When it comes to gifting, I suck. Seriously. The whole “what do I even get her?!” dilemma turns into a full-blown crisis every time. Because I can’t just see gifts as things. It’s not about the price tag; it’s about the reaction. I want my best friend to open my gift and immediately break into that wide, ridiculous, “you absolute legend” kind of smile.  

So, what makes a gift an absolute banger? Something she can’t afford? Maybe. But more importantly—something she won’t buy for herself. That’s what I zero in on. The “I’d never get this for me, but I need this” category of gifts. And you know what sits at the very top of that list? Vibrators.  

Hear me out.  

My first vibrator wasn’t something I picked out myself. It was a gift from my ride-or-die girl gang on Valentine’s Day two years ago—at a time when I was single AF and beyond exhausted from the human landfill that is dating apps. I’d gone on too many dates with men who claimed they were Casanovas, only to find out they had the bedroom skills of a potato. 

I was deprived. And my best friends knew it.  

So, they did what any true friends would do: they handed me the power to take control of my own damn pleasure.  

Now, could I have bought a vibrator myself? Technically, yes. But mentally? No. Society loves to make women feel weird about their own pleasure. There was taboo. There was a stigma. There were too many questions—about whether it was “necessary,” about what it meant if I used one, about how the hell I’d even store it without it screaming HELLO I AM A VIBRATOR from my nightstand.  

But the moment my friends handed it to me, all those hesitations disappeared. And let me tell you—life-changing doesn’t even begin to cover it.  

Aap convince ho gaye, ki main aur bolun? (IYKYK.)  

Actually, you know what? Let me say more. Here’s exactly why you should be the friend who gifts your bestie a vibrator.

The ‘Emergency Contact’ Gift  

Your best friend has been in the worst dating drought. Not even a tumbleweed has rolled through her love life. She’s started making eye contact with baristas for too long just to feel something. The worst part? She keeps texting you at 2 AM saying, "Maybe I should text my ex?"  

No. No, she should not.  

This is where you step in. A vibrator isn’t just a gift; it’s an emergency contact for when she's about to make questionable decisions. Instead of texting the ex who ghosted her (but still watches her Instagram stories religiously), she can have a little self-care session and suddenly—miraculously—realize she doesn’t need him. That’s the power of the right gift.  

The ‘Missed Call Payback’ Plan  

Does your friend have a habit of ignoring your calls? You know she sees them. You know she hears the rings. But does she answer? No. Does she text back? Only if you send a second message with "HELLO??"  

So what do you do? You buy her a vibrator. And with it, you include a simple note:  

"Every time you use this, remember you still owe me a call back."  

Suddenly, your phone rings more often. Coincidence? I think not.  

The ‘Workaholic Wake-Up Call’ 

We all have that one friend who has become her job. She’s basically a corporate hostage. Every time you ask if she’s free for drinks, she replies, "I have a deadline." She hasn’t been on a date since pre-pandemic. She calls her laptop "bae."  

This woman needs a reset button. Enter: the vibrator. Attach a little card that says, "Consider this part of your work-life balance." Because, let’s be real—she schedules everything else in her life. She might as well schedule this, too. And who knows? With a little less stress, she might finally close her laptop before midnight.  

The ‘Bridal Shower Chaos’ Moment  

I know how difficult it is to pick the perfect bachelorette gift for a friend who is getting married, and you know that at her bridal shower, she’s going to be bombarded with "Live, Laugh, Love" signs, beige dish towels, and a slow cooker she did not register for.  

You? You show up with a game-changer. A sleek, high-tech, beautifully designed vibrator that’ll make all the grandmas in the room clutch their pearls.  

As she opens it, silence falls. Then, her cool aunt whispers, "Damn, where’d you get that?"  

Congratulations. You’ve officially won the bridal shower.  

The ‘Unsolicited Advice Deflection’  

Is your friend tired of hearing, "You’re such a catch! Why are you still single?" She can’t go to a family gathering without someone asking about her love life like it’s a group project they’re all invested in.  

Solution? Gift her a vibrator and tell her, "Next time someone asks why you’re still single, just say, ‘Because I have higher standards than my grandmother did.’"  

Game. Set. Match.  

The ‘Annoying Roommate Problem Solver’

Her roommate keeps bringing her boyfriend over. They take up the entire couch. They whisper loudly in the next room. The boyfriend somehow never contributes to rent but drinks all the oat milk.  

You hand her a vibrator and say, "If she gets to bring her boyfriend over every night, you get to have your own fun too. Loudly."  

Her roommate might rethink things really quickly.  

The ‘Revenge Against Mediocre Men’ Gift  

Your best friend just got out of a relationship with a guy who thought foreplay was saying, "So, should we...?" He had the nerve to tell her, "Women are just harder to please," as if the issue wasn’t him.  

You hand her a vibrator and say, "This one has more stamina, better rhythm, and—best of all—it won’t ghost you."  

Her healing journey? Accelerated.  

Final Thought: Be a Gifting Legend  

A vibrator isn’t just a gift. It’s a solution to so many of life’s ridiculous problems. It’s practical, it’s personal, and it’s way better than another bottle of perfume.  

So go ahead. Wrap it up. Stick a bow on it. And when she opens it, just give her a wink and say, "You can thank me later."

And don’t forget the water-based lube—it’s the ultimate sidekick for a smooth, no-fuss experience. Whether she’s flying solo or adding some extra spice, a little glide makes all the difference. Because the best gifts don’t just bring joy—they bring orgasms too.