I was sitting with one of my closest friends, Anisha, with junk food in my hand, all set to hear about her last hookup. While it started with talking about orgasms, we soon found ourselves emerged into the political and philosophical nuances of sex and intimacy. The deeper we delved, the more we realized how much we didn't know. Sound familiar?

Trust me, we've all been there. But Anisha and I were determined to find answers. So, we went down a rabbit hole of research. That's how I first stumbled upon some TED Talks revolving around the world of physical connections, and let me tell you -  I was hooked! Not only were they informative, but also entertaining, and they gave me the courage to talk about all those burning questions I'd been keeping to ourselves. Today, I want to share those with you, to introduce you to the world of intimacy in a new light.

1. The Relationship between Sex and Imagination by Gina Gutierrez

You’re snuggled up with your partner, the room is dimly lit, and you start kissing. They are an excellent kisser, but ah, you hate dimly lit rooms. Now, how does this impact your sexual experience as a whole? This talk will hit you with the realization of how we often forget that sex is as much mental as it is physical.

Gina Gutierrez, the founder of an audio-erotica company called Dipsea, explores how narrow our definition of sex is. She beautifully dives into the safe space that fantasies are, the power they hold, how to create your own beautiful backdrops, and what to do with those after. I’ve let Gutierrez be my guide for a more satisfying experience and I cannot recommend it enough!

2. What we don't teach kids about sex by Sue Jaye Johnson

From a world that is hushed about sex and anything to do with it, we have finally now started taking tiny steps toward sex education. Parents, teachers, and sex educators have started initiating conversations about consent and unwanted pregnancies. However, what are we still missing?

Sue Jaye Johnson, the founder and the editor of The Pleasure Report gives a fresh insight on why and how we can teach our children to articulate their sensations. No, this isn’t your usual ‘good touch’ v/s ‘bad touch’ sex ed. It is about teaching them the sensations that pleasure their bodies better, the sensations that make their bodies feel loved more. Sue reminds us to teach the next generation all the things we wish we knew as young girls. And honestly, who knows, we might even end up learning more about ourselves in the process.

3. How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection for a lifetime by Emily Nagoski

It’s fairly easy to maintain a sexual spark at the beginning of a relationship, but how do we keep the flames burning as years pass by? How do we do this after we’ve tried all the tips and tricks we read in a quippy article about reigniting your sex life?

Emily Nagoski, a sex educator, is often confronted with this question by her friends. She answers them with stories and science behind the key ingredients for a satisfying sex life. Her quirky metaphors will make your mind explode and her personal experiences will make you feel like you're chatting with your best friend.

4. 10 things you didn't know about orgasm by Mary Roach

Are you ready to know mind-boggling facts about one of our life’s most interesting (and mysterious) phenomena?

Roach takes the listener on a journey of uncovering facts about orgasms through history, culture, and science. From the recipes in the literature on creating artificial semen, the ways that orgasm can be induced without physical touch, and the strange world of animal orgasm, this talk covers a LOT of ground!

What makes this talk even better is Roach’s delivery. Her wit and humor will make you giggle throughout, I promise. If you’re in a light mood but also wish to fill your head with rib-tickling information about orgasms - do not wait! This talk is going to take you to places you’ve never been (yes, all pun intended).

5. What young women believe about their own sexual pleasure by Peggy Orenstein

What does being a sexually empowered woman actually mean? I urge you to let Peggy Orenstein hold your hand as you navigate through this complex question. 

This talk raises a very important question - ‘Yes, consent is crucial, but what after that?’ It peeks into women’s beliefs on how entitled they feel to enjoy sex and the shame women experience about their genitalia. It also delves into the matrix used by men v/s women to measure sexual pleasure (believe me, this will shock you) and an alternate version of what virginity can mean (I’m so impressed, y’all have no idea!). 

Orenstein weaves together scientific research and cultural critique to create a talk that is timely, as well as timeless. If you feel anxious about the control you have over your sex life, I hope that you’ve pressed ‘play’ already. 

So there you have it, folks! I hope that it’s been a wild ride through the twists and turns of the erotic world. I’m raising a glass to the widening of your sexual horizons and of course, pleasure. Stay tuned for some more exciting recommendations from our end, but until we meet again, keep on exploring!

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About the Author 

Hemali (she/her) is an explorer of the realms of sexuality, intimacy, and dating. She talks endlessly about the evolving landscape of feminist narratives on the big screen and makes you reanalyze the portrayal of women in mainstream culture. If you're looking for alternative conversation starters, take your pick from: Biryani, Art Fairs, or Spoken Word Poetry.