Let’s be real—bringing sex toys into your love life can feel like navigating a minefield of “Will they think I’m replacing them?” and “What if they feel weird about this?” But here’s the thing: sex toys aren’t about replacement; they’re about enhancement. When introduced thoughtfully, they can bring you closer, spice things up, and lead to next-level orgasms.  

Here’s how to do it right, along with insights from Reddit users who’ve been through it and expert-backed advice to make the transition smooth (and sexy).  

Understand That Insecurities Are Normal

Introducing a vibrator, dildo, or other toy might stir feelings of insecurity. Many people worry they’re being replaced or that their partner thinks they’re “not enough.”  

What people say: 

Feeling replaced: User u/que_he_hecho shared, 

“When my wife suggested a vibrator, I felt like I was failing her. It took a few conversations to realize she wasn’t replacing me—it was something we could enjoy together.”  

Inadequacy fears: u/PsycologicalWall196 said, 

“My boyfriend felt insecure at first, but once we used it together, he saw it wasn’t about him being inadequate. It was about exploring something new as a team.”  

Takeaway? If your partner has doubts, you’re not alone. A little reassurance goes a long way. 

Talk It Out Like Adults (But Keep It Fun)

No one loves an awkward conversation about sex, but communication is non-negotiable.  

How to start the convo:

- Keep it casual: “I read about this sex toy that couples are using, and it sounds fun—what do you think?”  

- Frame it as teamwork: “What if we tried this together to see what we like?”  

What the experts say:

Therapist-certified tip: Sexologist Megan Fleming says that presenting toys as a way to add to your connection, not replace it, is key. (And yes, that means no saying, “Well, my ex loved it!” Not helpful.)  

Make It a Joint Adventure

Shopping for sex toys together can make the process feel collaborative instead of one-sided. Plus, it’s a great way to bond and laugh about all the, um, interesting designs out there.  

Pro tip: Go for a neutral, couple-friendly toy, like a vibrator or something designed for dual stimulation. You can always level up later.  

Reddit wisdom:

u/pzreich says, “It's going to be a bonding experience since it opens up the conversation around sexual preferences/ likes/ dislikes/ interests, etc. You may find yourself learning stuff about your partner and yourself that you didn’t really consider before.”

Toys = Togetherness, Not Competition

Sex toys aren’t your rivals; they’re your teammates. They can do things your body can’t (hello, vibrations at 10,000 RPM), but that doesn’t mean you’re “less than.”  

What the experts say:

- Licensed therapist Dr. Tammy Nelson explains, “Toys can actually relieve performance pressure, allowing both partners to focus on pleasure rather than perfection.”  

How toys bring you closer:

Shared exploration: Using a toy together means more communication, new sensations, and a shared journey to orgasm town.  

Confidence booster: Many partners report that seeing their significant other enjoy a toy is a turn-on, not a turn-off.  

Remember: Toys Are Tools, Not Replacements

Let’s clear this up: no matter how fancy the toy is, it’s not going to replace the emotional intimacy, connection, and love you bring to the bedroom.  

Reddit reassurance: 

u/OfcHesCanadian argues, “Toys are just to help the pleasure of you and your partner.”  

u/aldoXazami says, “We have a fantastic sex life because pleasing me is his first concern.”  

Final Thoughts: Let the Good Times Roll

Introducing sex toys doesn’t have to be awkward or uncomfortable. With open communication, mutual respect, and a sense of humor, you can turn a potentially sticky situation into a bonding experience.  

So, grab your partner, pick out something fun, and get ready to take your bedroom game from good to “OMG, we need a round two!”

About the author: 

Madhu (she/her) has been an avid reader of all things spicy since her childhood. She writes sassy blog posts and listicles now so that others may benefit from her wholly inappropriate, wholly informative tastes too.