What Is a Hickey?

(Besides a Giant “I Was Here” Stamp)
Okay, so a hickey is basically a love bruise, a.k.a. your boo’s passionate little signature on your neck, thigh, boob, or wherever they decided to get a lil’ bitey. This happens when someone sucks or kisses your skin with serious pressure. Like, not the cute lil’ peck, we’re talkin’ vacuum cleaner energy.

Why Does a Love Bite Happen?

When someone sucks or kisses a spot on your skin with this intense suction and pleasure, they break tiny blood vessels, called capillaries, under the surface.  And when they break, the blood kinda spills out and gets trapped right under the surface. No open wound or anything, but it’s still a pool party for red blood cells under your skin. The result? A purple-red smooch souvenir that screams, ‘things got spicy last night.’

It’s literally your blood being dramatic, and we love it! Your body eventually cleans the hickey stages up (thanks, immune system), but it can hang around for a few days to a week.

How to Give a Love Bite? 

Never Skip on the Consent, Pls

First rule of the hickey club? Ask before you suck. Period.
Most people default to the neck - it's soft, sensitive, super kissable, and yeah, kinda visibly iconic. It's like the red carpet of love bite real estate. But let’s be real: not everyone’s tryna show up to a 10 AM Zoom meeting looking like they got into a fight with a passionate octopus.

Some girls might feel shy, especially if they’ve been taught to see hickeys as slutty or unprofessional (hi, internalized shame). Others might just not want their HR manager or grandma clocking their business. 

So What Do You Do?

You whisper something sweet like, “Want me to leave you a little secret souvenir?” or “Hidden one or none at all?”  Let them decide. Hickeys don’t need to be loud to be legendary, sometimes the best ones are only for your eyes.

Makeout Sesh

Start with kisses. Lazy, lingering, teasing on the spot, you wanna plant a hickey on. Don’t just dive in like a Roomba on a mission. Let the tension build first.

The ‘O’ is Everything

Part your lips slightly and form an “O” shape. Press your lips onto their skin firmly to seal the air in, like you're creating a lil vacuum. 

Suck It, With Style

Suck hard enough to break tiny blood vessels (aka capillaries), but not so hard they yeet you off the bed. You want moans, not mayday calls. Hold it for 20–30 seconds, or break it into pulses: 10 seconds, kiss, repeat. Keep your teeth out of the way, unless they’re into it and give the green light for a lil nibble.

The Grand Finale

When you’re done, ease off gently. Lay a few soft kisses on the area. It’s sensitive now, so go slow. Then go back to making out or whisper something like “Now you’re officially mine”. 

Wanna go darker?

If your partner's into it, you can totally amp it up. Just go back to the same spot and give it another round of suction action. Or switch it up and hit a fresh area if they’re down. It's like customising a love stamp, but sexier.

Body Parts You Can Give a Hickey On

Hickeys on the neck may be the poster child for passion, but they’re not the only place you can leave your mark. Sure, the neck is iconic - thin skin, packed with nerves, and just the right amount of visibility to make it scandalous. But like I mentioned earlier, not everyone’s down for a visible love stamp, especially if they’ve got office meetings, judgmental relatives, or just don’t wanna show up to brunch looking like a walking NSFW ad.

In that case, say hello to hidden hickey zones, aka your new playground. Spots like the inner thighs are pure gold: the skin is soft, sensitive. Plus it’s dangerously close to the good stuff, so it amps up the tease factor by a thousand. Love bites on the thighs are perfect if you wanna take foreplay from flirty to feral. 

The stomach and lower belly are absolute tease territory too. Also, ofcourse, a hickey on the breast! Whether it’s the curve under a bra, near the nipple, or even between the pecs, a hickey on the breast stays a sexy secret. The hips and hip dips? Another A+ zone. And if you're feeling bold, go for a butt hickey. It's cheeky (literally), unexpected, and gives off “this booty’s mine” energy.

For a more romantic mood, explore the collarbones. They're classic, elegant, and close to the heart. The upper back, inner arms, and even biceps are also up for grabs. They’re intentionally romantic, and even slightly cinematic, in my pov.

How to Get Rid of a Hickey?

(aka “Operation Cover That Sucker Up”)

Don’t panic. Hickeys aren’t forever, and yes, we’ve got hacks for days.

Cold Spoon That Sucker

Straight from grandma’s playbook but it works. Pop a spoon in the freezer for 10-15 mins, then press it gently on the hickey. The cold helps reduce swelling and slows the blood flow. It won’t erase it instantly, but it’ll def help calm the angry purple beast.

Concealer Is Your Bestie

If you’re in “I need to hide this NOW” mode, grab a color corrector. Green cancels out red tones, yellow helps with purple/blue bruising. Layer that with your concealer and blend like your life depends on it. Set it with powder and boomm, no one would be able to clock your spicy night.

The Ol’ Toothbrush Trick (gently tho)

Take a soft-bristle toothbrush and rub the love bite in circular motions for a few minutes. This helps spread the blood under the skin so the bruise fades faster. Follow up with a warm compress after, like a spa day for your hickey on the neck bruise.

Warm Compress (after 48 hours)

Once it’s not fresh-fresh, heat helps increase blood flow and gets things moving. Use a warm cloth and hold it over the spot for a few minutes, a couple times a day. 

Aloe Vera or Peppermint Oil (natural baddie options)

Aloe = soothing queen. Peppermint oil = brings blood circulation to the area and speeds healing. Both are plant-powered and look cute on your shelf.

Wear a Choker, or a Hoodie, or Become a Turtleneck Girly

Sometimes you just need to buy time. No shame in fashioning your way out of it. Oversized hoodies, cute scarves, strategically placed hair? All valid. Hide the evidence until nature does its thing.

How Long Will It Last?

Ah, yes, the million-dollar question. The hickey stage starts off as a  fresh and angry-looking, dark purple or red, then chills into that awkward yellow-green bruise phase. Finally, it ghosts you and fades away. 

Usually, we’re talkin’ 3 to 10 days of wild purple-red drama on your skin. If you bruise like a delicate peach, it might be a whole week. But if you’re lucky with speedy skin, you can totally cut that glow-up time short.

If you wanna speed up the whole process, gentle massage around the area can get the blood moving and say bye-bye to that love bite faster.

A lil’ mark never hurt nobody, in fact, it probably means you had a damn good time.I hope you get one, or give one, tonight!

Author Bio:

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.