Let’s face it: when it comes to bedroom adventures, we've all had those moments where things... wrap up a little too quickly. One moment, you're all set for an epic fun night, the mood is perfect, and then, boom – the fireworks go off before the show even starts. Premature ejaculation might be the uninvited guest at the party, but guess what? It's more common than you think, and we've got the lowdown on how to keep the festivities going strong.

According to a study featured in International Journal of Reproductive Biomedicine, Premature ejaculation or PE is a common sexual problem encountered by men in day-to-day life. It affects about 20-30% of men in the sexually active age group leading to psychological stress and loss of self-esteem, which causes adverse effects on the quality of life, of both the person and the partner. 

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation has been defined in many ways over the years, with the initial focus on how long a man could last before his partner reached orgasm. Early on, it was described as "the inability of a man to delay ejaculation long enough for his partner to reach orgasm on 50% of intercourse attempts." While this brought attention to the issue, it had a glaring flaw – it depended on the woman's ability to climax, making it a bit tricky to pin down. Definitions from various experts and professional bodies often missed the mark, being vague and lacking specific criteria, which left clinicians scratching their heads.

Fast forward to 1980, when the American Psychiatric Association released the DSM-3. They tried to tighten things up, but terms like "reasonable voluntary control" were so ambiguous that they didn't help much. The DSM-IV added "short ejaculation time" but still fell short by not specifying what "short" actually meant. Then came the International Statistical Classification of Disease's 10th edition in 1994, boldly claiming that ejaculation within 15 seconds post-penetration was rapid ejaculation– a definition that didn't quite stand the test of time or evidence.

Finally, in the 2000s, the International Society for Sexual Medicine stepped in, pulling together a dream team of experts to nail down a better definition. By 2013, they agreed on a three-part definition that considered short ejaculatory latency, perceived lack of control, and the negative consequences like distress and frustration. This comprehensive approach aimed to address the inconsistencies and bring some much-needed clarity to the world of early ejaculation. So, while definitions have evolved, the goal remains the same: helping folks have a more satisfying and stress-free time between the sheets.

Causes of rapid ejaculation: Is it the stress?

When it comes to premature ejaculation, our minds can be quite the tricksters. Anxiety, stress, and relationship drama often stir the pot, making things wrap up quicker than expected. This is not me speaking, this is what has been written in this study by Dr Stanley Althof, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. 

Psychodynamic gurus might say it’s all about those unconscious hang-ups—think hidden hostile feelings, a bit too much narcissism, or even a fear of the vagina (yep, you read that right). For instance, if you're harbouring some deep-seated resentment or unresolved conflicts, your body might be in a rush to get things over with, leading to a speedy finish.

Meanwhile, behavioural experts blame it on not tuning into your own excitement levels or from early experiences of rushed intimacy. Picture this: your first few encounters were quickies in the backseat of a car, always on edge about getting caught. Your body learned to hit the fast-forward button, and now it’s stuck in that mode. Not being aware of your arousal levels can also mean you’re not catching the signals that things are escalating too quickly.

Cognitive therapists dive into the mental mess, pointing fingers at negative thoughts like catastrophizing or mind reading. Say you’re in bed, and suddenly, your brain goes, “What if I finish too soon? She’ll think I’m terrible!” That kind of pressure can make your body speed up the process. Or, if you’re trying to predict your partner’s thoughts and assuming the worst, it can trigger anxiety that leads to a quick finish instead of strategies to improve sex time.

And let’s not forget relationship therapists, who highlight dynamics like power and control issues, as well as emotional and sexual intimacy struggles. Imagine you and your partner are constantly butting heads about everything. That tension can spill into the bedroom, making it hard to relax and enjoy the moment. Or maybe there’s a lack of emotional connection, making sex feel more like a performance, ramping up the anxiety and the urge to finish quickly.

How does it impact relationships?

When premature ejaculation crashes the party, it can take a toll on both sexual satisfaction and intimacy. Studies show that couples dealing with early ejaculation often report lower levels of sexual satisfaction. According to research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, rapid ejaculation can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and even resentment in both partners, which can put a strain on the relationship.

Take my friends G and P, for example. G struggles with early ejaculation, and it’s starting to affect their closeness. P feels unsatisfied and wonders if it’s something she’s doing wrong, while G feels embarrassed and avoids initiating sex. This creates a vicious cycle where the lack of communication and intimacy makes the problem worse. However, by addressing the issue together and seeking help, they can break the cycle and rebuild their connection. After all, a satisfying sex life is a team effort, and overcoming rapid ejaculation can bring couples closer together.  For extra support and excitement, explore our variety of sex toys in India.

