features, all sold with the promise of "better" matches, while the elusive perfect partner stays out of reach. Psychologists call it a variable reward system – the same trick slot machines use – where inconsistent payouts keep you addicted. So, are they really helping you find love, or just ensuring you stay single enough to keep swiping?

Dating burnout in India isn’t just about being tired of bad pick-up lines. It is an intersection of societal pressure, post-pandemic alienation, and a generation redefining what love even means. So, when people say they’re done with dating, can you really blame them?

A cocktail of socio-economic-political realities 

It is not just an app problem—it’s a symptom of modernity. In India, where the pressure to find “the one” often comes with a family WhatsApp group running commentary on your single status, the emotional toll is real. Add socio-economic shifts, like the rising cost of living and urban migration, and dating feels more like a second job than a romantic adventure. A 2023 survey found that 70% of Indian singles feel overwhelmed by the sheer effort of dating, with societal expectations and work-life imbalance topping the list of stressors. Let’s not forget the pandemic, which threw a massive wrench into everyone’s love life. Extended lockdowns and social distancing forced singles into virtual dating hell, leaving many emotionally disconnected and longing for deeper bonds in real life. According to a Mint report, many young people were left feeling lonelier post-pandemic, but the energy to re-engage with dating feels like dragging yourself to a treadmill after a month of binge eating.

And then there’s the shifting cultural tide. Millennials and Gen Z, grappling with political and economic instability, are questioning traditional relationships altogether. More and more young people are questioning the idea of marriage. Every second person you meet is commitment-phobic citing personal growth or career goals. This mindset is leading to what experts call “decision fatigue.” With so many factors to consider – education, career, family compatibility – dating starts to feel like a high-stakes project plan, not a natural connection. The cherry on top? Gender dynamics. In a society where women are breaking barriers but still face archaic expectations in relationships, it’s no surprise that many are opting out of the emotional labor of dating altogether. Now throw in social inequalities glaring at us, an unstable economy making it hard to plan for the future, and the looming shadow of climate change threatening, well, everything, it’s hard not to feel like the entire planet is one giant ticking time bomb.

Sneha, a 31-year-old PhD scholar, shares a different but equally disillusioned perspective. “I was in a relationship for five years, but we broke up when he moved abroad for studies. It shattered me. I tried dating again, but I never met anyone who felt worth the time and energy. By the time I hit 25, it clicked – I couldn’t spend more years of my life investing in men who might eventually just leave. Why not choose myself if I’m never going to be someone else’s first choice? So, I shifted focus to my academic life and now I’m working on my PhD.” She pauses before adding, “Academic life is grueling; you barely get time for yourself. I’ve been single for seven years now, and honestly, I’m okay with it. Relationships just feel like too much effort.”

So how do you deal with this generational hazard which can end up making you feel exhausted, lonely, and anxious? Let us tackle it step by step.

How to deal with it?

Whenever I rant about my chaotic dating life, people always say the same thing: “Just focus on yourself, love yourself, and love will come along.” Ugh. My immediate reaction? Punch them. But honestly, in quieter moments of reflection, I can’t deny there’s truth in it. When we see finding a partner as a way to fill some kind of void in our lives, we set ourselves up for disappointment. It piles on so many unnecessary expectations that we forget we’re dealing with humans – flawed, imperfect, messy humans.

Depending on someone else to define your self-worth isn't a wise thing. Appealing, yes. But wise, absolutely not. Relationships should never be about “completing” you. Instead, they should be about complementing the fabulous, whole person you already are. The goal is to invest in yourself first – grow, evolve, and become so damn amazing that you don’t need anyone else to validate your existence. That way, when someone does come into your life, it’s a beautiful addition, not a desperate necessity.

By focusing on yourself, you’re more likely to attract the kind of people who respect and appreciate the wonderful person you’ve become. When you radiate self-assurance and joy, it naturally draws others toward you.

So yeah, maybe the advice isn’t as annoying as it sounds. Don’t look at love or dating as the thing that will save you from loneliness. Look at it as a cherry on top of the already fabulous sundae that is you. And even if you never find that cherry? The sundae’s still pretty damn good.

Another way to handle burnout is to stop treating dating like a part-time job. If apps feel like an endless chore, take a break. Deleting them isn’t giving up, it is just setting boundaries. Use the time to reconnect with yourself or pursue interests that have nothing to do with finding a partner. Take up pottery, learn a new language, or finally finish that book gathering dust on your shelf. A massage chair or an at-home massager might also be the perfect companion – it’ll never interrupt you mid-rant, gaslight your feelings, or bail on plans. And hey, it might just deliver O’s that melt your stress away faster than a bad date’s excuses. Physical relaxation can do wonders when emotional exhaustion takes over.

And when the emotional baggage feels especially heavy, lean on your support system. Friends, family, or even a therapist can help you process the frustration and loneliness without judgment. And if you’re not ready to share your dating horror stories over chai, there’s always journaling. Writing about your experiences can offer unexpected clarity and even make you laugh at how absurd modern dating can be.

Finally, remind yourself that it’s not all on you. Burnout isn’t a personal failing; it’s the byproduct of a society that glorifies finding "the one" while simultaneously making it harder than ever. You’re not broken for feeling tired—you’re human. Step back, recharge, and when you’re ready, get back out there on your terms. Or don’t. Either way, you’re enough.

Also, check out our blogs on Understanding slow sex and what is a kink and its types to improve your knowledge of sexual health.

 

Written by Disha 

Bio: Disha (she/her) believes she's half therapist because people spill their guts to her with ease. But for now, she's writing sassy pieces on the internet about all things fun and pop culture. With a flair for wit and a curious spirit, she is all about digging into the saucy details of human intimacy. 

Explore our Products

  • LIT Massager
    LIT Massager
    LIT Massager

    LIT Massager

    With unique suction tech for a 👄 like feeling

    2,100.00 Sale price 4,199.00
    Regular price
    Added to Cart! View cart or continue shopping.
    Unit price per
  • brown coloured salty mini wand personal massager
    brown coloured salty mini wand personal massager
    Salty Massager
    Salty Massager
    Salty Massager

    Salty Massager

    A discreet & powerful mini wand massager to shake you up

    1,900.00 Sale price 3,799.00
    Regular price
    Added to Cart! View cart or continue shopping.
    Unit price per
  • og personal massager for women
    Og women personal massager
    Backup - OG Massager

    Backup - OG Massager

    A versatile massager that goes in & out to please your hotspots

    4,799.00 Sale price 4,999.00
    Regular price
    Added to Cart! View cart or continue shopping.
    Unit price per

Similar Reads

Read our

Guides for you


The absolute best guides for upscaling your bedroommagic, curated just for you on Instagram.

(0)

YOUR CART

Your cart is currently empty