Bollywood has ruined us all. We grew up on Shah Rukh stretching his arms in DDLJ, the hero breaking into choreographed songs, and grand proposals under mandaps. But let’s be real, most Indian men are about as un-Bollywood as it gets. Forget rose petals and candlelit dinners; you’re lucky if he remembers your birthday without a Google Calendar reminder.

And yet, here’s the twist: just because your partner isn’t shouting “I love you” from the rooftops doesn’t mean they don’t love you. In India, especially, many men (and plenty of women too!) express love in quiet, practical, everyday ways. Think about your dad bringing your mum her favourite chaat every time he went out, even though he’s never once said “I love you.” That’s romance too, desi edition.

So how do you know if your nonchalant, hoodie-wearing, slightly awkward partner is actually “the one”? Look out for these signs:

1. They’re Your Best Friend

They know your food order better than Zomato does. They’re the first person you text when you get good news—or when the WiFi stops working. You don’t have to “perform” around them; you can be goofy, grumpy, PMS-ing, or binge-watching trashy reality TV, and they’ll still sit next to you, passing the chips.

2. You Can Be 100% Yourself

You don’t feel the need to hold in your burps, hide your oily hair, or pretend you’re “chill” when you’re actually overthinking. If your partner makes you feel safe being your unfiltered, messy, authentic self… That’s way sexier than some “good morning, jaan” WhatsApp routine.

3. You’ve Become a Better Person

A good partner isn’t just there for cuddles! They push you (gently) toward being your best self. Maybe they encourage you to go to therapy, remind you to drink water, or challenge you in ways that make you grow. Love doesn’t always look like heart-eyes emojis; sometimes it looks like “Did you eat? No, two slices of cheese don’t count!”

4. They’re Reliable and Dependable

Grand gestures are cute, but consistency? That’s gold. Do they show up when you’re sick? Do they remember to pick up your meds without being asked? Do they keep promises? Even the small ones like “I’ll call you after work”? Reliability is the real green flag: sexier than six-pack abs and way rarer than snow in Delhi. 

5. The Everyday Love Language

Your partner might not write you poetry, but maybe they plug in your phone when it’s about to die. They might not surprise you with Paris tickets, but maybe they clean your laptop screen when it’s full of fingerprints. Maybe they don’t leave little love notes in your lunch box, but they do pack it. If you look closely, you’ll see their “I love you” sprinkled into daily life like masala on fruit chaat.

How to Sneak In Romance? 

Loom, if you want roses and violins, you don’t have to just sit there waiting for your partner to turn into a Bollywood hero overnight. Try these moves instead:

• Say it like you order pizza. “Extra cheese, please” → “Extra hugs, please.” Simple, direct, delicious.

• Love languages? Make them yours. Maybe your partner shows love by fixing the Wi-Fi instead of whispering sweet nothings. That still counts. Translate accordingly.

• Be the plot twist. Light the candle, plan the surprise, book the dinner. If they’re bad at grand gestures, be the grand gesture.

• Applaud the jugaad romance. Did they get your favourite samosa without you asking? That’s basically their version of writing you poetry. Clap for it.

Final Thoughts

Love doesn’t always look like Shah Rukh running through sarson ke khet. Sometimes it’s your partner making sure you leave for work on time. Sometimes it’s a healthy snack on your desk when you didn’t even know you were hungry. Sometimes it's them insisting you go to bed early because you’ve had a rough day.

So if your partner makes you feel safe, valued, and understood, even in the smallest, everyday ways, they might already be “the one.” Because love doesn’t have to be loud to be real. Sometimes, the most unromantic gestures are actually the most romantic of all.

About the Author

Madhu (she/her) has been an avid reader of all things spicy since her childhood. She writes sassy blog posts and listicles now so that others may benefit from her wholly inappropriate, wholly informative tastes, too.