Behavioural Techniques

When it comes to battling premature ejaculation, behavioural techniques are like secret weapons in your bedroom arsenal. The start-stop technique, for instance, involves stimulating yourself or your partner until you’re about to climax, then stopping until the urge subsides. This is repeated several times before finally allowing ejaculation. A study in the Journal of Urology found that this technique can significantly improve control over ejaculation and increase sexual satisfaction.

So how do you go about it in the bedroom? Let’s say during your intimate moments, you help your partner by recognising his signals and pausing at the right times. It’s not just effective – it also becomes a fun, playful way to communicate and explore each other's boundaries. Then there’s the squeeze technique, where pressure is applied to the base of the penis when ejaculation is imminent, delaying climax. Combining these techniques can turn rapid ejaculation from a bedroom blunder into an opportunity for more intimate exploration and teamwork.

Changes outside the bedroom make things happier inside 

Believe it or not, what you do outside the bedroom can have a huge impact on your performance inside it. A healthy diet, regular exercise, and stress management can all play a role in managing rapid ejaculation. Another study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine highlighted that men who maintain a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins often experience better sexual health. Exercise, especially cardio, improves blood flow and stamina, which can help delay early ejaculation.

Maybe you love your burgers and pizzas too much and rarely hit the gym. Chances are, the unhealthy lifestyle is gradually affecting your sex life too, and you start experiencing signs of premature ejaculation. It is your cue to realise it is time for a lifestyle overhaul. By swapping fast food for a balanced diet and incorporating regular exercise into the routine, one can notice improvements in sexual performance. Stress is another big player; it can make early ejaculation worse by triggering anxiety. Techniques like mindfulness, yoga, and even simple deep-breathing exercises can help manage stress levels, leading to better control over ejaculation. For added relaxation and control, try using a male massager like our Taco massager. So, next time you’re feeling the pressure, take a deep breath, stretch it out, and remember – a little self-care goes a long way.

Having said that, sometimes, rapid ejaculation isn’t just in your head – it can be purely a physical issue. Conditions like prostate problems, hormonal imbalances, or even nerve damage can contribute to rapid ejaculation. If you’ve tried behavioural techniques, lifestyle changes, and addressed psychological factors without success, it might be time to consult a doctor. A medical evaluation can help identify any underlying health conditions that might be causing early ejaculation. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help; a healthcare provider can offer treatments like medications or refer you to a specialist..

Early ejaculation might feel like a speed bump in your sex life, but with the right strategies and support, you can navigate it smoothly. From tackling psychological factors and trying out behavioural techniques to making lifestyle changes and consulting a doctor, there are plenty of ways to take control and enjoy more satisfying intimacy. Remember, communication and teamwork with your partner are key. So don’t shy away from the conversation—embrace it and work together to find what works best for you both. Explore our playbook on different sex positions to further enhance your knowledge. Here’s to longer, more enjoyable moments in the bedroom!

Frequently Asked Questions on Premature Ejaculation

What causes rapid ejaculation?

Rapid ejaculation can be caused by a mix of psychological factors like stress and anxiety, or physical issues like hormonal imbalances or nerve damage. Sometimes, it’s just your body's quirky response to intimacy.

How common is premature ejaculation?

PE is more common than you might think—about 1 in 3 men experience it at some point. So, you’re definitely not alone in this fast-paced club!

Can premature ejaculation be cured?

Absolutely! With the right combination of behavioural techniques, lifestyle changes, and maybe a bit of professional help, you can manage and even overcome PE. It’s all about finding what works for you. For an extra boost, consider using a massager for men.

When should I see a doctor about premature ejaculation?

If you’ve tried various techniques and nothing seems to work, or if PE is causing significant stress or relationship issues, it’s time to see a doctor. They can help identify any underlying causes and offer effective treatments.

Is premature ejaculation a sign of infertility?

Nope, PE doesn’t affect your fertility. It’s more about the timing than the quality of your sperm. So, while it might be frustrating, it’s not stopping you from starting a family.

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About the Author

Disha (she/her) believes she's half therapist because people spill their guts to her with ease. But for now, she's writing sassy pieces on the internet about all things fun and pop culture. With a flair for wit and a curious spirit, she is all about digging into the saucy details of human intimacy.