Every single mainstream white rom-com you might have grown up watching will have at least one scene where the couple kiss or make out in public, flaunting their love for each other. As a 15-year-old, I knew I could only fantasize about the same. I mean, who am I kidding, I am an Indian teen from a conservative Hindu family whose sneaky makeout stories are just that – sneaky. But, a part of me was always tempted by the idea of actually sneaking around with my partners and getting it on where someone could spot us (while manifesting for otherwise, of course). And, if you’re still with me and your head’s like “MAJOR RELATE”, I asked the Occupational Therapist and Sex Educator Sakshi Tickoo who’s based in Mumbai, about the psychology behind people feeling turned on by the idea of sneaking around and getting intimate in a public space.
“Primarily, it’s the thrill and the adrenaline rush that one might get from the idea of being caught in the moment.” She elaborated, “It brings about a sense of novelty and experiencing a safer kind of risk that the couple or the partners can navigate. There may also be some overlapping with an exhibitionist kink (consensual exhibitionism), wherein the partners mutually agree upon getting intimate in a space that is more open than their bedroom, say. So, this is just one of the ways that people seek excitement in their relationships, with their sexuality, and explore different kinds of intimacies.”
So, the hype is legit indeed! To make a case, I reached out to some lovely folks across different parts of India who were happy to share their experiences of making out in the most bizarre/quirky/awkward public spots and the memories they still fondly hold onto! Let’s dig in, shall we?
#1 In the dingy & disgusting parking lot of my best friend’s society
“I was chilling at my best friend’s 1BHK flat and she didn’t know that I was messing around with a guy who happened to be her brother’s arch-nemesis. But when the sex is so good, who cares? He popped by her society that night and I couldn’t resist meeting him. I sneaked him in and made an excuse to my bestie.
We went down the parking lot in his car and parked at a random spot hoping no one saw us. We made out for like 20 minutes before I got a call from my best friend who thought I got lost, lol.”
#2 In the men’s changing room in a mall right before closing hours
“We got off late from work, and my partner decided to head to a mall nearby for a bite because we guessed the food court might still be open. While we were on the escalator, we caught a glimpse of a sale banner and thought we’d check it out real quickly. The manager there was closing up but allowed us to get in and out real quick. Almost all of the staff had left by then so we were all alone in the changing area.
Something came into me and I pulled her into my room and we made out so intensely that my brain stopped working. We rushed past the manager and fled the scene of the passion (crime)!”
#3 In the bylanes of a very aesthetic tourist spot
“Being new to the city, my first date in Mumbai happened in this cozy spot in Bandra and there are a lot of bylanes that you have to walk through to get to the cafe we were meaning to visit.
We were talking, holding hands, and in the middle of a sneaky lane, she got closer and we kissed. It was so prompt and hot, and I was so glad I didn’t chicken out because of the fear of being caught!”
#4 In the car outside a McDonald’s on the highway
“It was 3 AM, and we were driving on the highway heading to a friend’s wedding. I got super hungry, and me and hubby stopped by McDonald’s for a quick snack run.
I don’t know if it was the food high or us just being horny in general, I offered to go down on him. As tempted as he was, he kept looking out. I took a blanket over my head and did what I do the best (no points for guessing!).”
#5 In a cramped restroom of a concert with our song playing in the background
“I remember my ex (who was my partner back then) and I were drunk out of our wits at a concert. I had to pee and the line outside the women’s loo was seemingly endless. So, we sneaked into the men’s washroom. I saw his face and he had that I-am-gonna-kiss-you look. We had a quickie and good lord it was so good, I almost cried.”
Now that you've got through the fun part, let’s not get ahead of ourselves and do our due diligence first. If you plan to engage sexually outside of the context of the bedroom or private space, even if it’s in the heat of the moment, it’s usually a good idea to have specific conversations with your partner beforehand. Sakshi elaborated upon some of the different aspects you may consider while doing so.
Boundaries ought to be discussed: This involves examining the preferences and limits in terms of what physical acts are on the table. So, if it is only kissing, sensually feeling each other up, or involves masturbation, say; for every situation, it’s imperative to define those boundaries clearly.
Read the room: Second-most important thing is to understand the public space you’re going to be in and acknowledge how engaging in certain activities may have socio-legal implications. So, maybe do some digging to anticipate what exactly might be comfortable for you and your partner so you can enjoy without getting into any trouble. If you’re unsure, it’s better to take a step back.
Pick a safe word: For any intimate experience within or beyond the bedroom, it’s a good idea to have a safe word ready so that you’re aware of each other’s comfort levels at all times. If you’re uneasy, tense, or wish to discontinue at a given moment, use the safe word to alert your partner.
Apart from the aforementioned points, please do take into consideration the emotional nuances of engaging in such adventure-filled or risqué activities with your partner in a public or open space. If you feel your partner isn’t on the same page as you, you can even explore that novelty in other ways in a safe space. This way you ensure that everybody’s choices are respected in the process.
Speaking of experimenting, incorporating personal massagers during partnered sex can be a great way to ease into a world of creatively pleasurable possibilities within safer limits. So, it serves the dual purpose of invigorating your sex life and channeling the sense of thrill and rush in a way that’s best for everyone involved. So, get your hands on our hottest intimate massager OG, and our first-ever stroker for men TACO!
*Names have been changed to maintain anonymity.
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