Ever caught yourself daydreaming about dating fictional characters? Oh yeah, we've all been there! But just like in real life, not every so-called Bollywood 'Hero' is like Aditya Kashyap. You might also get hit with a shining red flag that didn't seem that red and bad at the beginning.
So, to dodge a cheater like Rahul from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and catch a keeper like Rahul from K3G, we bring you six bright red flags from a fictional universe to teach us some very IRL lessons.
1. If he’s Kabir Singh, run!
If your partner gives Kabir Singh Vibes, don't be bekhayal about the signs. While there are several issues here, let’s zoom in on one of the major ones : his entrance. Kabir, quite literally, demands sex at knifepoint. Sure, there was a "yes" at the start, but fast forward, there's a resounding "no'' echoing through the room. A partner who doesn’t understand that consent is ever-evolving and ever-changing should have no space in your life. Yes, they might not point a knife at you but they've got no business pushing your boundaries, not even in their so-called 'innocent' ways. There’s no trophy for the tujhe kitna chahne lage hum decision here, get out!
2. No Ved from Tamasha, please
A Ved will make a Tamasha out of your relationship. Trust us, your 'I can fix him' attitude will leave you in need of some mental health fixing.If your significant other has his own past trauma demons and decides to play the blame game with you instead of considering therapy, it's time to wave them goodbye. You are not the carrier of any negative vibes, and you absolutely don't have to entertain someone who's more interested in pointing fingers than working towards self-improvement. Heer don't be badi sad about his emotional baggage, just say sayonara.
3. We’re not accepting Arjun from ZNMD behavior, my girls
We're all for chasing those dreams, building those careers, and curating a fabulous lifestyle. But if your partner can't understand that 'Tumhara kaam tumhari life nahi, bas uska ek hissa hai', and you find yourself begging him to make time for you, it is a big, fat no from us! Life's too short to miss out on those precious moments that will never come again. Unless your crush can transform into the Arjun from the latter half of the movie, the one who's up for stargazing on a picnic blanket with you, it's time to show them the door.
4. Don’t make Raghu a Dear in your Zindagi
We don’t need guys who will play with our minds, then come to gaslight us. No, all your cheating and misbehavior is not on me. Partners who drive you crazy with their petty behavior and then call you out for acting crazy, deserve a special space in hell and not in your dear zindagi. If you see any of such guys coming your way, it’s time to yell 'just go to hell’ and if you are already with a Raghu, it’s time to sing, let’s break up o meri jaan.
5. I’m not giving you any money, Ricky Bahl
I get it, the odds of a real-life con artist swooping in to scam you off your hard-earned cash are pretty darn slim. But, when someone's leaning on you like a human crutch for their finances, constantly drumming up reasons for you to foot their bills, especially when your relationship hasn't even had time to sprout roots, it’s an alarm. We are okay if he steals your heart, but honey, don't let him steal your money. Your wallet deserves better protection than that, and you're not here to fund someone else's lifestyle, especially when you might not know the person’s intentions and history fully. So, keep that guard up and don't let him Thug le you.
6. Say ‘no Dil’ and ‘Hai Mushkil’ to an Ali
Alizeh may have fallen into the breadcrumb trail, but darling, I've got your back. We're not buying into the whole "excuses and a half-hearted 'sorry, I'm here now’' charade. You weren't made for a rollercoaster of half-hearted affection and moody love. You deserve love that's there for you, rain or shine, Netflix or chill, and even when life takes a sharp left turn. If he showcases even the slightest traits of Ali, it is time you announce to the whole world, ‘mere saiyaaji se aaj mene breakup kar liya'
So there you have it, our guide to dodging those fictional fellas (and very real life attributes ) who'd make any romantic endeavor seem more like a sitcom gone wrong. It’s time to laugh at the Kabir Singhs, roll our eyes at the Veds, and say adios to the Arjuns. It’s time to show exit to the control freaks, wave goodbye to the manipulators, and envelop ourselves in complete green flags - in fiction and IRL.
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About the Author
Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.
