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"Don't keep these here", my mom shrieked as she carefully picked my washed lingerie, placing a towel on it. She continued, "You don't put these things out in the open, your father might see it."
That's all it took to keep acting sneakily with my undies for years to come. I only recently realized how this came as a reflex to me; the shame has been so deeply ingrained in vulva-owners. I used to notice how in every household I’ve ever been to, the lingerie was dried separately in the nooks, under the clothes, and anywhere else your eye couldn’t spot it. Why?
Because, we’ve grown up in a society that declares your ‘intimates’ as being titillating, exciting, and seeking attention from (cishet) men. As someone with a vulva, it is a prerogative to be modest, prude, and shame-ridden. If your bra strap is visible, if your undergarments are out on display, it’s a blasphemous act. Even when I actively renounce such ideas in the present context, it’s harder to get rid of the subtle ways in which these have influenced our relationship with our body, the clothes we wear, and overall self-expression. If you can relate, we see you.
The bigger question: what is it about our lingerie that intimidates?
Simple answer? It’s not the lingerie but what’s underneath it that does. Representation of models in lingerie has been heavily popularized by the media over the years. The objectification, as a result, has been so rampant that the moment someone sees a bra lying around, the next thought is that of breasts. Not a person, just the part. Historically too, the idea of 'tempting' males by dressing provocatively and 'appropriately' showing off their lace or satin undies (because cotton can't be sexy) has all been a part of the patriarchal fever dream. But here's the catch–they would continue to judge you all along.
Even the lingo we use isn't exactly helping rectify the situation. When you call them ‘unmentionables’, you reinstate the notion of abasement associated with undies. In fact, the sheer use of such terms to describe your bras and panties gives a clear message: these aren’t relevant to discuss. We live in a fashion-dominated world where our outfits determine our everyday lives. And while this overemphasis on clothing is encouraged, your lingerie somehow continues to either get sexualized or criticized. Because of this shared mentality around undergarments specifically, that of vulva owners, washing and drying them becomes a gigantic task. That, doing so in the open is a heinous act, and no man should ever sight your panties.
So how does one even begin to care about something that threatens the archaic mindset?
While designing our latest addition to the Sassy fam, Clean Qween, we had one thing figured out—eradicating the guilt around giving your undies the TLC they crave and deserve. We stand by our message; we have nothing to hide about our products. We have worked on the needs of our huha clan, so you can bid farewell to these feelings of shame and embarrassment. We did our research with Clean Qween, so you don’t have to. Did you know that there’s 1/10th of a gram of poop in the average pair of underwear? This may increase your chances of spreading E.coli! Now imagine washing those neglected undies in your typical Indian household. The harsh chemicals present in your mainstream detergents could really be a bummer for your business down there!
With Clean Qween, you have the agency to take special care of both your intimates and the area they hug. It’s super kind to all skin types and the citrusy fresh feels make it all the more wholesome for you. The plethora of ingredients (which by the way, you would know all about) include soap nut extract with special antibacterial & anti-allergic properties to guard your favorite wear against germs; aloe vera loves your skin back and keeps it free of irritation, while coconut glucoside provides the ultra-mild nourishment as it cleanses your delicates. Hence, it is super gentle on your skin, fabrics and hard on stubborn stains, blood stains, body oils, perspiration, and dirt. Your vulva needs the same love that you give to your face and hands. When you rely on chemical-based detergents containing artificial fragrances, chlorinated bleaches, brighteners, and whatnot, that could leave residue in your underwear, exposing your intimate areas to itches, rashes, UTIs, and yeast infections.
So, let your undies gleam & glam as they say, “Thank you, boo!”
Grab our all-natural, biodegradable, peach & plum lovin’ fabric wash here.
Want to know why you should take our word for it? Read more about That Sassy Thing and everything we stand for! Bonus: we have a range of products that would make you all huha-happy! You can check it out here.
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About the author
Anuja Razdan (she/her) is a student/mental & sexual health advocate based in Delhi-NCR, who is currently pursuing her Masters in Psychology from Savitribai Phule Pune University. Being a queer cis woman who is aspiring to practice as a psychotherapist in future, she hopes to essentiate a queer affirming, intersectional feminist, pleasure-positive and kink allied approach towards mental health—on a personal & professional level. All-in-all, she’s your quintessential dog lady with a blue typewriter, living three blocks away, probably writing about you.