A joyful spiral into the deliciously deviant things we all secretly—or not secretly at all—love.

You ever ask someone to scratch that one itchy spot on your back—and then boss them around like “a little to the left–harder! Yeah, now go lower”?

That’s sensation play with a touch of control.

You like being tied up a little with a dupatta during makeout sessions? That’s soft bondage in desi disguise.  

You enjoy being teased until you whimper for that last fry, that kiss, that orgasm? That’s edging, baby.  

Let’s just say it—kink isn’t your stereotypical leather, latex, and someone named "Mistress Viper". It’s everywhere, in everyday interactions, quiet moments of control and surrender, in playfulness, in power. 

Everyday Kinks in Disguise

• Letting someone else order for you at a restaurant = light submission.

• That time someone bit your neck and you couldn’t stop thinking about it? Hello, pain and sensory play.

• Saying “Be a good boy/girl and finish your task” = gentle dom vibes.

• Loving the build-up of anticipation before sex? Edging and denial play would like a word.  

• Deliberately watching a tragic movie just to cry for 2 hours = classic emotional masochism.

Kink is a spectrum, and you don’t have to be in whips and chains to be a little kinky. You’re welcome.

Kink in Pop Culture: Who Got It Right, and Who... Absolutely Didn’t?

The Not-So-Kinky Tragedies:

• 50 Shades of Grey — The poster child for everything that can go wrong when you confuse kink with control issues. Christian Grey isn’t kinky—he’s a manipulative asshole who doesn’t negotiate.

• 365 Days — Looks like kink, feels like kidnapping. Zero consent. No conversations. Just aesthetic chaos. Ugh.

The Surprisingly Kinky Delights:

• Sex Education — From Ola and Lily’s tender, lowkey awkward journey into their kinks, to exploring asexuality, senstations, and power. It’s messy, honest, and refreshingly real.

• Brooklyn 99 — Jake Peralta? Certified sub. He loves praise, follows rules (when Amy sets them), and totally lives for being bossed around by Amy Santiago, queen of competence. Their dynamic is tender and loving power play wrapped in sitcom gold.

• Normal People — That scene where Connell asks, “Is this okay?” mid-sex, over and over again? Consent king. And Marianne’s desire for pain? Real. Their exploration of kink is messy but rooted in care, not just lust.

• New Girl (Schmidt) — The man has a costume box. He’s into dirty talk, being spanked, playing sub to Cece’s unbothered queen energy. What makes it work? He owns his desires, talks about them, and finds partners who match his kink-flavoured vibe.
  

Let’s Talk Kink and Consent

Consent is the foreplay, the safe word, the ‘getting to it’, and the aftercare. It’s the real sexiness.  

No one’s having a good time if someone’s not actually, enthusiastically saying yes.

And it’s more than a formality—it’s a whole vibe. Consent has to be:

• Ongoing: One “yes” doesn’t cover ten different acts. Just because they said yes to being lightly bitten doesn’t mean they want you to break skin.

• Informed: Know what you're agreeing to. One can’t just jump into things without knowing what it entails. They have to know the risks that come with rope-play, because if the tied-up person doesn’t know what the numbness in their fingers indicates, it can lead to nerve damage.

• Enthusiastic: ‘Meh’ is not a mood we want. Unless they’re eager to have you blindfold them, don’t do it.

• Negotiated: You talk, you plan, you check in. Constantly. Before, during, after. 

Great kink isn’t spontaneous chaos—it's a sexy collaboration. Think of it as building the tension together.

Want to Bring Kink into the Bedroom? Here’s How to Start

You’ve been fantasizing about being spanked, or pinning your partner down, or doing a scene where they’re the boss and you’re the very bad secretary. But how do you say it without sounding like you're auditioning for a questionable Youtube series?

Try these conversation starters:

• "Can I tell you something that turned me on recently?" (Builds curiosity.)

• "Would you be open to trying something playful and a little naughty?" (Soft approach.)

• "Want to take a kink quiz together for fun?" (Low-pressure and revealing.)

• "I read this book/scene/idea and thought… damn." (Let the fantasy do the talking.)

Pro tip: If you're nervous, text it. Or say it when you're already being flirty. Or blame it on something “silly” you read online. Or write them an email. The goal isn’t to get everything perfect—it’s to open the door to this realm. 

Final Thoughts

Kink isn’t a secret, members-only society. It’s curiosity. It’s honesty. It’s being courageous enough to say: “This is what excites me” to your partner(s)! 

And when someone meets you in that moment—with openness, trust, and a matching sparkle in their eye—that’s the real magic.

So go ahead, experiment, negotiate, giggle through the awkward moments.

Start small. Send a spicy meme. Play with eye contact. Use scarves, silk ties, or yes—your dupatta. Light teasing. Slow blindfolding. And always, ask, listen, respect.

Because chances are?  

You’re already a little kinky.  

You just haven’t called it that yet.

Curious about kink? Don’t overlook sex toys, vibrators, and lube. A vibrator can amplify sensation play or edging, while lube ensures smooth exploration—whether you’re experimenting with soft bondage (dupatta included!) or sensory teasing. Sex toys aren’t just accessories; they’re collaborators in your kinky curiosity.

About the Author: 

Madhu (she/her) has been an avid reader of all things spicy since her childhood. She writes sassy blog posts and listicles now so that others may benefit from her wholly inappropriate, wholly informative tastes, too.