In a world where many still shudder at the mere mention of ‘sex’, there lies a secret passage to a plethora of hidden fetishes and kinks. From spanking to bondage, everybody has their own ways of expressing and experiencing. While few people may enjoy popular kink-ish content such as the Fifty Shades trilogy and Wattpad fiction, many others remain tightlipped about all things BDSM. The end goal is to create affirmative spaces for people to hold guilt-free conversations about what kink might mean to them and find partners with similar interests.
We’re here to get deep down and under the common sexual fetishes and kinks that might intrigue, educate, or have been already experienced by you!
Fetish or Kink: Is There a Difference?
YES! Both terms have often been used interchangeably in common parlance, but there are certain distinctions that a renowned sex expert has elaborated upon. Kinks can be defined as specific acts or practices originating from sexual attraction, that go beyond the normative sexual behavior, as defined by one’s culture. Kink significantly differs from fetish in the way that indulging in kink behaviors (or, not) is not a pre-requisite to the experience of pleasure. However, when someone has a fetish, their pleasure is inextricably linked to or even defined by it.
In other words, getting off through certain acts, objects, or body parts could be a preference (kinks) or a need (fetish), and mind you, these can easily overlap. Here’s a list of questions you could ask yourself to determine if these are kinks or different types of fetishes (for you):
Types of Fetishes
Relate to going down Reddit rabbit holes to get your Fetishes 101? Don’t worry, we’ve got you. We did our homework based on insights from a credible sex expert so you can get your lowdown on the most common sexual fetishes. Now, sit tight, follow our lead and let go of your inhibitions:
World at My Feet
Foot fetish, or worship – there are many who get their horny business sorted out by engaging in a little foot-by-foot action, maybe by toying around with their genitals or wiping ‘em toes clean! While foot fetish is widely popular, it also happens to be one of the hidden fetishes for people as they’re often ridiculed and shamed. Here’s what Aunt Sassy says, “There’s no scope for judgment when it comes to the land of various types of fetishes, only communication, and acceptance, boop.”
No, we’re not talking about mosquitos. Rather, many get their jollies just by the thought of getting impregnated. Or, maybe they experience sexual attraction toward mommies-to-be. For people who might enjoy taking that extra risk, and going ahead with unprotected sex, ensure that you’re tested for STI and load up on an all-natural, thicc personal lubricant such as DTF to get you covered for one of the common sexual fetishes.
Booty Lies in the Eyes of the Beholder
You’re all about that base, and we know it! When it comes to the mighty peach, there are but many simps. Be it your derriere itself or the farty party, the way people find pleasure in worshipping that tooshie, can greatly vary. From smelling farts to getting smothered, different folks have their own way of getting a kick outta this hidden fetish!
Ever caught your lover secretly getting a whiff of you down there or your beloved panties? Well, they’re not alone, it’s one of the most common sexual fetishes. Sniffing good old’ undies, wearing someone else’s, or even watching your partner in it can get your horses running. A lot of people might feel shame about how they smell down there, and while their concern is understandable, your huha is supposed to smell like one. No flowers, no flavors, just a distinct musk unique to you so own it up boo, some might even feel sexual attraction for the same!
Most Common Kinks
Edge of Glory
Whether you control the timing, frequency, or duration of orgasm, edging, edge play or layering wins the popular choice award. Edging is a common practice and one of the most widely known kinks used by many to help delay gratification, hereby pushing for more pleasurable experiences. Whether you’re in your own space masturbating or having someone manage when you cum, it can be super hot to be guided by your partner, teased and longing for more.
As we said, you may go solo or with a partner(s), feel free to explore kinks like edge play with some extra help from Aunt Sassy (hint: it comes with 10 different modes).
To Show..or To Watch
Exhibitionism or voyeurism? Maybe you’re a little into both the kinks? If you’re into voyeurism, you may experience sexual attraction or excitement watching others naked or engaging in seggsy time, hearing them while they’re at it, or listening to the experiences of others. Think of an ethical, consent-seeking peeping tom! Exhibitionism is for you if you get turned on just by thinking of or having someone watch you as you masturbate, change or get action. This too is one of the popular kinks.
Sexual or erotic humiliation is one of the widely depicted kinks seen across mainstream porn and pop culture. For many, the feeling of being degraded and being said mean things can be a huge turning point for seeking gratification in bed and may even amp up the sexual attraction. Whether it’s name-calling or making them feel bad about themselves, this also acts as a segue for dirty talk. Be sure to communicate beforehand about the terms your partner might like to be used so you can tap into their needs while also ensuring things don’t go sour while you’re really into it.
Whether you take up roles in real-time or let your imagination run wild, there are various manifestations of role-playing. As one of the frequenting kinks, it can be a saving grace for many couples going through dry spells to wet the grounds, or even take your everyday bedroom shenanigans to level O. Dom dad or submissive sweetheart, there’s plenty of room for experimentation if you’re looking to rev up your sexual attraction.
Psst... Keep These Things in Mind
While the universe of hidden fetishes & kinks remains unexplored for many, those who try to indulge in some often need to keep in mind a few things to help them navigate through different scenarios before, during, and after the play.
Beyond Sexual Attraction (intimacy)
Intimacy is a huge part of experiencing various common sexual fetishes and kinks since it requires trust and vulnerability as a partner to express your needs and act upon them. People often sexualize kinks, fantasies & hidden fetishes without understanding the core values of intimacy, pleasure, and joy.
Fundamentals of Aftercare
Aftercare refers to the acts, practices, or behaviors that partners would like to indulge in after the play. These can range from cuddling, taking a walk, pillow-talk, binge-watching a sitcom, and holding hands to crying, showering together, body rubs, and back massages. Aftercare is truly essential for maintaining comfort while exploring hidden fetishes and kinks in relationships, grounding into reality, and helping to check-in with your partner-in-play.
CCS: Consent, Communicate, Safe Word
Consent is universally applicable across different points before, during, and after engaging in different types of fetishes and kinks. Consent is as easy as FRIES: freely given, reversible & recurring, informed, enthusiastic and specific. You can withdraw your consent at any given point during the act, and this is where having a safe word comes into play while enjoying your kinks. Safe words can be anything, they can be the name of a fruit or that high school teacher you hated. The point is, it’s a big stop sign for all activity to be seized at once. It’s important to acknowledge your partner’s space, whether they need your support or not, and if the support looks physical, emotional, or a mix of both at that moment. There can never be enough ongoing consent and communication, and at Sassy, we’re big on that.
Fetishes, or kinks, you pick your pleasure!